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VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A COMI-TRAGEDY.

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S. GOSNELL, Printer, Little Queen Street, Holborn.

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PASSAGES SELECTED BY DISTINGUISHED PERSONAGES, ON THE GREAT LITERARY TRIAL OF VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A Comi-Tragedy.

"WHETHER IT BE—OR BE NOT FROM THE IMMORTAL PEN OF SHAKSPEARE?"

VOLUME II.

SEVENTH EDITION.

—"Open me a huge Wardrobe aboundinge in motlie habittes, and marke howe fantasticallie poore mortals will arraie themselves!" VORT. and ROW.

LONDON: PRINTED FOR J. RIDGWAY, NO. 170, OPPOSITE OLD BOND STREET, PICCADILLY. 1807.

IRELAND verſus SHAKESPEAR!!!

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By the COURT.

IT having been effectually argued, and demurred on the part of the DEFENDANT, that no queſtionable points of Literature, any more than queſtionable points of law, can in equity be preſſed to an haſty deciſion;

It is Ordered, that the VERDICT be not received, on this important cauſe, until the whole SUFFRAGES, already tendered, or intended to be tendered, in ſaid cauſe, be duly received, and ſolemnly recorded!

POLONIUS

CONTENTS.

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PASSAGES SELECTED AS SUFFRAGES ON THE TWENTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.

CI.—Earl of M—RA.

‘"—Commende me to a buſie COUNT for a buſtlinge worlde! One minute will he wooe you gallantlie at a faire Dame's toilette on his humble knee—and flie the next to bende a prouder creſte than his owne, in the face of the Lordes Senate-houſe!—You may always meete SERASKIN at one turn or other of human extremes. He will with zeale overflowinge ſtop to pleade the cauſe of the poore captive, while conveying the gauge of honourable defiance to a proude PRINCE in aide of one, whom chaunce has barred from regal blood!—Fight will he himſelfe moſt manſullie; but, as you prize the credit of his valoure, let it be done under his own guidance ſpecial.—Punctilious is he as noble; ſo that he will ſence with the Sages of his Sov'raine's Council untill the moone's at the full, upon the ſenſe conſtructive of their own decrees!—Such outwarde workinges ſway this compound man, whoſe minde within moves but for others goode, which dothe his owne felicitie embrace!"’

PAGE 321.—GENUINE.

CII.—Mrs. M—NT—GU.

[2]

‘"Marry, goode Dame! but you maie well deride the partial boones of Nature, when a left-handed imitation of taſte dothe ſo currentlie counterfeite her handiworkes!—With the redundance of mortal frailties eſtabliſh me thy faire fame on matchleſs ſingularitie!—Criticiſe where thou can'ſt not comprehend; and ſatirize where the weak worlde doth fooliſhlie admire.—Like the matron of Mantua, garter thy partie-coloured leg below the knee; and mount on the liſtes of meeke-cyed Charitie, by feedinge with dates and dainties one day in the Kalendar, all the ſootie race of Chimnie-ſweepinge boyes, that they may enjoie the luxurie of their harde fate through the remainder of the yeare!"’

PAGE 123.—Not GENUINE.

CIII.—Earl of B—LF—ST.

[3]

‘"Methinks, good STEPHAND, thoſe of my father's houſe did take me for a Bulle of Iriſhe extraction; for they ſet curs to bait me into madneſs, while more tenderlie did they ſelect an ambling Scotte, of Gallowaye breed, for the merriment of my junior brother!—But ſince they drove me to the altar of ſacrifice, I did adventure to take with me a help-meet, and there, with the aide of pious Prieſt, I made my maiden * BELLE faſte, by a knot tied with my tongue, which dothe now challenge all their wiſe wittes to untie againe with their teethe!"’

PAGE 63.—Not GENUINE.

CIV.—C—ſs of ******.

[4]
"Why was KARKMENA prodigalie ſtored
"With all the wiles which wanton rounde her ſexe,
"But to diſplaie in peering woman hoode
"Supremacie's fell power? Oh, marke ye well
"Howe ſhe dothe turne meeke Nature in her courſe;
"Make diadems the royal temples chafe;
"Tie with a buſie hande the gordian knotte
"Of others love, that ſhe (of human woe,
"Inſatiate deſtinie) may cut in twaine
"The ſilken ligatures of mortal bliſſe!
"Her features with her voice are well attuned,
"True to the varyinge miſchiefes of her minde!
"Like the firſt poliſh'd Serpente, that ſeduced
"The eaſie faithe of ADAM's wedded love,
"A more than Angel's form ſhe can aſſume,
"And wooe in ſcraph ſtraines the creature doom'd
"To drinke the dulcet poiſon of her tongue,
"And fall her 'g [...]iled ſacrifice!"
PAGE 187.—GENUINE.

TWENTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.

[5]

CV.—Colonel C—WTH—NE.

"—Varniſhe me doublie over by a ſpecial Courte of Law Martial, or no more weare I a coate of maile i' the King's tented fielde!—I have gone about to indite me a ſpeeche that ſhall be-puzzle the bie-ſtanders, and confounde the clumſie imagination of mine enemie!—Let him doe now as he liſte, I may defie his malice to make me more or leſſe, than the thinge in veritie I am!—To mine owne bright valoure am I indebted as a man of armes!—I have ſeene much powder waſted on a ſun-ſhinie day!—thankes to my genius in the arte of war, I am alſo right converſant i' the quick step to the retreate, and, by an eare refined, I now can nice diſtinction make, betwixte the "Dinner Tattoo," and "Go to bed, Tom!"
PAGE 51.—GENUINE.

CVI.—Lady E— B—NG—M.

[6]
"Oh fie, my quondam Coz. of Norfolk!—Did you not practiſe on my girliſhe vanitie, when I was depicted the fair SHEBA to your Grace's wiſer SOLOMON?—You told me I was then ‘"in all my glorie;"’ but, alack, no ſooner did they taunte me with the honours they conferred, than my weake woman's frailtie rebelled againſt the bloode of HOWARD's loftie race!—Why did I ſweare to love the man by others eyes thus choſen?—With ſoules as much at variance as our ſaithe, what could I better, than the latter loſe, to ſave the former, and breake the odious webbe, wherein, like ſillie flie, I was unwittinglie enſnared?"
PAGE 77.—Not GENUINE.

CVII.—Sir F— B—LL—R.

[7]

‘"This trottinge from Courte to Courte, terme after terme, befittes not my humour well!—But ſince I am ſworne an Adminiſtrator of the Lawes, I will ſee them moſt wholeſomelie diſpenſed to all offendinge creatures, male and female!—The knaves incorrigible will I ſtringe like ropes of onions; and to teache conjugal obeiſance to womankind, their meaſure of chaſtiſement will I decree to be dealt at their huſbandes handes by the Rule of THUMBE!"’

PAGE 94.—GENUINE.

CVIII.—Lady CAROLINE C—MPB—LL.

[8]
"I did a plaine untitled man eſpouſe,
"(With wealthe, like his own mountaines high amaſſed
"That I might lead the pliante huſbande bounde
"To vaſſalage eterne!—To me he lookes
"With lowlie eye, as to the ſacred founte
"From whence his borrowed luſtre is derived.—
"Whene'er I deign to commune—'tis not oft—
"His greedie eare mine accents dothe devoure,
"As falling from anointed dignitie!
"He, with the prating worlde, preſumes to ſaie,
"That I am ſhaped and featured in the moulde
"Of Grecian lovelineſs:—but, Tineallie trained
"Above the incenſe of the lower ſpheres,
"See how I ſoare beyond poor mortals' praiſe,
"In proude ſupremacie of ſtate!"
PAGE II.—GENUINE.

TWENTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.

[9]

CIX.—Earl of EGR—M—T.

‘—"When they made ſuch Lordes as this ſame Compte Hugolto, they knewe their trade well, and wrought with the beſt materials!—Marry, Sir, you trace not him through the foiles, and doubles of your Court purlieus, but finde him on his owne domaine, like one who ſhrinks not at the Shrieve's officer, nor feares the reproaches of a tenantrie tortured upon rackrentes!—Although the learned languages be as familiar to him as plaine-dealing, he offends no unlettered man with his ecce homos! or tu quoques!—The felicitie of all Heaven's creatures is his delighte, and the voice of gratitude attends it—even his houndes challenge him at viewe, on the ſcore of his benevolence!—Whatever be the portion of his failings, the frailtie of man's nature will reaſonably account for it!"’

PAGE 165.—GENUINE.

CX.—Counteſs of ES—X.

[10]

‘—"On her viſit to Algieres, they did elect her Empreſs of the gaudie Maccaws!—ſince which, plumes, and cheekes of various hues, have mightlie adorned her!—After this, the doctrines of * painted paſte-b [...]ards did ſhe eſtudie under the learned Jewes in Paleſtine! ſtrange trickes by ſlight of hande were then diſplaied to thoſe her ſiſterhoode, who croſſed her luckie palme i' the ſillie hope of bettering their fortunes!—So that with her Lorde's Courte dealinges, and her own dexterous dealinges in * Courtlie paper, they turne the worlde right merrilie around them!"’

PAGE 13.—Not GENUINE.

CXI.—The Duke of L—DS.

[11]

‘—"In good truth he hathe been piouſlie nurtured; for no ſooner did his ſainted mother bring him forthe, than falling ſound aſleepe, ſhe dreamed of ſucklinge his infant Grace upon the milkie way! hence of Chriſtian mildneſs doe all his manners gentlie ſmack.—And yet he 'll quarrel not either with a Grace, or a Muſe of fire; nay, he can whiſper a light thing gallantlie to a female in the darke, and tag a mendicant Epilogue, to chaunte an half-damned Plaie-wrighte out of the tortures of purgation!"’

PAGE 12.—Not GENUINE.

CXII.—Lady GR—NV—LE.

[12]
"Though fortune on her lovelie browe hath placed
"In proudeſt jewelrie the wreathe of ſtate,
"Marke with what grace upon her gentle breaſte
"The pearle of Chriſtian charitie appeares,
"More chaſtelie brighte, and radiantlie pure,
"Than all that Courtlie diadems diſplaie!"
PAGE 88.—GENUINE.

TWENTY-SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[13]

CXIII.—Sir P—P—R A—D—N.

‘—"Marrie, Sir, I picked not up my common lawe as a pigeon dothe his peaſe, i' th' common fielde,—So will I throwe away an opinion haſtilie for no man!—As everie caſe in pointe hathe of neceſſitie two ſides, ſo hathe your libelle conſtitutional its texte, and contexte; out of which we ſometimes make a third—to witte—your mar-texte!—But I do demean myſelfe to parlie thus; becauſe it appertaineth unto me, as Maſter of the Rolles to our truſtie Sov'raine Lorde the Kinge, to ſee that on the proper ſide his royal breade be gliblie butter'd!"’

PAGE 12.—GENUINE.

CXIV.—Mrs. C—P—G—Y.

[14]

‘"She is as daintie a wild-ducke as ever haunted the lake of a decoy—and, once on winge, arreſt her giddie flighte who can! She hath the witte moſt wiſelie to enacte whatever follie vanitie dothe ſette before her; and a charitie ſo Chriſtian-like, that ſhe dothe barter fine foode and raiment for the emptie ſcraps of peddling poetaſters!—Muſique and farabands doe ſo invite her, that, with her lattice open, ſhe'll ſit through moon-light nights, unmaſqued, to hear the ſtraines of amorous ſerenaders, and come ſorthe next morn the Arch'reſs DIAN, diſplaieing a leg moſt continentlie buſkined! Oh, Sir, ſo rarelie dothe ſhe plaie theſe prettie prankes, that halfe the gapeinge worlde are cheated in beliefe that they have ſeen one angel upon earthe Stark mad!"’

PAGE 29.—Not GENUINE.

CXV.—Earl of M—D.

[15]

‘—"To moulde a ſturdie race of mortal men, you muſt faſhion them from materials coarſe and impenetrable!—Let there be none, which the teare of dulleyed Charitie dothe melt to womanlie compaſſion;—but imitate the Stoique fortitude of him, whoſe breaſte is harder than a ten weekes froſte, and which no human breathe e'er thawed into benevolence!"’

PAGE 103.—Not GENUINE.

CXVI.—Ducheſs of N—W—STLE.

[16]
"Oh, throughout Nature's workes, what havocke wilde
"Dothe one dire ſhafte of deſtinie ordaine!
"—If 'twere from ſtate alone that I had fallen,
"This breaſte had never ſwolne with griefe or care;
"But I am humbled from the crowned height
"Of wedded love, and, with my Lorde, have loſte
"All that a woman's harte could holde, or prize!"
PAGE 107.—GENUINE.

TWENTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.

[17]

CXVII.—Biſhop of R—R.

‘—"I meete the prattling ABBOTTE of Glaſtonburie, juſt as he had gotten the thorne i' the fleſhe by meddling more buſilie with the Lawe than the Goſ [...] and though a preacher of obedience paſſive in other men, he bore the ſmart of his own ſufferings a [...]er the manner of the prieſthoode—intolerantlie!—He was clothed in lambe-ſkin throughout, ſignifying, I wotte, that he ſhould become belle-wether to the reverend flocke.—Journieing a little onward, I eſpied me the counterfeit reſemblance of his worſhippe, fagotted at the public Market Croſſe, in full pontificalibus!—Marrie, quothe I, my neighbours, but this looketh like a burninge ſhame, to make ye of ſuch combuſtible HOLINESS, a lighte to lighten the Gentiles!"’

PAGE 321.—GENUINE.

CXVIII.—Lady MIL—G—N.

[18]
"I praie you, deareſt mother, thinke again!
"You, as the childe of fortune, being 'trothed
"When the wilde hey-daie of the bloode was paſte,
"Knewe not, from croſſinge of a virgin love,
"A frenzie that no medicine can reache,
"Save Time's oblivious anodyne; and which
"Dothe ſpreade dire chillinges through the veines,
"To palſie life's enjoyment!"
PAGE 66.—Not GENUINE.

CXIX.—Marquis of L—T—N.

[19]
—"Time's chroniclers do tell us, that, practiſing on the weakneſſe ſeminine of the Lorde UDROSCO, the ſlie knaves o' th' Courte eajoled him to holde the darkened lanthorne, while they did trie to filche the diadem from the browe of their ſicke Maſter. Afterwards he was ſo bedazzled by this peeringe of a meteor lighte, as to follow it o'er unſounde ſoile, where in bogge and penance dothe he ſtill remaine, far from the ray of riſing, or of ſettinge ſunne!"
PAGE 22.—GENUINE.

CXX.—Mrs. N—TH.

[20]
—"Saie, who hath ſeene
"GERSTINA, late from Mantua return'd!
"I marvel if her travaile hathe caſte off
"The midnight 'witcheries of luſtful plaie,
"Which held her minde by ſaſcination bounde?—
"Or if th'incautious care of vanitie
"By prudence hathe been wiſelie ſealed againſt
"The dulcet poiſon of a flatterer's tale?
"Thus error's wayward pathe may be trod backe,
"And grace attend the foote-ſteps yet to come!"
PAGE 54.—Not GENUINE.

TWENTY-NINTH DAY's TRIAL.

[21]

CXXI.—Alderman L—SH—N.

‘—"More headſtrong are theſe fellowe Cittes of mine, than ſo manie Spanniſhe mules unbitted!—They delighte themſelves as muche in a roaſted Aldermanne on their huſtinges, as a barbicued pigge in the eramminge ides of November!—And here am I, the repreſentative ſworne of ſuch gluttonizing varlettes; compelled to bow to theſe ſtockes obeiſantlie, or be diſmiſſed their Senate-ſervice!—make ſtrange ſpeeches to amuſe their wilde-gooſe fancies!—eate with them through ſirlines colde, and paſties hotte!—nay eate mine own wordes till they nearlie choake me, and all will not content them!—A plague on ſuch ſervitude, ſaie I, where our men of Liverie doe lorde it o'er their betters, and keepe their Civicke Maſters thus at painful watch, and warde!"’

PAGE 76.—Not GENUINE.

CXXII.—Lady JOHN T—D.

[22]
—"For durance ſhorte
"Aſtrina's radiancie was in eclipſe,
"Like the faire plannette of a clouded ſphere;
"But when her diſke unveiled againe its orbe,
"Forthe ſhotte its ſtream of lighte, and purer ſhone,
"To everie eye that gazed upon her beautie!"
PAGE 83.—GENUINE.

CXXIII.—PRINCE LASC—S.

[23]

‘—"Pooh! pooh!—Nature could never mean, in wanton mockerie, to ſtampe me ſo like the thinge in veritie I am not!—Sir, I was ſmuggled from my cradle royal in the unfortunate hour of darkneſſe.—But, be that as it maie, each line of this faire face ſomething majeſtique dothe denote; for women far and neare doate fondlie on my PRINCELIE ſeeming!—Theſe finde it on my bloominge cheeke!—ſome in the noſe of regal arche!—and others in each looke, and lineament, that marke ſuperior birthe!—nay, there are thoſe, who doe diſcern ſimilitude of our Houſe i' the leathern veſt that dothe my rear environ!—True it is, that all theſe dignities are but ill provided for by ſubject-like revenues: yet muſt they be uphelde; for who, yelep'd the ſhadowe of a Prince, could baſelie crouch beneathe the ſlender ſubſtance of a Gentleman!"’

PAGE 2.—Not GENUINE.

CXXIV.—Counteſs of EX—R.

[24]

‘—"Alacke! is lordlie grandeur nought but this,—to live thus under vaulted roofes, too vaſte for human wantes, and ſee poore folke pent up in heapes 'neath ſtrawleſs houſeings?—When they did tell me I was to be a Ladie noblie happy, I did expecte to holde more frequent commune with this worlde's peace; but, well a daie! time paſt I ſaw more innocencie 'mid the lowlie walkinges of my father's ſheepe, than now I finde through all the hurley-Burleigh ſcenes of proude man's race!"’

PAGE 12.—GENUINE

THIRTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

[25]

CXXV.—Duke of GL—R.

"Lo! there walkes forthe the mildeſt DUKE in Milan!
"But that I knowe the ſtuffe of which he 's made,
"One might have ſworne it on the croſſe
"The Deſtinies had tied him to a diſtaffe!
"Though he ne'er vaulted on th' embattled plaine,
"He hathe a ſoule beſtirringe him to armes,
"Leagued with the ſocial ſoftneſſe of a minde
"That joies in human peace.—No Courte caballes,
"Nor feudes of mal-contents doe him delighte:
"So to a PRINCE, thus lifting up the MAN,
"My harte right willinglie dothe pay obeiſance!"
PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CXXVI.—Hon. T. O—SL—W.

[26]

‘—"I charge you, fellowes, lay not uncourtlie handes on me!—Should you finde me not the ſofte ſleepie ſonne of a Bedchamber LORDE, toſſe me in a Tailor's blankette!—Though I maie lacke vaſte poſſeſſions of landes and beeves, I am a huge inheritor of pride, and that 's enough for me:—ſo looke too 't—for he muſt have more follie than doth appertain to my ſhare who contends with the firſt begotten of a race, ſo riche in oftentation human!"’

PAGE 65.—GENUINE.

CXXVII.—Mrs. M—LLS.

[27]

‘—"And this be a LORDE's manſion, I'd have you to knowe, that I and mine have beene houſed in a better!—We knewe what was what before we did departe from Merrie Wakefielde to joine the Londonne Gentrie!—My goode man, and it like your Ladieſhip, was a clothier, and ſo it bechanced that I became ſo marvelouſlie dreſſed!—For my parte, I like everie thinge that is goode for the outſide, as well as within; and the beſt will be the beſt, after all!—Small as I appeare, and little as your Ladieſhip maie think it, I am worthe no leſſe than ten thouſand ducattes, ſimplie as I ſtand apparelled before you!"’

PAGE 24.—Not GENUINE.

CXXVIII.—Mrs. BR—ST—W.

[28]
"By whim, or deſtinie, eſtrang'd from him
"Right heritor of all ſhe hathe to give
"Of well-ſtored conſtancie, or wedded love,
"O! guarde her from the wiles which lurke arounde
"The zone of unprotected womanhoode,
"And ſhewe how gracefullie, in modeſt miene,
"Maternal habbittes do befitte her ſexe.
"Still ſoaringe in her ſphere, ſo maie this Starre
"Which from the EAST hathe made its dazzlinge courſe,
"Serenelie ſette within our weſterne clime!"
PAGE 84.—GENUINE.

THIRTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

[29]

CXXIX.—THE LORD M—Y—R.

‘—"This Sir KNIGHTE that would be, was a thrivinge baker of unleavened biſcuite, and his countenance being combuſtiblie inclined, did take much fire at the mouthe of his own oven!—He banquetted ſumptucuſlie whole troopes of Courtiers, in veſſels of ſretted ſilver, in honour of his own nativitie, while poore men were crying aloud for bread-corne, which they were forbidden to taſte, and therefore lamented the houre they were born!—His fellowe Cittes did proclaim in waggerie that he was himſelf but ſlacklie ba [...]ed; but that heeded he not, while he could contrive to gette a goodlie cutte at the Loafe of State, and thence lay up in ſtore, the crumbes of his owne comforte!"’

PAGE 49.—Not GENUINE.

CXXX.—Earl of ORF—D.

[30]

‘—"Why ſhoulde they make any one of God's fraile creatures a mightie man againſt his wille, when ſo many packes of hungrie knaves are huntinge nighte and daie for lordlie honoures!—A title is to me no more than a potte of founding mettal is when tied perforce to a poor curre's taile, and which, with all his mighte, he cannot ſhuffle off!—I had rather be an indentured binder of bookes, and ſtiche mine owne workes in humble coveringe of vellum, than the paramount Duke in Paleſtine, enrobed in golde, and ermine!"’

PAGE 78.—Not GENUINE

CXXXI.—Lady M—LB—NE.

[31]
—"I marvelle how the Lady ELIBERT, who hathe ſeen Time's hour-glaſſe ſo oft turned o'er, dothe ſtille maintaine thoſe lookes of lovelineſſe without abatement!—One might as ſoone ſtand the forked flaſhes of a fierie ſkie ſans blinkinge, as the autumnal radiance of her eye without thinking of the fruite forbidden!—If theſe meteors be permitted to holde ſo longe a courſe, what honeſt man's harte throughout Meſſina can be helde in reaſonable ſubjection?"
PAGE 123.—GENUINE.

CXXXII.—Lady BRIDGET T—LL—M—CHE.

[32]
"Armed with the pointed wiles of woman's witte,
"Earlie the phantome Pleaſure I have chaced
"Through all her anticke roundes; and if, perchance,
"The 'witchinge fugitive I did approache,
"I lack'd the ſkille her fleetinge courſe to ſtaie!
"—The chequered variance of wedded life
"Nexte ruled this giddie harte of mine, and gave
"Abundantlie of joie and griefe!—Though laſte,
"Too ſoone came Sorrowe, with a clouded ſkie,
"To marke the mother's melancholie ſate,
"Who on one darlinge bliſſe had ſealed her hope,
"And, ere it bloomed, behelde it t [...]ne away!"
PAGE 56.—GENUI [...]

THIRTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

[33]

CXXXIII.—Sir JAMES M— P—LT—Y.

‘"Tell me, Belloſtern, did I not delineate their militarie exploites on the Continente, with marvellous circumſtantiation? When we were cuſſed like frogges acroſſe the dykes o' the Low Countries, ſente I not over couriers to them of victories atchieved, and i' the face of the Senate, vouched I not the veritie of mine own Commentaries?—And howe for all thoſe deedes have they repaide me? I aſked but to be ennobled after the manner of others of like deſerts, when they did renounce my ſuite who profitted of my ſervice; ſo that I was compelled to become the founder of mine owne honours, by creating myſelfe a Knighte of the BATHE!"’

PAGE 66.—GENUINE.

CXXXIV.—Mrs. H—ST—GS.

[34]

‘—"Marke me that fictionne fretted on the clothe in golde, and prieſtlie purple! A tale it is in veriue, though here by holie fabuliſte proclaimed!—She on the righte, with precious jewelrie bedecked, is the 'witching Sheba, who roſe and journied with the Sunne, to viſitte Solomon in all his glorie!—To winne him o'er to Eaſtern dalliance, ſee howe her pliante bodie ſhe dothe bende ev'n to the grounde ſhe ſprang from!—and lo! her eyes by baſſeliſques bequeathed, do rivette on his frame the ſilke-worme chaine ſhe wroughte for his enthraldomme!"’

PAGE 100.—Not GENUINE.

CXXXV.—Alderman B—K W—TS—N.

[35]

‘"My Warde of * Coblers, revengeful of the fin I loſte, are ſworne devourers of the jowles of Coddo, with ſhoulders huge 'pertaininge!—Theſe ſimple knaves of gluttonie, but little wotte that I did tempte the prowlinge Sharke to plaie with me i' the waters, that I mighte learne of him voracious artes aright;—and howe, like this purveyor of the deepe, to boulte whatever floated tempting to the eye!—I heede not then the ſhapeful limbe I loſte—for, down the jawe capacious of a Greenlande Whale alike the gorged PROPHET would I hoppe, ſo I might gaine more worldlie wiſdome by the dreade deſcente!"’

PAGE 22.—Not GENUINE.

CXXXVI.—Mrs. B—RW—L.

[36]
—"Full well I knowe
"That men in piece-meales have their hartes compoſed
"To feede th'impaſſioned appetites they meet;
"But ſaie, ſhall I diſcharge my wedded vowe,
"When with his fraile infirmities I tooke
"This teeble Lorde of mine, and fondlie ſwore
"Even at the altarre's foote, I would endure them?
"Then let not malice multiplie miſdeedes
"To 'tract my aching eye, which faine would turne
"To gaze on what his virtues do illumine!"
PAGE 134.—GENUINE.

THIRTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

[37]

CXXXVII.—Princeſs AMELIA.

—"The regalle VINE
"Gives thus her laſte faire bloſſomme to the ſunne,
"E'en while its honoured branches doe diſplaie
"Ripe cluſters temptinge to the luſcious eye!
"Paſſe chillinge elements ſerenelie o'er,
"And leave no pallid blighte with power to tainte
"Such lovelie promiſe of autumnal fruite!"
PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CXXXVIII.—Major-General M—C—D.

[38]

‘"I knowe the ſavage HUNTER well; like his owne HOUNDES he dothe himſelfe delighte in human bloode! When he let ſlip his thirſtful dogges of warre, he did inſultinglie denounce my northerne noſe as not well-ſenſed for the fielde! therefore, as village curie, muſt I purſue, and yelpinge marre the chace I cannot ſhare!"’

PAGE 54—Not GENUINE.

CXXXIX.—Lady D—D—Y and W—D.

[39]

‘"Touchinge at the ſamed Iſland of Madeira, the natives did courte her Excellencie to ſojourne there, fancieing that their vintage might purple more richlie under her roſeate influence! On this we gave our canvaſſe to the windes, leſt our own Britain might itſelf be ſpoiled of a countenance, which argufied the better deedes of the goode creature!"’

PAGE 100.—Not GENUINE.

CXL.—Mr. WH—TB—D, Sen.

[40]

‘—"This is he, who dothe an oylie beverage compounde, to cheere the honeſt vaſlalles of our iſle! Of liquor ſtoute he hoops ye countleſſe caſkes; though he makes no if, nor butte, in which to bung up his benevolence. He hathe a harte ſo faire abroache to ſilent charitie, that never can it reache the lees;—nay, looke at his verie beaſtes of burden!—do they not ſhine out the kindlie ſemblance of their maſter's face upon the poliſhed ſurface of their well-ſed ſkinnes?"’

PAGE 23.—GENUINE.

THIRTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.

[41]

CXLI.—Right Hon. T. H—RL—Y.

‘"Well have they ſtamped VIRGISTERN father of the capitalle, whoſe heade Dan TIME has ſilvered o'er ſo honourablie in theire ſervitude! Unlike the cloudie-witted Cittes his fellowes, he taketh not his ſleepe and foode as dull provocatives to eache other's joie; for, his commercial duties done, he hies him to the noble culture of his ſoile, and thus ſtandes he admired in eache, the civicke championne, and the ruralle Lorde!"’

PAGE 38.—GENUINE.

CXLII.—Marchioneſs of D—N—G—L.

[42]
"I'd ſooner trundle turnippes through the ſtreetes,
"Than beare menne's weakneſſes at ſecond hande
"Withoute the Nurſe's cordial ſpice of gaine.
"She is alone ſteppe-mother, who o'er-ſteppes
"The punie offspringe of a former race,
"And bends them to that claſſe ſubmiſſivelie,
"Where Follie lookes to finde her elder-borne!"
PAGE 3.—Not GENUIN [...]

CXLIII.—Mr. M. A. T—L—R.

[43]
—"Trulie I was in lucke's way in havinge a father begotten before me!—yet what in mine infancie he did kindlie treaſure up, cunninge menne would nowe beguile me of in manhoode!—No ſooner had I ta'en the wrinkles out of theſe poore varlettes ſkinnes by wholeſome provender, than they began to whet their wittes upon the coarſeneſſe of my kitchen diette! Marrie, one of theire Stage Punneſters did aſke me, an I were not Bodie TAYLOR to ST. MICHAEL and all his ANGELS?—Moreover they did deride the golden architecqture of my Sire, and woulde faine have pulled downe with wantonne handes, what he, with hodde and trowelle, did ſo marvelouſlie pile up!—So thought I fitte to breake with them, leſt, by the friendlie prodigalitie of ſuch hungrie knaves, I ſhould myſelfe be broken!"
PAGE 99.—GENUINE.

CXLIV.—Lady AUGUSTA CL—V—G.

[44]
"Courtes marr'd ROWENA not: though ſhininge there
"Preeminentlie graced, ſhe onlie ſighed
"To winne one inmate to her conſtante harte,
"And owne him Lorde of all her life to come!
"Her maiden hope fulfilled, how well ſhe wore
"The pure, unſullied habitte of a wyfe!
"Which Nature form'd to ſitte ſo lovelie on her!—
"Nexte came a motherre's newe, and deare delightes,
"When to her younge inherittores ſhe gave
"All the delicious ſtores of love twice tolde
"Which, in careſſes from their manlie Sire,
"She doatinglie had treaſured up!"—
PAGE 55.—GENUINE.

THIRTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.

[45]

CXLV.—M—q—s of B—K—H—M.

"Upon the oiley ſurface of this lande
"Have I ſo rolled, and hugelie fattened,
"That my owne ponderous temples 'gin to ache
"With the exceedinges of ſo vaſte a ſurfeite!
"Nowe with a minde amphibiouſſie formed,
"I pine for other elements, and faine
"Would ſwaye a lordlie ſceptre o'er the deepe,
"That in this liquid voide quite uncontrouled,
"A dreade Leviathanne I there might move!"
PAGE 66.—Not GENUINE.

CXLVI.—Lady E—TH R—CK—TS.

[46]

‘"I doe remember me, a faire, and noble maiden of Padua, ſo envied for her beautie, that ſome of her owne ſexe did chronicle againſt her lovelineſſe, tideings, falſe, as they were foule! but, in good ſoothe, Juſtice did amende her damaged fame with ſo rounde a ſumme in duckattes, that ſhe was conſtrained to call a huſbande in to counte them!—marry, from hence it waggiſhlie was ſaid, that her Ladieſhip did drawe her wedding ſheetes from out the libertie of our preſſe!"’

PAGE 117.—GENUINE.

CXLVII—Vice-Admiral C—NW—S.

[47]

‘—"That ſame bluſtering Ocean, let me tell you, Neighbour, breedes us a fewe odde monſters, as troubleſome as itſelfe!—It is an element on which the circumnavigators of our Sovereign Lorde doe ſaile too ofte in chace of their owne phantaſies! Some, like the moodie animals in Noah's daies, you cannot drive on boarde their barque with pitch-forkes; while others, muleiſhlie inclined, will hardlie quitte the mountain ARKE when it be ſtranded!"’

PAGE 117.—GENUINE.

CXLVIII.—Lady SM—H B—G—SS.

[48]
"Soone as my huſbande's trafficke i' th' EASTE
"Diſplaied with gilding raies a riſing ſunne,
"And bent the worlde's baſe worſhippers before it,
"On his new wheele of fortune did I rolle
"Within the giddie circles of the greate
"To all mankind's amazement!—Reſtleſs there.
"I deale my aires fantaſticallie rounde,
"Pledged by inſatiate vanitie to prove
"What golde, with female frontlette unappalled
"In imitative grandeure may atchieve!"
PAGE 10.—Not GENUINE.

THIRTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.

[49]

CXLIX.—Lord M—LD—N.

‘"In theſe ariſtocratique daies, 't is well there be ſome littel LORDES, who can deviſe the meanes to make themſelves leſſe: ſuch are your ſillie knaves, who, ſetting not their bartes on aught ſubſtantial, will barter you the charmes of a delectable miſtreſſe for the more fleetinge ſemblance of a Prince's favour!—Theſe fellowes, without the ſpirit to protect a woman, will provoke you one of our moſt puiſſante Lordes to ſingle combatte, and after all he toucheth not his doublette, though it be ſwollen out as huge as an Iſlingtowne hayſtacke!"’

PAGE 3.—GENUINE.

CL.—D—ſs of M—LB—GH.

[50]
"Go prate of meeke humilitie to thoſe
"Whoſe neckes are form'd to bende beneathe her yoke
"I have a creſte that gracefullie denotes
"A high, and loftie minde, which ſcorns to view
"Poore vulgar mortals crawling underneathe,
"Thoſe inſectes of a lower worlde, ordain'd
"To be by higher orders trodden down!"
PAGE 100.—Not GENUINE.

CLI.—Sir W—TK—N L—W—S.

[51]

‘"I have kepte my Sabbathes in potte houſes to a ſcurvie tune, if theſe varlette Citizens, whom I have ſo nightlie drenched, do turne their ungrateful tailes upon me, now that my Welch ale is upon the lees!—But I will hie me to the lordlie ruler of our iſle, and aſke of him, whom I have followed through thicke and thinne, whether my deſerts do entitle me to no better fate than to be turned up like a worn-out gander, to ſtarve upon a common!"’

PAGE 73.—Not GENUINE.

CLII.—C—ſs of CH—M—D—Y.

[52]
"Come, cheerilie, ſweete Madam, ſtill I ſaie!
"Theſe truante Lordes of ours will have their bente
"Though we our ſwelling hartes do ſigh to attomes!
"'Tis not weake woman's praiers, nor teares will turn [...]
"The looſe, and [...]ot courſe of him ſhe loves,
"Nor breake, alas! the Circe ſpelles of thoſe
"Who doe by blandiſhments libidinous
"Entice the better parte of us away!"
PAGE 22.—GENUINE.

THIRTY-SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[53]

CLIII.—Sir JOHN H—PSL—Y.

‘—"The nurſe who firſt proclaimed my goodlie noſe muſt have predicted unwiſelie, for it has led me on a wrong ſcent from it's nativitie to the preſent daie! If men's wives did marvelle in admiration of it in my youthe, their witleſſe Lordes were ſett upon their guard by this precurſor of my approach! and now 't is dwindled to a gibeing ſtocke for the honourable Virginnes of the Courte to giggle at!—Since I have commenced Courtlie Sir, our witcrackers have cudgelled me with mine own weapons; nay the holie Pontiffe's bleſſing has availed me nought in the honours it procured, for my conſtituents have laughed this bloodie hand to ſcorne, becauſe, forſoothe, they found it not bleede freelie!"’

PAGE 63.—Not GENUINE.

CLIV.—Lady H—G—ST—N.

[54]
"Praie thee, offende mine acheing eare no more
"With ſillie praiſes of a rural Springe;
"Painte not to me her milke-maides ruddie cheekes,
"Her bleating flockes—or birdes that tuneleſſe ſing:
"From theſe my better fate, quick let me flie
"Into the flattering hauntes of polliſhed men,
"Where gailie bloome our ſexe's deare delightes,
"Which, oft as pluckt, doe inſtant budde anewe!"
PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CLV.—Duke of Q—SB—Y.

[55]

‘"That can be no other than the Compte Falſteinberg, who ſtill wears the gaie doublette of youthe, for having wreſtled ſo long with Gaffer Time without a falle! He hath ſo beſhattered the optical nerve of his nether eye, by gazing beautie from it's countenance, that it latelie went out like a ſmall lighte in a ſtrong winde!—Nowe puts he more confidence in Women, and but little in Princes, thinking hereby to leade a life that is uprighte, and Chriſtian-like! Although inſirmities manifolde do beſette him, the milke of human kindneſſe flows ſo rounde his weather-beaten harte, that when the ballance of his frail account is ſtrucke, his follies ſhall weigh but as a feather, light againſt him!"’

PAGE 34.—GENUINE.

CLVI.—Mrs. M. A. T—YL—R.

[56]
"In holie bandes no ſooner was ſhe trothed,
"Than the gaie flattering worlde did buzze around
"Her matchleſs ſhape in adoration wilde!
"Men ſwore her pictured ſemblance ill diſplaied
"The peering beauties of her lovelie forme;
"—That Nature robed in ſuch divinitie
"No mimicke artifice could ever trace!
"Theſe tales with calme indifference ſhe heard,
"Nor deign'd to give one ſofte approving glance
"For all this prodigalitie of praiſe!
"Thus mightie prov'd ROWENA's wedded love,
"To guarde the honour of her littel Lorde!"
PAGE 243.—GENUINE.

THIRTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.

[57]

CLVII.—The P— of —.

"If I'm apparent heire to ſov'raigne power,
"Why not my lordlie wille ride paramounte
"O'er all the narrowe limmittes of men's mindes?
"Oweing to nought obedience, who, like me,
"Can woman's ſhiftinge weakneſſes controule—
"To fonde allegiance bende her yielding harte,
"In adoration, or in feare?—From her
"Let tribute firſt in love be dulie paide,
"A fruitful homage nexte, in ſighes, and teares!"
PAGE 1.—Not GENUINE.

CLVIII.—Mrs. ST—T.

[58]

‘"Goe, Gertrude, and informe my Lorde the Kynge's Chiefe Juſtice, that though a weake, and ſillie woman, I doe defie the power of his denunciations legal!—Tell him to boote, that, malgre his bar-points, I muſt have nightlie a cocke on my carde, though I do pennance for it by forfeiture of goodes, and chattalles! If his Lordſhip dothe ſaie trulie that I have loſt the ſenſe of ſhame, I can looke for it through any wooden * telleſcope in the face of the worlde, without further expenditure of bluſhinge!"’

PAGE 31.—GENUINE.

CLIX.—Admiral Sir A— G—RD—R.

[59]
—"Avaſt, all handes!—I had rather repaſſe the fire of the enemie's line, than be thus run athwart hauſer by thoſe land-lubbers in the choppes of the channelle!—A longe watche in ſo ſhort a ſea, belikes me not! After bluffinge it to windwarde fifteen daies, on the 13th P. M. we came to rough anchorage in the ſtraites of Convente-Gardenne, where we might have rode out the remainder of the gale; but ſeeing the COMMODORE rowe his jollie boate ſo right a heade, we douſed our top-gallant ſail to him, and finding ourſelves drifting hard upon the black buoy on the flattes, piped all handes, to cutte and run!"
PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

CLX.—Lady M—N—RS.

[60]
"Why ſeeke ye, Sirs, the milde Rowena here?
"With the firſte ſmile of opening morne ſhe 'peared,
"And hied her forthe to viſitte Dian's temple!
"There forms ſhe wreathes of flowrettes chaſtelie culled
"From flowinge numbers of her plaintive muſe,
"Sweetlie to decke faire Fancie's hallowed ſhrine!"
PAGE 234.—GENUINE.

THIRTY-NINTH DAY's TRIAL.

[61]

CLXI.—Earl of C—V—Y.

‘—"I doe ſtill prefer the rogueiſh twinkeling of an hazel eye, to any other conſtellation; and yet the ſpiteful jades reporte I am grown olde, and ebbing faſte to dotage! Marry but it likes me not to fall into the vale of yeares, becauſe poſſeſſion there is at the will of another Lorde, and deathe the fine certain for the fee-ſimple of a ſinful life!—Were I not to encounter in the other worlde, wives, and doxies who have paid the debt of nature's frailties half a centurie before me, I might not heede this journieing hence; but to be clapper-clawed bothe here, and hereafter, is a pennance too harde for any mortal ſinning!"’

PAGE 49.—GENUINE.

CLXII.—Miſs SN—W.

[62]

‘"That faire embodied maſſe is one of the mountain Appenines, for ever capt with Snowe! Whene'er the Sunne dothe woo her with his ſmiles right luſtilie, charmed with his warme embrace, ſhe melting yieldes unto his wille, and then poures forthe a genial current to the worlde belowe!"’

PAGE 86.—Not GENUINE.

CLXIII.—Mr. BR—D—L.

[63]

‘"I knewe that whimſical Sir Hugo well, who waged knighte-errantrie againſt his own ſweete peace! In a ſunne-ſhinie day, one might ſee him, like an arrant ſchoole-boy, making duckes and drakes with the fleetinge comfortes of human life! At other times would he ſtand ſlip-ſhod at his lattice, to kicke the pureſt bleſſinges from his threſholde! With ſo unreaſonable an eare for muſique was he born, that he would forſake all the harmonies of his owne houſholde, only to carry the cracked lute of a lewd minſtrel, from Padua to Verona!"’

PAGE 39.—GENUINE.

CLXIV.—Lady ANN L—MB—N.

[64]

‘—"Lowe on my bended knees I praie you pauſe, And viewe the dreadful precipice you neare With ſteppes unhallowed! Quick'ie tread them back, And Time oblivious ſoone ſhall raze them out. No longer let the proude, and parent ſoure Attainte the leſſer veſſels of your bloode, To pour diſhonour foule on all our race!"’

PAGE 104.—GENUINE.

FORTIETH DAY's TRIAL.

[65]

CLXV.—Sir G. P. T—R.

‘"Which meddling Sir among you, can fathome the minde of a greate man by the ſhallowneſſe of his everie daie underſtanding?—As to mine own ſelfe, let my deedes challenge their paramount deſertes: am I not political, comical, ſcientifical, pragmatical, naie perchance poetical, according to the quarterly variations of St. Dunſtan's chimes?—In the Senate, I doe ſpeake marvellouſſie without booke; and, returning home, can, upon a pinche, threade a needle for a faire ſempſtreſſe, though I doe pricke my littel finger in the atchievemente!—In a worde, I emploie the paſſing houres more in wiſdom and ſound diſcretion, than any other of our motlie Squires to be met with in Salamanca!"’

PAGE 24.—GENUINE.

CLXVI.—Counteſs of G—F—D.

[66]

‘"Come, come, Blanche, on the worlde let us ſette its proper value!—'tis this ſame wealthe dothe yielde to us women, all that our little hartes ſo ſobbe, and ſighe for. Marry, I tell thee, Girl, that monie is a matche as well as miſchiefe-maker; for though it ſett half mankind at loggerheades, it ſweetlie bindes the better parte in golden-bondage!—Had my Lorde been even blinde to my attractions perſonal, (which Heaven forbade), he had witte enough at will to ſpie endowments in me, which outlive the ſhort heighos of a bridal honie-moone!"’

PAGE 186.—Not GENUINE.

CLXVII.—Lord D—L—V—L.

[67]

‘"A plague on theſe female muſquitoes!—why do they keep buzzing about the fraile parte of man, after he is paſte flie-blowing?—The jades know my weakneſſe, and practiſe laſciviouſlie upon it: and yet the lees of life are ſweetened only by their cajoleries!—Men, it ſeems, have different taſtes and palates; for mine own parte, I am for plaine ſauce to my pickled gurnette! give me but a fine wenche and a fiddle, and conſign all the witchinge whoredoms of BABYLON to my Lordes the Bench of B—S!"’

PAGE 77.—GENUINE.

CLXVIII.—Miſs K—P—L.

[68]
"How it has chanced, that loftie Areſtine
"Her colde and virgin courſe ſo long hath helde,
"None truly can deviſe. With airie pride
"Her wilde and light-hued treſſes ſtill do flowe
"In plaieful luxurie adown her necke,
"Enticing everie eye to wanton thither!
"Surelie a creature formed and featured thus,
"Should be enforced to leave the common-weale
"Some little ſemblance of her lovelie ſelfe!
"Yet is her harte ſo icicled around,
"That not the woomg breathe of all her ſlaves
"Can thawe one frozen ſighe, or grace her cheeke
"With one ſoft ſmile which Love might call his owne!"
PAGE 20.—GENUINE.

FORTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.

[69]

CLXIX.—Biſhop of B—R.

‘—"Pſhawe! my good Lorde of Canterburie! nowe are you grown more meeke, than trulie ſapient. If, for a little manual batterie in defence of our Holie Churche, they be ſuffered to aſſault me legallie—'tis well!—By St. Paule, I ſtretched out mine arme of fleſhe but to ſubdue the wratheful ſpirit of the ſinful man. In veritie he did refuſe ſalvation in mine own way, that I might humble him to the grounde, and thus from eternal bondage ſave him! Should they ſtill ſquib their pop-gun quidlibets at niſi prius—appealing to our Alma Mater, I muſt bring her Cannon Lawe in my defence:—nay, and they more enchafe my mitred browes, malgre my wife's ſalt teares, by the maſſe, as Abbotte of BANGOR, but I will lay right luſtilie about me!"’

PAGE 100.—GENUINE.

CLXX.—Lady W—L—GH—Y of E—BY.

[70]
"Sir, as in infant honours you are dreſſed,
"And that by mine owne hande, I pray you keepe
"Your name, and new-coined title, far aloofe
"From my long-blazoned fame!—Goe, proudlie ga [...]
"Upon your unſoiled pattente, cheaplie earned,
"And leave to me, your dignifieing wife,
"The thornie traverſes to higher grandeurl
"Mine be the politie to move between
"The love and hatred of a royal pair,
"And manage well their courtlie diſcontents.—
"With theſe, I charge you, intermeddle not,
"Leſt I, who out of nothinge made a Lorde,
"His Lordſhippe may annihilate againe!"
PAGE 34.—Not GENUINE.

CLXXI.—Sir G—DF—Y W—R.

[71]

‘—"And you ſhould ſee Sir Godbolde's pette Ewe paſſe the mountaine, doe his Worſhippe a goode turne, honeſt ſhepherde, and make reporte of her right ſpeedilie!—The poore Knight hathe lamentablie loſt in her, four quarters of as prettie muttone as ever ſheepiſhlie looked tuppe i' th' face!—We doe marvel what the murrain could aile her, unleſs ſhe was ſtricken with the gad-flie, and argyle on our Southerne Downes, could not decentlie contain herſelf!—Marry, I doe fear at beſt ſhe will return to us too full of unlawful lambe, to be fit foode for any but FOXES to devoure!"’

PAGE 20.—GENUINE.

CLXXII.—Hon. Miſs R—.

[72]
"Where hides the fell deſpoiler now his heade,
"On which the laurelles of licentious love
"Too longe have bloomed?—Baſe counterfeite of man,
"Saie, could thy luring harte no warfare wage
"But 'gainſt the virginne weakneſſe of our ſexe?
"Falſe to thy vowes in earlie wedlocke made,
"What from thy ripen'd perjuries could growe
"But blighted fruite our penitence to feede!
"Goe, monſter, baſelie deſtined to transforme
"A maiden's ſighs to imprecations wilde;
"Thy hauntes her ceaſeleſs curſes ſhall pervade,
"To tell thee what to villainy ſhe owes!"
PAGE 11.—Not GENUINE.

FORTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.

[73]

CLXXIII.—Earl of ER—L.

‘"As you are more ſharpe-witted than myſelfe, I do ſubſcribe moſt voluntarilie to your opinion:—ſo thus it ſimplie ſtandes:—‘'by foregoing my title, I am the more entitled to be a Gentleman than when I was a Lorde;'’—for ſay you trulie, that Gentlemen were made ere Lordes were created, or begotten; ergo, Lordſhips were fabricated but to make new-fangled Gentrie, which we, of original ſtocke, ſtand not in neede of. In veritie then it is a problem moſt cleare, that I do think it long till I am beridden of my Lordlie title, and become the prettie kinde of Gentleman that you do devoutlie wiſh to ſee me!"’

PAGE 113.—Not GENUINE.

CLXXIV.—Lady A—KL—D.

[74]
"Goe,—from Aſterna's perfect model forme
"Your patterned mothers to adorne the lande!
"By travaile oft endured, and hopes renewed,
"Her duties are ſo graven on her harte,
"That no alluring blandiſhments of Courtes
"From her parental courſe can now ſeduce her!"
PAGE 22.—GENUINE.

CLXXV.—Rev. Dr. R—ND—PH.

[75]

‘—"Looke ye, Sirs! as a man of holie life and converſation, I doe expecte to be entreated with all prieſtlie reverence!—I'll take the ſinnes of no fraile fleſhe in chriſtendom more than what I bear alreadie.—I delivered the pacquet royalle with my own handes, and ſawe it booked, ‘'by the whole dutie of manne!'’—Touchinge the Golden Coinage of our Sov'rain Liege, I know nought—for by the maſſe if it did journie with me it chinked not! That I placed this pacquet in the right roade to ſalvation, is true as lighte! let thoſe who did pervert it to purpoſes of darkneſs therefore be reſponſible.—If the worlde, putting ‘'faithe in my goode workes,'’ do believe me, ‘'well!'’—if not, I pleade my benefitte of Clergy!"’

PAGE 12.—GENUINE.

CLXXVI.—M—n—ſs of ST—F—D.

[76]
"Oh, ſhe that bare her did I knowe right well!—
"When deſtined to depart our happie iſle,
"In teares ſhe left it for a foreigne ſhore,
"Though on its beache a princelie lover ſtoode!
"Harde now, that fate ſhould blightinglie purſue
"Her faireſt offspringe, hither driven o'er
"To cull upon her mother's native ſoile
"Some of thoſe bleſſinges which ſhe lefte behind!
"Boldlie I'll ſtand beſide her innocence,
"Though all the browes of power doe frown upon me!"
PAGE 34.—GENUINE

FORTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.

[77]

CLXXVII.—Marquis of B—TH.

‘"Slave! bring me another ſtoope of Canarie, and then leave me to my lucubrations!—In taking offe all my bon companions, Dame Fate hathe rather run me harde; for nowe am I doom'd, bottle after bottle, to recount my loſs of thoſe who popped off before me, like decayed corkes from wine upon the frette!—So here inceſſantlie ſit I, to drink a requiem to their jollie ſoules!"’

PAGE 13.—GENUINE.

CLXXVIII.—Hon. Mrs. B—V—RIE.

[78]

‘—"Oh! ſhe hathe an unconquerable ſpirit in matters of public concerne; and ſo zealous for the well doinge of the common weale, that ſhe kicked her tailor down ſtaires, onlie, forſoothe, becauſe he had made a coſtlie robe of ſtate for the Queene's Majeſtie, when ſhe looked to be ſole Regent of the People!"’

PAGE 103.—Not GENUINE.

CLXXIX.—Duke of M—NCH—R.

[79]

‘"I viewed him on the margin of the Thames, plyeing a pair of oares, as if he had to earn a ſcantie livelihoode by buffeting the foamie tide!—Whether his Grace will thus bequalifie himſelf the better for affaires of ſtate, I wotte not; but, certes, he muſt be well prepared for the worſte of times; becauſe, by the dexterous uſe of his ſcull, he maie contrive at leaſt to keepe his owne heade above the water!"’

PAGE 72.—Not GENUINE.

CLXXX.—Princeſs S—PH—A of GL—R.

[80]
—"Well might one envie thoſe
"Within the confine of ſome lowlie vale,
"Who paſſe their fleeting lives as nature willes,
"In all the purities of faithful love!
"My ſickening harte for theſe would gladlie yielde
"The titled trappinges which ſo much diſguiſe
"Whate'er ſimplicitie maie challenge in me!"
PAGE 206.—GENUINE.

FORTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.

[81]

CLXXXI.—Sir WILLIAM G—RY.

‘—"To the SULTAN's prime Mufti am I indebitted for mine election, who deigned to chooſe me publicke ſpendthrifte of mine own privie purſe for the benefitte of the State! The nexte honour I do looke for, is a permiſſion, under his Highneſs's hande and ſeale, to builde an hoſpitalle for courtlie lunatiques, and to be named ſole Governor thereof myſelfe, at ſpecial times, whene'er the moone be at her fulle!"’

PAGE 54—GENUINE [...]

CLXXXII.—Hon. Mrs. N—TH.

[82]

‘—"Oh! there is a giddie worme within this unſubdued fleſhe of mine, that will not die, and which neither travel e, nor the arte ſpiritualle of my mitred LORDE can ever ſette at reſte!"’

PAGE 16.—Not GENUINE.

CLXXXIII.—Hon. Capt. GEORGE B—KL—Y.

[83]

‘"The faulte muſt lie at his own doore, if a warfareing man be not accounted valorous in the world's weake judgement at the leaſt!—Why hathe he the gifte of tongue, but to promulgate deedes, which did not reach the eyes of ordinarie obſervers?—Marry, to make Fame's records ſurer on your ſide, call forthe the Limner's arte, which dothe bepaint right luſtilie beyond the life, and he will ſo beblazon fiction's feates to aftertimes, that they ſhall long ſurvive the ſhort-lived valoure of your fighting Sirs!"—’

PAGE 10.—Not GENUINE.

CLXXXIV.—Ducheſs of N—TH—B—D.

[84]
"Well maie Northumbria's race in ſoothe be proud [...]
"Of this puiſſante partner of their Chiefe!
"Whate'er in mortal dignitie there be,
"Sans queſtion it adornes her lovelie browe,
"Beſuiting well the diadem ſhe weares.
"But high o'er this ſo gracefullie doe peere
"The ſimpler virtues of domeſtique life,
"That ſoone the titled eminence is loſte
"In admiration of the fairer WOMAN!"—
PAGE 49.—GENUINE.

FORTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.

[85]

CLXXXV.—Earl of L—SD—LE.

‘—"That is the manne to my thinking on the ſcore of valour perſonal, who can fighte with all heaven's creatures more heartilie than feede them!—Such an one is conſtrained to delve into the hungrie bowels of the laude, in ſearche of wealthe he lacketh not; thus procreating convulſions under grounde, and making her people with their mother earthe to quake!—Of ſuch almightie men, Marvino, they now-a-daies doe moulde their Lordes, ſo that their conſtitution politique be not ſapped by more deſperate underminers!"’

PAGE 27.—Not GENUINE.

CLXXXVI.—Mrs. M. A. T—YL—R.
[Her Second SUFFRAGE.]

[86]
—"A truce, I praie thee, Blanche,
"To all the dulcet flatterie of thy tongue!
"If in the viſion of my dapper Lorde
"So prominent my beautie dothe appeare,
"Bid him no more unaptlie note it downe
"Upon the chilling canvas of an arte,
"But conjugallie give from Nature's touche,
"More glowinge copies of my lovelie ſelfe,
"Though they be framed in little!"—
PAGE 34.—GENUINE.

CLXXXVII.—Lord M—LMS—Y.

[87]

‘—"Oh, Sir, their choice did well devolve on him, ſo artfullie ordained to nibble things aſunder!—Marked you not, in Regencies of yore, how well he did eſſay to gnawe the ligatures in twaine, which had ſo long upheld the canopie o' the State?—Who then ſo fitte to trie his ſkilfulle toothe upon the newer cordage that dothe more ſlightlie binde the deſtinies of France!—Truſt to 't, the deede he 'll doe, if that his ratteiſh noſe be not enſnared within the freſh-filed trappe of thier new republique!"’

PAGE 108.—Not GENUINE.

CLXXXVIII.—Miſs ST—RT.

[88]
"Though elder borne of her that gave me life,
"Her vaine propenſities I ne'er did ſhare!
"Soone as the midnight orgies of our houſe,
"With all the revelries of luſtfulle plaie
"Doe'gin their baneful courſe, with traverſe ſlowe
"Within my chambered privacie I hie,
"And there corporeallie obtaine repoſe,
"Awhile my painful and affrighted minde
"Dothe dreame of all the wicked worlde belowe."
PAGE 12.—Not GENUINE.

FORTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.

[89]

CLXXXIX.—Sir WM. P—LT—Y.

‘—"Naie, and what of that?—If manne be borne of earthlie minde, let him be forthwith nominated Purveyor-General in peccadilloe of that duſte, to which worm-like he muſt returne;—I knewe me ſuch an one, the ſtrange inhabitant of a venerable dwellinge, who did eſcape taxation of all windowe lattices, by contenting himſelfe with the ſimple luminations of his owne braine!—there ſatre he, time out of patience, exorbitantlie meaſuring forth to needie trowel-menne, his owne ſoile by the inch ſquare!—thus he grewe abundant in his wealthe, until the maine beames of his manſion did becracke with the ſterling weighte of golde, incontinentlie piled up!"’

PAGE 63.—Not GENUINE.

CXC.—Madame S—W—L—GH.

[90]

‘"Mine Got! but dey doe belie his royalle youthe moſt marvelouſlie!—By mine trute, but he be growne both a ſveete, and a goote P [...]ince! Vhy—in his grace he now be ſo font of me, that he dothe wiſitre de bedde in mine affliction, and plaie with efferie littel haire upon mine cheeke!—then he dothe talke of mine ducattes ſo kindlie, az eef dey ve [...] his owne!—naie, I doe beliefe dat he vould kindl [...]e take dem into his own royalle keepinge, for de comforte of mine old age!—Oh! he be de ſveeieſt, and de viſeſt Prince that ever did ſpring from the Royalle ſtocke of Yarmanny!"’

PAGE 37.—GENUINE.

CXCI.—Alderman C—MBE.

[91]

‘—"Sir, I tell you, though I am a brewer of browne ſtoute, theſe civique honours ſitte not lightlie on my ſhoulders. True it is, that I have raiſed myſelfe, from a man o' the Common Liverie, to be a chiefe o'er Common Counſellors i' the Eaſte, while my companions i' the Weſt did declare unto me, that 'robes and fuired gownes hide all!' Marry, Sir, if that were ſo, the Cittes had not eſpied the ſhaking of my elbowe beneath an Aldermanique gabardine!—I tell you once againe, theſe civique honours ſitte not light upon me!"’

PAGE 28.—GENUINE.

CXCII.—Lady H— S—YM—R.

[92]
"Who ſawe ROWENA in her maiden ſtate,
"When all the beauties of a modeſt minde
"Began to peere, and innocentlie blende
"Their tintes with thoſe, which decked her lillie cheeke?
"So ſtill ſhe keepes her captivating ſtores,
"Though on a lovelie race ſhe hathe beſtowed
"Unnumbered graces from her parent ſtocke!"
PAGE 14.—GENUINE.

FORTY-SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.

[93]

CXCIII.—Biſhop W—TS—N.

‘—"Suppoſe that he be an ABBOTTE cloathed in prieſtehoode, he will prove no worme-eaten buttraſſe to our Mother Churche on this ſide the grave, or I have miſta'en his Reverence hugelie! Whilſt his bretheren in the houre of jeopardie did turn their mitres into night-cappes, from their meeke propenſitie to dozeing, he beſtirred luſtilie in his vocation, and ſtoode him forthe the true defender of our Chriſtianne faithe!—Hence is yclep'd the holie Al-hymiſte, becauſe he dothe extracte for men's mindes, the puritie of earthlie comforte from the cruſcible of his owne benevolence!"’

PAGE 55.—GENUINE.

CXCIV.—Lord C—M—LF—D.

[94]

‘—"Avaſte, my brinie meſſemates!—if you thwa [...]e, and turn him blufflie noſe to tide, the ſpraye of his wrathe will ſouſe ſome of you ſore and afte, I tell ye!—Only eaſe him, d'ye ſee, a point or two from the winde, and you 'll ride ſafelie with him through the rougheſt weather!—Neither your Courtes nor crownettes, bilboes nor baſtinadoes, can warpe him from ſait water, which he delights in like a wild-ducke!—He met the Algerine but t'other day, who gave him ſo ſhort an allowance of comfort on board his corſair!—my limbs! but he rubbed out the old ſcore with his rattan upon his Barbary ſhoulders, till the Sea-calfe roared out for mereie he had never [...]ew [...]!—The younker is a pickled fiſh, that's certain—but a goode office goes with him through life, while a dirtie one never ſlippe, his reckoninge!"’

PAGE 27.—GENUINE.

CXCV.—Miſs M—L—S.

[95]
"If I could truſte his Grace's melting eyes
"Which doe ſo buſilie befellowe mine,
"I might th [...] [...]onde interrogating harte
"Now ſette a [...] [...], and ſweete aſſurance give
"That it hathe ſealed its ſov'raigne hope!—Whate'er
"The fraile accompliſhments I boaſte,
"Theſe let me [...] the beſt of boones,
"In fondeſt w [...] [...]at they may treaſure up
"The nuptial bleſtinge thus ſo proud [...]ie won!"
PAGE 22.—GENUINE.

CXCVI.—Lord R—LLE.

[96]

‘—"Certes, SIRE, a man may plaie the foole in lowe life in order to his exaltation; but having attained a Lordſhippe paramount, he cannot continue to execute the humble things that appertain themſelves to ſimple common-hoode!—True it is, my LIEGE, that our vaſſalage of DEVONNE have ſwerved from their betrothed allegiance to the Ruler of your State. Deign you to aſke, why I, with all my mighte and zeale, did not prevent it?—my anſwer, SIRE, is ſhortlie this: I could have diſperſed the ſturdie knaves with the bare breathe of my lordlie noſtrils, though they had ſwarmed like pilchardes on our coaſte; but ſince it did bepleaſe your Highneſſe to ſhape from me a PEER of Brittaine's realme—marry I've other fiſhe to frie!"’

PAGE 12.—GENUINE.

FORTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.

[97]

CXCVII.—Lady ELIZ. L—T—L.

‘"What an Iriſhe howle is here ſette up, about the departure of a paltrie rouleau of light guineas, for which I gave a draughte upon my monie-holder's banke, for value not received!—A Bill of Plai [...], not being ſtamped for honourable purpoſe, ought not, by legalle cuſtom of exchange, to be dulie honoured; therefore did I counter-cheque my order, which, in the weakneſſe of womanhoode, I had iſſued; and for this onlie hathe my ſaire fame been ſcandalouſlie beſlurred throughout the capital!—But if I have not ample veng [...]ance on that dealer in odde trickes, may I never ſette cocke upon a carde againe!"’

PAGE 321.—GENUINE.

CXCVIII.—Mr. T—RN—Y.

[98]

‘—"Canvaſſe me the voters wives of Southwarke, for I muſt batter the huſtinges once more with the cuckoldie heades of their Lordes and Maſters!—Since no lawe, dead or living, can denominate this a treate, kiſſe me alſo their ſpinſter daughters throughout the Mint, being heedful that the huſſies do not warmlie paie you back in your own coine!—Having ſtayed the trencher worke of my opponent, perchance I may the electors ſtarve into a juſt opinion of mine own deſert.—I have told them roundlie, that a freed-man muſt come to the polle with an emptie ſtomach, to preſerve a ſounde conſtitution, and that he can ſwallowe nought but my wordes without a deep tranſgreſſion of the ſtatute lawe:—if this avail me not, there will be no trappinge the warie knaves, either full, or faſtinge!"’

PAGE 123.—GENUINE.

CXCIX.—Hon. Miſs H—Y.

[99]

‘—"By my knighthoode but ſhe is a comlie laſſe! and ſo expert a miſtreſſe in the arte of ſignalles, that ſhe can make you a mirrour of her own 'kerchiefe, and, by the quickneſſe of her eye, reade its reflected anſwers from one ſtreete's end to the other. In good ſoothe, this faire dame is in a faire way to be marvelouſlie ſignalized!"’

PAGE 73.—Not GENUINE.

CC.—Mr. W—LB—F—CE.

[100]

‘"Mark me nowe, Honourable Sirs! although manne's conſcience be enſlaved, may not his bodie ſtill be free, and active to the warie purports of his minde!—For mine own parte, I had, in Chriſtianne veritie, an earlie calle unto the humbler pathes of grace;—whate'er the proffitte of it be in this vaine worlde, I take it as a foretaſte of my future recompence in that which is to come!—Nay, and it be our ſacred privilege, goode Senators, to trafficke in pietie, we muſt be allowed to barter the ſuperfluxe of ſpiritual concerns, to inſure our own political ſalvation!"’

PAGE 37.—Not GENUINE.

FORTY-NINTH DAY's TRIAL.

[101]

CCI.—Lady S—MP—N.

‘—"If ſhe be an old Puſs too proude and ſtatelie to catch a mouſe i' the barne, ſhe were as well, for the quiet of the houſe, to be without her clawes!—A murrain ſeize your tabbie CATTES, ſay I!—what a ſpittinge and meweinge doe they ſette up, to make the brawlinges of a high winde more hideous! Woe betide the reſtleſs tenants of that rooſe, o'er the pann-tiles of which theſe whiſkered wizzardes doe rantipole it ſo ſhrewiſhlie!"’

PAGE 10.—GENUINE.

CCII.—Mr. C. ATK—N.

[102]

‘—"Bleſſe the poore manne's odde wittes, that will never let his heade reſte but in ſtations too exalted! Here have they thruſte it once more into our Senate Houſe, where the wagges doe throwe their jokes and jibes more cuttinglie about them, that your poulterers wives their filthie egges at Martin-maſſe!"’

PAGE 57.—GENUINE

CCIII—Ald—n P—CK—T.

[103]

‘—"When they did expunge thoſe emptie heades from off the frontler of our Citie's gate, mine own was ſette thereon, and did moſt wittinglie deviſe how to diſmantle our Temple's barre to pub [...]ique inter curſion. It doth ſeeme, to builde a civique fame, one muſt be conſtrained to pull you down the ſtouter workes of antient men!—But the minde, my maſters, muſt be kept in concuſſion, or the braine of an ordinarie citizen would ſoon curdle over, like greene duck-weede on a gardenne ponde!"’

PAGE 1.—GENUINE.

CCIV.—Lady H—THC—TE.

[104]
—"Oh ſhe dothe ſweetlie bende
"The mirthfulle gaieties of poliſhed life
"Unto the meede of Chriſtian charitie!
"Marke where ſhe leades the rural maſque, or balle,
"And viewe her faire companions i' the ſcene;
"Though riche incharmes, in ſimple veſtes they're cladde,
"Wrought all by ſpinſters' handes in hamlettes rounde!
"'Tis thus that mirthe and innocence doe twine
"Their ſtaple virtues to adorne the minde!"
PAGE 37.—GENUINE.
END OF VOL II.

Appendix A

S. Gosnell, Printer, Little Queen Street.

Notes
*
Dr. PARR, whom the fortunate Mr. IRELAND has named EDITOR elect, for this unique Comi-Tragedy, threw down his pipe, when he came to this miſerably begotten PEN, and owned himſelf for the moment, a DISSENTER from the new SHAKSPEREAN faith!
*
"Painted paſte-boards"—"Courtlie paper."—Mr. CAPEL LOFT, confeſſedly one of our moſt old-faſhioned Critics on the immortal Bard, ſays decidedly, ‘"that theſe two paſſages allude to the new art of gambling with CARDS, which crept into BRITAIN at that period."’—We are apprehenſive, however, that the learned Commentator has here been guilty of a little anachroniſm, as CARDS were certainly invented in the year 1390, to divert the melancholy of CHARLES VI. then King of France.
*
"Painted paſte-boards"—"Courtlie paper."—Mr. CAPEL LOFT, confeſſedly one of our moſt old-faſhioned Critics on the immortal Bard, ſays decidedly, ‘"that theſe two paſſages allude to the new art of gambling with CARDS, which crept into BRITAIN at that period."’—We are apprehenſive, however, that the learned Commentator has here been guilty of a little anachroniſm, as CARDS were certainly invented in the year 1390, to divert the melancholy of CHARLES VI. then King of France.
*
If we may credit Mr. IRELAND, his Coufin SHAKSPEARE took an averſion to Shoemakers, and therefore he lets fly this ſarcaſtic arrow at the CIVIC MOTE of CORDWAINERS!
*
Mr. STEEVENS ſays, this was an inſtrument called by the Saxons a Pillorie; intended both for corporeal puniſhment, and mental ſhame.
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