Scene 1
Enter Leonato , his brother , Hero his daughter , and
Beatrice his niece , with Ursula and Margaret .
LEONATO
Was not Count John here at supper ?
LEONATO’S BROTHER
I saw him not .
BEATRICE
How tartly that gentleman looks ! I never
can see him but I am heartburned an hour after .
HERO
He is of a very melancholy disposition .
BEATRICE
He were an excellent man that were made
just in the midway between him and Benedick . The
one is too like an image and says nothing , and the
other too like my lady’s eldest son , evermore
tattling .
LEONATO
Then half Signior Benedick’s tongue in
Count John’s mouth , and half Count John’s melancholy
in Signior Benedick’s face —
BEATRICE
With a good leg and a good foot , uncle , and
money enough in his purse , such a man would win
any woman in the world if he could get her
goodwill .
LEONATO
By my troth , niece , thou wilt never get thee a
husband if thou be so shrewd of thy tongue .
LEONATO’S BROTHER
In faith , she’s too curst .
BEATRICE
Too curst is more than curst . I shall lessen
God’s sending that way , for it is said ‘God sends a
[39] ACT 2. SC. 1 curst cow short horns ,’ but to a cow too curst , he
sends none .
LEONATO
So , by being too curst , God will send you no
horns .
BEATRICE
Just , if He send me no husband , for the
which blessing I am at Him upon my knees every
morning and evening . Lord , I could not endure a
husband with a beard on his face . I had rather lie in
the woolen !
LEONATO
You may light on a husband that hath no
beard .
BEATRICE
What should I do with him ? Dress him in my
apparel and make him my waiting gentlewoman ?
He that hath a beard is more than a youth , and he
that hath no beard is less than a man ; and he that is
more than a youth is not for me , and he that is less
than a man , I am not for him . Therefore I will even
take sixpence in earnest of the bearherd , and lead
his apes into hell .
LEONATO
Well then , go you into hell ?
BEATRICE
No , but to the gate , and there will the devil
meet me like an old cuckold with horns on his
head , and say ‘Get you to heaven , Beatrice , get you
to heaven ; here’s no place for you maids .’ So deliver
I up my apes and away to Saint Peter ; for the
heavens , he shows me where the bachelors sit , and
there live we as merry as the day is long .
LEONATO’S BROTHER
, to Hero
Well , niece , I trust you
will be ruled by your father .
BEATRICE
Yes , faith , it is my cousin’s duty to make
curtsy and say ‘Father , as it please you .’ But yet for
all that , cousin , let him be a handsome fellow , or
else make another curtsy and say ‘Father , as it
please me .’
LEONATO
Well , niece , I hope to see you one day fitted
with a husband .
[41]ACT 2. SC. 1
BEATRICE
Not till God make men of some other metal
than earth . Would it not grieve a woman to be
overmastered with a piece of valiant dust ? To make
an account of her life to a clod of wayward marl ?
No , uncle , I’ll none . Adam’s sons are my brethren ,
and truly I hold it a sin to match in my kindred .
LEONATO
, to Hero
Daughter , remember what I told
you . If the Prince do solicit you in that kind , you
know your answer .
BEATRICE
The fault will be in the music , cousin , if you
be not wooed in good time . If the Prince be too
important , tell him there is measure in everything ,
and so dance out the answer . For hear me , Hero ,
wooing , wedding , and repenting is as a Scotch jig , a
measure , and a cinquepace . The first suit is hot and
hasty like a Scotch jig , and full as fantastical ; the
wedding , mannerly modest as a measure , full of
state and ancientry ; and then comes repentance ,
and with his bad legs falls into the cinquepace faster
and faster till he sink into his grave .
LEONATO
Cousin , you apprehend passing shrewdly .
BEATRICE
I have a good eye , uncle ; I can see a church
by daylight .
LEONATO
The revelers are entering , brother . Make
good room .
Leonato and his brother step aside .
Enter , with a Drum , Prince Pedro , Claudio , and
Benedick , Signior Antonio , and Balthasar , all in
masks , with Borachio and Don John .
PRINCE
, to Hero
Lady , will you walk a bout with your
friend ?
They begin to dance .
HERO
So you walk softly , and look sweetly , and say
nothing , I am yours for the walk , and especially
when I walk away .
PRINCE
With me in your company ?
HERO
I may say so when I please .
[43]ACT 2. SC. 1
PRINCE
And when please you to say so ?
HERO
When I like your favor , for God defend the lute
should be like the case .
PRINCE
My visor is Philemon’s roof ; within the house
is Jove .
HERO
Why , then , your visor should be thatched .
PRINCE
Speak low if you speak love .
They move aside ;
Benedick and Margaret move forward .
BENEDICK
, to Margaret
Well , I would you did like me .
MARGARET
So would not I for your own sake , for I have
many ill qualities .
BENEDICK
Which is one ?
MARGARET
I say my prayers aloud .
BENEDICK
I love you the better ; the hearers may cry
‘Amen .’
MARGARET
God match me with a good dancer .
They separate ; Benedick moves aside ;
Balthasar moves forward .
BALTHASAR
Amen .
MARGARET
And God keep him out of my sight when the
dance is done . Answer , clerk .
BALTHASAR
No more words . The clerk is answered .
They move aside ;
Ursula and Antonio move forward .
URSULA
I know you well enough . You are Signior
Antonio .
ANTONIO
At a word , I am not .
URSULA
I know you by the waggling of your head .
ANTONIO
To tell you true , I counterfeit him .
URSULA
You could never do him so ill-well unless you
were the very man . Here’s his dry hand up and
down . You are he , you are he .
ANTONIO
At a word , I am not .
URSULA
Come , come , do you think I do not know you
by your excellent wit ? Can virtue hide itself ? Go to ,
[45] ACT 2. SC. 1 mum , you are he . Graces will appear , and there’s an
end .
They move aside ;
Benedick and Beatrice move forward .
BEATRICE
Will you not tell me who told you so ?
BENEDICK
No , you shall pardon me .
BEATRICE
Nor will you not tell me who you are ?
BENEDICK
Not now .
BEATRICE
That I was disdainful , and that I had my
good wit out of The Hundred Merry Tales ! Well , this
was Signior Benedick that said so .
BENEDICK
What’s he ?
BEATRICE
I am sure you know him well enough .
BENEDICK
Not I , believe me .
BEATRICE
Did he never make you laugh ?
BENEDICK
I pray you , what is he ?
BEATRICE
Why , he is the Prince’s jester , a very dull
fool ; only his gift is in devising impossible slanders .
None but libertines delight in him , and the commendation
is not in his wit but in his villainy , for he
both pleases men and angers them , and then they
laugh at him and beat him . I am sure he is in the
fleet . I would he had boarded me .
BENEDICK
When I know the gentleman , I’ll tell him
what you say .
BEATRICE
Do , do . He’ll but break a comparison or two
on me , which peradventure not marked or not
laughed at strikes him into melancholy , and then
there’s a partridge wing saved , for the fool will eat
no supper that night . Music for the dance . We must
follow the leaders .
BENEDICK
In every good thing .
BEATRICE
Nay , if they lead to any ill , I will leave them
at the next turning .
Dance .
Then exit all except
Don John , Borachio , and Claudio .
[47]ACT 2. SC. 1
DON JOHN
, to Borachio
Sure my brother is amorous
on Hero , and hath withdrawn her father to break
with him about it . The ladies follow her , and but one
visor remains .
BORACHIO
And that is Claudio . I know him by his
bearing .
DON JOHN
, to Claudio
Are not you Signior Benedick ?
CLAUDIO
You know me well . I am he .
DON JOHN
Signior , you are very near my brother in his
love . He is enamored on Hero . I pray you dissuade
him from her . She is no equal for his birth . You
may do the part of an honest man in it .
CLAUDIO
How know you he loves her ?
DON JOHN
I heard him swear his affection .
BORACHIO
So did I too , and he swore he would marry
her tonight .
DON JOHN
Come , let us to the banquet .
They exit . Claudio remains .
CLAUDIO
, unmasking
Thus answer I in name of Benedick ,
But hear these ill news with the ears of Claudio .
’Tis certain so . The Prince woos for himself .
Friendship is constant in all other things
Save in the office and affairs of love .
Therefore all hearts in love use their own tongues .
Let every eye negotiate for itself
And trust no agent , for beauty is a witch
Against whose charms faith melteth into blood .
This is an accident of hourly proof ,
Which I mistrusted not . Farewell therefore , Hero .
Enter Benedick .
BENEDICK
Count Claudio ?
CLAUDIO
Yea , the same .
BENEDICK
Come , will you go with me ?
CLAUDIO
Whither ?
[49]ACT 2. SC. 1
BENEDICK
Even to the next willow , about your own
business , county . What fashion will you wear the
garland of ? About your neck like an usurer’s chain ?
Or under your arm like a lieutenant’s scarf ? You
must wear it one way , for the Prince hath got your
Hero .
CLAUDIO
I wish him joy of her .
BENEDICK
Why , that’s spoken like an honest drover ; so
they sell bullocks . But did you think the Prince
would have served you thus ?
CLAUDIO
I pray you , leave me .
BENEDICK
Ho , now you strike like the blind man .
’Twas the boy that stole your meat , and you’ll beat
the post .
CLAUDIO
If it will not be , I’ll leave you .
He exits .
BENEDICK
Alas , poor hurt fowl , now will he creep into
sedges . But that my Lady Beatrice should know
me , and not know me ! The Prince’s fool ! Ha , it may
be I go under that title because I am merry . Yea , but
so I am apt to do myself wrong . I am not so reputed !
It is the base , though bitter , disposition of Beatrice
that puts the world into her person and so gives me
out . Well , I’ll be revenged as I may .
Enter the Prince , Hero , and Leonato .
PRINCE
Now , signior , where’s the Count ? Did you see
him ?
BENEDICK
Troth , my lord , I have played the part of
Lady Fame . I found him here as melancholy as a
lodge in a warren . I told him , and I think I told him
true , that your Grace had got the goodwill of this
young lady , and I offered him my company to a
willow tree , either to make him a garland , as being
forsaken , or to bind him up a rod , as being worthy to
be whipped .
PRINCE
To be whipped ? What’s his fault ?
[51]ACT 2. SC. 1
BENEDICK
The flat transgression of a schoolboy who ,
being overjoyed with finding a bird’s nest , shows it
his companion , and he steals it .
PRINCE
Wilt thou make a trust a transgression ? The
transgression is in the stealer .
BENEDICK
Yet it had not been amiss the rod had been
made , and the garland too , for the garland he
might have worn himself , and the rod he might
have bestowed on you , who , as I take it , have stolen
his bird’s nest .
PRINCE
I will but teach them to sing and restore them
to the owner .
BENEDICK
If their singing answer your saying , by my
faith , you say honestly .
PRINCE
The Lady Beatrice hath a quarrel to you . The
gentleman that danced with her told her she is
much wronged by you .
BENEDICK
O , she misused me past the endurance of a
block ! An oak but with one green leaf on it would
have answered her . My very visor began to assume
life and scold with her . She told me , not thinking I
had been myself , that I was the Prince’s jester , that I
was duller than a great thaw , huddling jest upon jest
with such impossible conveyance upon me that I
stood like a man at a mark with a whole army
shooting at me . She speaks poniards , and every
word stabs . If her breath were as terrible as her
terminations , there were no living near her ; she
would infect to the North Star . I would not marry
her though she were endowed with all that Adam
had left him before he transgressed . She would have
made Hercules have turned spit , yea , and have cleft
his club to make the fire , too . Come , talk not of her .
You shall find her the infernal Ate in good apparel . I
would to God some scholar would conjure her , for
certainly , while she is here , a man may live as quiet
[53] ACT 2. SC. 1 in hell as in a sanctuary , and people sin upon
purpose because they would go thither . So indeed
all disquiet , horror , and perturbation follows her .
Enter Claudio and Beatrice .
PRINCE
Look , here she comes .
BENEDICK
Will your Grace command me any service
to the world’s end ? I will go on the slightest errand
now to the Antipodes that you can devise to send
me on . I will fetch you a toothpicker now from the
furthest inch of Asia , bring you the length of Prester
John’s foot , fetch you a hair off the great Cham’s
beard , do you any embassage to the Pygmies , rather
than hold three words’ conference with this harpy .
You have no employment for me ?
PRINCE
None but to desire your good company .
BENEDICK
O God , sir , here’s a dish I love not ! I cannot
endure my Lady Tongue .
He exits .
PRINCE
, to Beatrice
Come , lady , come , you have lost
the heart of Signior Benedick .
BEATRICE
Indeed , my lord , he lent it me awhile , and I
gave him use for it , a double heart for his single
one . Marry , once before he won it of me with false
dice . Therefore your Grace may well say I have lost
it .
PRINCE
You have put him down , lady , you have put
him down .
BEATRICE
So I would not he should do me , my lord ,
lest I should prove the mother of fools . I have
brought Count Claudio , whom you sent me to seek .
PRINCE
Why , how now , count , wherefore are you sad ?
CLAUDIO
Not sad , my lord .
PRINCE
How then , sick ?
CLAUDIO
Neither , my lord .
BEATRICE
The Count is neither sad , nor sick , nor merry ,
[55] ACT 2. SC. 1 nor well , but civil count , civil as an orange , and
something of that jealous complexion .
PRINCE
I’ faith , lady , I think your blazon to be true ,
though I’ll be sworn , if he be so , his conceit is
false . — Here , Claudio , I have wooed in thy name ,
and fair Hero is won . I have broke with her father
and his goodwill obtained . Name the day of marriage ,
and God give thee joy .
LEONATO
Count , take of me my daughter , and with her
my fortunes . His Grace hath made the match , and
all grace say ‘Amen’ to it .
BEATRICE
Speak , count , ’tis your cue .
CLAUDIO
Silence is the perfectest herald of joy . I were
but little happy if I could say how much . — Lady , as
you are mine , I am yours . I give away myself for you
and dote upon the exchange .
BEATRICE
Speak , cousin , or , if you cannot , stop his
mouth with a kiss and let not him speak neither .
PRINCE
In faith , lady , you have a merry heart .
BEATRICE
Yea , my lord . I thank it , poor fool , it keeps on
the windy side of care . My cousin tells him in his ear
that he is in her heart .
CLAUDIO
And so she doth , cousin .
BEATRICE
Good Lord for alliance ! Thus goes everyone
to the world but I , and I am sunburnt . I may sit in a
corner and cry ‘Heigh-ho for a husband !’
PRINCE
Lady Beatrice , I will get you one .
BEATRICE
I would rather have one of your father’s
getting . Hath your Grace ne’er a brother like you ?
Your father got excellent husbands , if a maid could
come by them .
PRINCE
Will you have me , lady ?
BEATRICE
No , my lord , unless I might have another for
working days . Your Grace is too costly to wear
every day . But I beseech your Grace pardon me . I
was born to speak all mirth and no matter .
[57]ACT 2. SC. 1
PRINCE
Your silence most offends me , and to be merry
best becomes you , for out o’ question you were
born in a merry hour .
BEATRICE
No , sure , my lord , my mother cried , but then
there was a star danced , and under that was I
born . — Cousins , God give you joy !
LEONATO
Niece , will you look to those things I told
you of ?
BEATRICE
I cry you mercy , uncle . — By your Grace’s
pardon .
Beatrice exits .
PRINCE
By my troth , a pleasant-spirited lady .
LEONATO
There’s little of the melancholy element in
her , my lord . She is never sad but when she sleeps ,
and not ever sad then , for I have heard my daughter
say she hath often dreamt of unhappiness and
waked herself with laughing .
PRINCE
She cannot endure to hear tell of a husband .
LEONATO
O , by no means . She mocks all her wooers
out of suit .
PRINCE
She were an excellent wife for Benedick .
LEONATO
O Lord , my lord , if they were but a week
married , they would talk themselves mad .
PRINCE
County Claudio , when mean you to go to
church ?
CLAUDIO
Tomorrow , my lord . Time goes on crutches
till love have all his rites .
LEONATO
Not till Monday , my dear son , which is hence
a just sevennight , and a time too brief , too , to have
all things answer my mind .
PRINCE
, to Claudio
Come , you shake the head at so
long a breathing , but I warrant thee , Claudio , the
time shall not go dully by us . I will in the interim
undertake one of Hercules’ labors , which is to bring
Signior Benedick and the Lady Beatrice into a
mountain of affection , th’ one with th’ other . I
would fain have it a match , and I doubt not but to
[59] ACT 2. SC. 2 fashion it , if you three will but minister such
assistance as I shall give you direction .
LEONATO
My lord , I am for you , though it cost me ten
nights’ watchings .
CLAUDIO
And I , my lord .
PRINCE
And you too , gentle Hero ?
HERO
I will do any modest office , my lord , to help my
cousin to a good husband .
PRINCE
And Benedick is not the unhopefullest husband
that I know . Thus far can I praise him : he is of
a noble strain , of approved valor , and confirmed
honesty . I will teach you how to humor your
cousin that she shall fall in love with Benedick . —
And I , with your two helps , will so practice on
Benedick that , in despite of his quick wit and his
queasy stomach , he shall fall in love with Beatrice .
If we can do this , Cupid is no longer an archer ; his
glory shall be ours , for we are the only love gods . Go
in with me , and I will tell you my drift .
They exit .
Scene 3
Enter Benedick alone .
BENEDICK
Boy !
Enter Boy .
BOY
Signior ?
BENEDICK
In my chamber window lies a book . Bring it
hither to me in the orchard .
BOY
I am here already , sir .
BENEDICK
I know that , but I would have thee hence
and here again .
Boy exits .
I do much wonder that one man , seeing how much
another man is a fool when he dedicates his behaviors
to love , will , after he hath laughed at such
shallow follies in others , become the argument of
his own scorn by falling in love — and such a man is
Claudio . I have known when there was no music
with him but the drum and the fife , and now had he
rather hear the tabor and the pipe ; I have known
when he would have walked ten mile afoot to see a
good armor , and now will he lie ten nights awake
carving the fashion of a new doublet . He was wont
to speak plain and to the purpose , like an honest
[65] ACT 2. SC. 3 man and a soldier , and now is he turned orthography ;
his words are a very fantastical banquet , just so
many strange dishes . May I be so converted and see
with these eyes ? I cannot tell ; I think not . I will not
be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster ,
but I’ll take my oath on it , till he have made an
oyster of me , he shall never make me such a fool .
One woman is fair , yet I am well ; another is wise , yet
I am well ; another virtuous , yet I am well ; but till all
graces be in one woman , one woman shall not
come in my grace . Rich she shall be , that’s certain ;
wise , or I’ll none ; virtuous , or I’ll never cheapen
her ; fair , or I’ll never look on her ; mild , or come not
near me ; noble , or not I for an angel ; of good
discourse , an excellent musician , and her hair shall
be of what color it please God . Ha ! The Prince and
Monsieur Love ! I will hide me in the arbor .
He hides .
Enter Prince , Leonato , Claudio , and Balthasar
with music .
PRINCE
Come , shall we hear this music ?
CLAUDIO
Yea , my good lord . How still the evening is ,
As hushed on purpose to grace harmony !
PRINCE
, aside to Claudio
See you where Benedick hath hid himself ?
CLAUDIO
, aside to Prince
O , very well my lord . The music ended ,
We’ll fit the kid-fox with a pennyworth .
PRINCE
Come , Balthasar , we’ll hear that song again .
BALTHASAR
O , good my lord , tax not so bad a voice
To slander music any more than once .
[67]ACT 2. SC. 3
PRINCE
It is the witness still of excellency
To put a strange face on his own perfection .
I pray thee , sing , and let me woo no more .
BALTHASAR
Because you talk of wooing , I will sing ,
Since many a wooer doth commence his suit
To her he thinks not worthy , yet he woos ,
Yet will he swear he loves .
PRINCE
Nay , pray thee , come ,
Or if thou wilt hold longer argument ,
Do it in notes .
BALTHASAR
Note this before my notes :
There’s not a note of mine that’s worth the noting .
PRINCE
Why , these are very crotchets that he speaks !
Note notes , forsooth , and nothing .
Music plays .
BENEDICK
, aside
Now , divine air ! Now is his soul
ravished . Is it not strange that sheeps’ guts should
hale souls out of men’s bodies ? Well , a horn for my
money , when all’s done .
BALTHASAR
sings
Sigh no more , ladies , sigh no more ,
Men were deceivers ever ,
One foot in sea and one on shore ,
To one thing constant never .
Then sigh not so , but let them go ,
And be you blithe and bonny ,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey , nonny nonny .
Sing no more ditties , sing no mo ,
Of dumps so dull and heavy .
The fraud of men was ever so ,
Since summer first was leavy .
[69] ACT 2. SC. 3 Then sigh not so , but let them go ,
And be you blithe and bonny ,
Converting all your sounds of woe
Into Hey , nonny nonny .
PRINCE
By my troth , a good song .
BALTHASAR
And an ill singer , my lord .
PRINCE
Ha , no , no , faith , thou sing’st well enough for a
shift .
BENEDICK
, aside
An he had been a dog that should
have howled thus , they would have hanged him . And
I pray God his bad voice bode no mischief . I had as
lief have heard the night raven , come what plague
could have come after it .
PRINCE
Yea , marry , dost thou hear , Balthasar ? I pray
thee get us some excellent music , for tomorrow
night we would have it at the Lady Hero’s chamber
window .
BALTHASAR
The best I can , my lord .
PRINCE
Do so . Farewell .
Balthasar exits .
Come hither , Leonato . What was it you told me of
today , that your niece Beatrice was in love with
Signior Benedick ?
CLAUDIO
O , ay .
Aside to Prince .
Stalk on , stalk on ; the
fowl sits . — I did never think that lady would have
loved any man .
LEONATO
No , nor I neither , but most wonderful that
she should so dote on Signior Benedick , whom she
hath in all outward behaviors seemed ever to
abhor .
BENEDICK
, aside
Is ’t possible ? Sits the wind in that
corner ?
LEONATO
By my troth , my lord , I cannot tell what to
think of it , but that she loves him with an enraged
affection , it is past the infinite of thought .
PRINCE
Maybe she doth but counterfeit .
CLAUDIO
Faith , like enough .
[71]ACT 2. SC. 3
LEONATO
O God ! Counterfeit ? There was never counterfeit
of passion came so near the life of passion as
she discovers it .
PRINCE
Why , what effects of passion shows she ?
CLAUDIO
, aside to Leonato
Bait the hook well ; this fish
will bite .
LEONATO
What effects , my lord ? She will sit you — you
heard my daughter tell you how .
CLAUDIO
She did indeed .
PRINCE
How , how I pray you ? You amaze me . I would
have thought her spirit had been invincible against
all assaults of affection .
LEONATO
I would have sworn it had , my lord , especially
against Benedick .
BENEDICK
, aside
I should think this a gull but that the
white-bearded fellow speaks it . Knavery cannot ,
sure , hide himself in such reverence .
CLAUDIO
, aside to Prince
He hath ta’en th’ infection .
Hold it up .
PRINCE
Hath she made her affection known to
Benedick ?
LEONATO
No , and swears she never will . That’s her
torment .
CLAUDIO
’Tis true indeed , so your daughter says . ‘Shall
I ,’ says she , ‘that have so oft encountered him with
scorn , write to him that I love him ?’
LEONATO
This says she now when she is beginning to
write to him , for she’ll be up twenty times a night ,
and there will she sit in her smock till she have writ
a sheet of paper . My daughter tells us all .
CLAUDIO
Now you talk of a sheet of paper , I remember
a pretty jest your daughter told us of .
LEONATO
O , when she had writ it and was reading it
over , she found ‘Benedick’ and ‘Beatrice’ between
the sheet ?
CLAUDIO
That .
[73]ACT 2. SC. 3
LEONATO
O , she tore the letter into a thousand halfpence ,
railed at herself that she should be so
immodest to write to one that she knew would flout
her . ‘I measure him ,’ says she , ‘by my own spirit ,
for I should flout him if he writ to me , yea , though I
love him , I should .’
CLAUDIO
Then down upon her knees she falls , weeps ,
sobs , beats her heart , tears her hair , prays , curses :
‘O sweet Benedick , God give me patience !’
LEONATO
She doth indeed , my daughter says so , and
the ecstasy hath so much overborne her that my
daughter is sometimes afeared she will do a desperate
outrage to herself . It is very true .
PRINCE
It were good that Benedick knew of it by some
other , if she will not discover it .
CLAUDIO
To what end ? He would make but a sport of it
and torment the poor lady worse .
PRINCE
An he should , it were an alms to hang him .
She’s an excellent sweet lady , and , out of all suspicion ,
she is virtuous .
CLAUDIO
And she is exceeding wise .
PRINCE
In everything but in loving Benedick .
LEONATO
O , my lord , wisdom and blood combating in
so tender a body , we have ten proofs to one that
blood hath the victory . I am sorry for her , as I have
just cause , being her uncle and her guardian .
PRINCE
I would she had bestowed this dotage on me . I
would have daffed all other respects and made her
half myself . I pray you tell Benedick of it , and hear
what he will say .
LEONATO
Were it good , think you ?
CLAUDIO
Hero thinks surely she will die , for she says
she will die if he love her not , and she will die ere
she make her love known , and she will die if he woo
her rather than she will bate one breath of her
accustomed crossness .
[75]ACT 2. SC. 3
PRINCE
She doth well . If she should make tender of
her love , ’tis very possible he’ll scorn it , for the man ,
as you know all , hath a contemptible spirit .
CLAUDIO
He is a very proper man .
PRINCE
He hath indeed a good outward happiness .
CLAUDIO
Before God , and in my mind , very wise .
PRINCE
He doth indeed show some sparks that are like
wit .
CLAUDIO
And I take him to be valiant .
PRINCE
As Hector , I assure you , and in the managing
of quarrels you may say he is wise , for either he
avoids them with great discretion or undertakes
them with a most Christianlike fear .
LEONATO
If he do fear God , he must necessarily keep
peace . If he break the peace , he ought to enter into
a quarrel with fear and trembling .
PRINCE
And so will he do , for the man doth fear God ,
howsoever it seems not in him by some large jests
he will make . Well , I am sorry for your niece . Shall
we go seek Benedick and tell him of her love ?
CLAUDIO
Never tell him , my lord , let her wear it out
with good counsel .
LEONATO
Nay , that’s impossible ; she may wear her
heart out first .
PRINCE
Well , we will hear further of it by your daughter .
Let it cool the while . I love Benedick well , and I
could wish he would modestly examine himself to
see how much he is unworthy so good a lady .
LEONATO
My lord , will you walk ? Dinner is ready .
Leonato , Prince , and Claudio begin to exit .
CLAUDIO
, aside to Prince and Leonato
If he do not
dote on her upon this , I will never trust my
expectation .
PRINCE
, aside to Leonato
Let there be the same net
spread for her , and that must your daughter and her
gentlewomen carry . The sport will be when they
[77] ACT 2. SC. 3 hold one an opinion of another’s dotage , and no
such matter . That’s the scene that I would see ,
which will be merely a dumb show . Let us send her
to call him in to dinner .
Prince , Leonato , and Claudio exit .
BENEDICK
, coming forward
This can be no trick . The
conference was sadly borne ; they have the truth of
this from Hero ; they seem to pity the lady . It seems
her affections have their full bent . Love me ? Why , it
must be requited ! I hear how I am censured . They
say I will bear myself proudly if I perceive the love
come from her . They say , too , that she will rather
die than give any sign of affection . I did never think
to marry . I must not seem proud . Happy are they
that hear their detractions and can put them to
mending . They say the lady is fair ; ’tis a truth , I can
bear them witness . And virtuous ; ’tis so , I cannot
reprove it . And wise , but for loving me ; by my troth ,
it is no addition to her wit , nor no great argument of
her folly , for I will be horribly in love with her ! I
may chance have some odd quirks and remnants of
wit broken on me because I have railed so long
against marriage , but doth not the appetite alter ? A
man loves the meat in his youth that he cannot
endure in his age . Shall quips and sentences and
these paper bullets of the brain awe a man from the
career of his humor ? No ! The world must be peopled .
When I said I would die a bachelor , I did not
think I should live till I were married . Here comes
Beatrice . By this day , she’s a fair lady . I do spy some
marks of love in her .
Enter Beatrice .
BEATRICE
Against my will , I am sent to bid you come
in to dinner .
BENEDICK
Fair Beatrice , I thank you for your pains .
[79]ACT 2. SC. 3
BEATRICE
I took no more pains for those thanks than
you take pains to thank me . If it had been painful , I
would not have come .
BENEDICK
You take pleasure then in the message ?
BEATRICE
Yea , just so much as you may take upon a
knife’s point and choke a daw withal . You have no
stomach , signior . Fare you well .
She exits .
BENEDICK
Ha ! ‘Against my will I am sent to bid you
come in to dinner .’ There’s a double meaning in
that . ‘I took no more pains for those thanks than
you took pains to thank me .’ That’s as much as to
say ‘Any pains that I take for you is as easy as
thanks .’ If I do not take pity of her , I am a villain ; if I
do not love her , I am a Jew . I will go get her picture .
He exits .