Scene 1
Enter old Polonius with his man Reynaldo .
POLONIUS
Give him this money and these notes , Reynaldo .
REYNALDO
I will , my lord .
POLONIUS
You shall do marvelous wisely , good Reynaldo ,
Before you visit him , to make inquire
Of his behavior .
REYNALDO
My lord , I did intend it .
POLONIUS
Marry , well said , very well said . Look you , sir ,
Inquire me first what Danskers are in Paris ;
And how , and who , what means , and where they
keep ,
What company , at what expense ; and finding
By this encompassment and drift of question
That they do know my son , come you more nearer
Than your particular demands will touch it .
Take you , as ’twere , some distant knowledge of him ,
As thus : ‘I know his father and his friends
And , in part , him .’ Do you mark this , Reynaldo ?
REYNALDO
Ay , very well , my lord .
POLONIUS
‘And , in part , him , but ,’ you may say , ‘not well .
[75] ACT 2. SC. 1 But if ’t be he I mean , he’s very wild ,
Addicted so and so .’ And there put on him
What forgeries you please — marry , none so rank
As may dishonor him , take heed of that ,
But , sir , such wanton , wild , and usual slips
As are companions noted and most known
To youth and liberty .
REYNALDO
As gaming , my lord .
POLONIUS
Ay , or drinking , fencing , swearing ,
Quarreling , drabbing — you may go so far .
REYNALDO
My lord , that would dishonor him .
POLONIUS
Faith , no , as you may season it in the charge .
You must not put another scandal on him
That he is open to incontinency ;
That’s not my meaning . But breathe his faults so
quaintly
That they may seem the taints of liberty ,
The flash and outbreak of a fiery mind ,
A savageness in unreclaimèd blood ,
Of general assault .
REYNALDO
But , my good lord —
POLONIUS
Wherefore should you do this ?
REYNALDO
Ay , my lord , I would know that .
POLONIUS
Marry , sir , here’s my drift ,
And I believe it is a fetch of wit .
You , laying these slight sullies on my son ,
As ’twere a thing a little soiled i’ th’ working ,
Mark you , your party in converse , him you would
sound ,
Having ever seen in the prenominate crimes
The youth you breathe of guilty , be assured
He closes with you in this consequence :
‘Good sir ,’ or so , or ‘friend ,’ or ‘gentleman ,’
According to the phrase or the addition
Of man and country —
[77]ACT 2. SC. 1
REYNALDO
Very good , my lord .
POLONIUS
And then , sir , does he this , he does — what
was I about to say ? By the Mass , I was about to say
something . Where did I leave ?
REYNALDO
At ‘closes in the consequence ,’ at ‘friend ,
or so ,’ and ‘gentleman .’
POLONIUS
At ‘closes in the consequence’ — ay , marry —
He closes thus : ‘I know the gentleman .
I saw him yesterday ,’ or ‘th’ other day’
( Or then , or then , with such or such ) , ‘and as you
say ,
There was he gaming , there o’ertook in ’s rouse ,
There falling out at tennis’ ; or perchance
‘I saw him enter such a house of sale’ —
Videlicet , a brothel — or so forth . See you now
Your bait of falsehood take this carp of truth ;
And thus do we of wisdom and of reach ,
With windlasses and with assays of bias ,
By indirections find directions out .
So by my former lecture and advice
Shall you my son . You have me , have you not ?
REYNALDO
My lord , I have .
POLONIUS
God be wi’ you . Fare you well .
REYNALDO
Good my lord .
POLONIUS
Observe his inclination in yourself .
REYNALDO
I shall , my lord .
POLONIUS
And let him ply his music .
REYNALDO
Well , my lord .
POLONIUS
Farewell .
Reynaldo exits .
Enter Ophelia .
How now , Ophelia , what’s the matter ?
[79]ACT 2. SC. 1
OPHELIA
O , my lord , my lord , I have been so affrighted !
POLONIUS
With what , i’ th’ name of God ?
OPHELIA
My lord , as I was sewing in my closet ,
Lord Hamlet , with his doublet all unbraced ,
No hat upon his head , his stockings fouled ,
Ungartered , and down-gyvèd to his ankle ,
Pale as his shirt , his knees knocking each other ,
And with a look so piteous in purport
As if he had been loosèd out of hell
To speak of horrors — he comes before me .
POLONIUS
Mad for thy love ?
OPHELIA
My lord , I do not know ,
But truly I do fear it .
POLONIUS
What said he ?
OPHELIA
He took me by the wrist and held me hard .
Then goes he to the length of all his arm ,
And , with his other hand thus o’er his brow ,
He falls to such perusal of my face
As he would draw it . Long stayed he so .
At last , a little shaking of mine arm ,
And thrice his head thus waving up and down ,
He raised a sigh so piteous and profound
As it did seem to shatter all his bulk
And end his being . That done , he lets me go ,
And , with his head over his shoulder turned ,
He seemed to find his way without his eyes ,
For out o’ doors he went without their helps
And to the last bended their light on me .
POLONIUS
Come , go with me . I will go seek the King .
This is the very ecstasy of love ,
Whose violent property fordoes itself
[81] ACT 2. SC. 2 And leads the will to desperate undertakings
As oft as any passions under heaven
That does afflict our natures . I am sorry .
What , have you given him any hard words of late ?
OPHELIA
No , my good lord , but as you did command
I did repel his letters and denied
His access to me .
POLONIUS
That hath made him mad .
I am sorry that with better heed and judgment
I had not coted him . I feared he did but trifle
And meant to wrack thee . But beshrew my jealousy !
By heaven , it is as proper to our age
To cast beyond ourselves in our opinions
As it is common for the younger sort
To lack discretion . Come , go we to the King .
This must be known , which , being kept close , might
move
More grief to hide than hate to utter love .
Come .
They exit .
Scene 2
Flourish . Enter King and Queen , Rosencrantz and
Guildenstern and Attendants .
KING
Welcome , dear Rosencrantz and Guildenstern .
Moreover that we much did long to see you ,
The need we have to use you did provoke
Our hasty sending . Something have you heard
Of Hamlet’s transformation , so call it ,
Sith nor th’ exterior nor the inward man
Resembles that it was . What it should be ,
More than his father’s death , that thus hath put him
[83] ACT 2. SC. 2 So much from th’ understanding of himself
I cannot dream of . I entreat you both
That , being of so young days brought up with him
And sith so neighbored to his youth and havior ,
That you vouchsafe your rest here in our court
Some little time , so by your companies
To draw him on to pleasures , and to gather
So much as from occasion you may glean ,
Whether aught to us unknown afflicts him thus
That , opened , lies within our remedy .
QUEEN
Good gentlemen , he hath much talked of you ,
And sure I am two men there is not living
To whom he more adheres . If it will please you
To show us so much gentry and goodwill
As to expend your time with us awhile
For the supply and profit of our hope ,
Your visitation shall receive such thanks
As fits a king’s remembrance .
ROSENCRANTZ
Both your Majesties
Might , by the sovereign power you have of us ,
Put your dread pleasures more into command
Than to entreaty .
GUILDENSTERN
But we both obey ,
And here give up ourselves in the full bent
To lay our service freely at your feet ,
To be commanded .
KING
Thanks , Rosencrantz and gentle Guildenstern .
QUEEN
Thanks , Guildenstern and gentle Rosencrantz .
And I beseech you instantly to visit
My too much changèd son . — Go , some of you ,
And bring these gentlemen where Hamlet is .
GUILDENSTERN
Heavens make our presence and our practices
Pleasant and helpful to him !
[85]ACT 2. SC. 2
QUEEN
Ay , amen !
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern exit
with some Attendants .
Enter Polonius .
POLONIUS
Th’ ambassadors from Norway , my good lord ,
Are joyfully returned .
KING
Thou still hast been the father of good news .
POLONIUS
Have I , my lord ? I assure my good liege
I hold my duty as I hold my soul ,
Both to my God and to my gracious king ,
And I do think , or else this brain of mine
Hunts not the trail of policy so sure
As it hath used to do , that I have found
The very cause of Hamlet’s lunacy .
KING
O , speak of that ! That do I long to hear .
POLONIUS
Give first admittance to th’ ambassadors .
My news shall be the fruit to that great feast .
KING
Thyself do grace to them and bring them in .
Polonius exits .
He tells me , my dear Gertrude , he hath found
The head and source of all your son’s distemper .
QUEEN
I doubt it is no other but the main —
His father’s death and our o’erhasty marriage .
KING
Well , we shall sift him .
Enter Ambassadors Voltemand and Cornelius with
Polonius .
[87] ACT 2. SC. 2 Welcome , my good friends .
Say , Voltemand , what from our brother Norway ?
VOLTEMAND
Most fair return of greetings and desires .
Upon our first , he sent out to suppress
His nephew’s levies , which to him appeared
To be a preparation ’gainst the Polack ,
But , better looked into , he truly found
It was against your Highness . Whereat , grieved
That so his sickness , age , and impotence
Was falsely borne in hand , sends out arrests
On Fortinbras , which he , in brief , obeys ,
Receives rebuke from Norway , and , in fine ,
Makes vow before his uncle never more
To give th’ assay of arms against your Majesty .
Whereon old Norway , overcome with joy ,
Gives him three-score thousand crowns in annual
fee
And his commission to employ those soldiers ,
So levied as before , against the Polack ,
With an entreaty , herein further shown ,
He gives a paper .
That it might please you to give quiet pass
Through your dominions for this enterprise ,
On such regards of safety and allowance
As therein are set down .
KING
It likes us well ,
And , at our more considered time , we’ll read ,
Answer , and think upon this business .
Meantime , we thank you for your well-took labor .
Go to your rest . At night we’ll feast together .
Most welcome home !
Voltemand and Cornelius exit .
POLONIUS
This business is well ended .
My liege , and madam , to expostulate
What majesty should be , what duty is ,
[89] ACT 2. SC. 2 Why day is day , night night , and time is time
Were nothing but to waste night , day , and time .
Therefore , since brevity is the soul of wit ,
And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes ,
I will be brief . Your noble son is mad .
‘Mad’ call I it , for , to define true madness ,
What is ’t but to be nothing else but mad ?
But let that go .
QUEEN
More matter with less art .
POLONIUS
Madam , I swear I use no art at all .
That he’s mad , ’tis true ; ’tis true ’tis pity ,
And pity ’tis ’tis true — a foolish figure ,
But farewell it , for I will use no art .
Mad let us grant him then , and now remains
That we find out the cause of this effect ,
Or , rather say , the cause of this defect ,
For this effect defective comes by cause .
Thus it remains , and the remainder thus .
Perpend .
I have a daughter ( have while she is mine )
Who , in her duty and obedience , mark ,
Hath given me this . Now gather and surmise .
He reads .
To the celestial , and my soul’s idol , the
most beautified Ophelia — That’s an ill phrase , a vile phrase ;
‘beautified’ is a
vile phrase . But you shall hear . Thus :
He reads .
In her excellent white bosom , these , etc. —QUEEN
Came this from Hamlet to her ?
POLONIUS
Good madam , stay awhile . I will be faithful .
He reads the letter .
Doubt thou the stars are fire ,
Doubt that the sun doth move ,
Doubt truth to be a liar ,
But never doubt I love .
[91] ACT 2. SC. 2 O dear Ophelia , I am ill at these numbers . I have not
art to reckon my groans , but that I love thee best , O
most best , believe it . Adieu .
Thine evermore , most dear lady , whilst
this machine is to him , Hamlet . This , in obedience , hath my daughter shown me ,
And more above , hath his solicitings ,
As they fell out by time , by means , and place ,
All given to mine ear .
KING
But how hath she received his love ?
POLONIUS
What do you think of me ?
KING
As of a man faithful and honorable .
POLONIUS
I would fain prove so . But what might you think ,
When I had seen this hot love on the wing
( As I perceived it , I must tell you that ,
Before my daughter told me ) , what might you ,
Or my dear Majesty your queen here , think ,
If I had played the desk or table-book
Or given my heart a winking , mute and dumb ,
Or looked upon this love with idle sight ?
What might you think ? No , I went round to work ,
And my young mistress thus I did bespeak :
‘Lord Hamlet is a prince , out of thy star .
This must not be .’ And then I prescripts gave her ,
That she should lock herself from his resort ,
Admit no messengers , receive no tokens ;
Which done , she took the fruits of my advice ,
And he , repelled ( a short tale to make ) ,
Fell into a sadness , then into a fast ,
Thence to a watch , thence into a weakness ,
Thence to a lightness , and , by this declension ,
Into the madness wherein now he raves
And all we mourn for .
KING
, to Queen
Do you think ’tis this ?
[93]ACT 2. SC. 2
QUEEN
It may be , very like .
POLONIUS
Hath there been such a time ( I would fain know
that )
That I have positively said ‘’Tis so ,’
When it proved otherwise ?
KING
Not that I know .
POLONIUS
Take this from this , if this be otherwise .
If circumstances lead me , I will find
Where truth is hid , though it were hid , indeed ,
Within the center .
KING
How may we try it further ?
POLONIUS
You know sometimes he walks four hours together
Here in the lobby .
QUEEN
So he does indeed .
POLONIUS
At such a time I’ll loose my daughter to him .
To the King .
Be you and I behind an arras then .
Mark the encounter . If he love her not ,
And be not from his reason fall’n thereon ,
Let me be no assistant for a state ,
But keep a farm and carters .
KING
We will try it .
Enter Hamlet reading on a book .
QUEEN
But look where sadly the poor wretch comes
reading .
POLONIUS
Away , I do beseech you both , away .
I’ll board him presently . O , give me leave .
King and Queen exit with Attendants .
How does my good Lord Hamlet ?
HAMLET
Well , God-a-mercy .
[95]ACT 2. SC. 2
POLONIUS
Do you know me , my lord ?
HAMLET
Excellent well . You are a fishmonger .
POLONIUS
Not I , my lord .
HAMLET
Then I would you were so honest a man .
POLONIUS
Honest , my lord ?
HAMLET
Ay , sir . To be honest , as this world goes , is to
be one man picked out of ten thousand .
POLONIUS
That’s very true , my lord .
HAMLET
For if the sun breed maggots in a dead
dog , being a good kissing carrion — Have you a
daughter ?
POLONIUS
I have , my lord .
HAMLET
Let her not walk i’ th’ sun . Conception is a
blessing , but , as your daughter may conceive ,
friend , look to ’t .
POLONIUS
, aside
How say you by that ? Still harping on
my daughter . Yet he knew me not at first ; he said I
was a fishmonger . He is far gone . And truly , in my
youth , I suffered much extremity for love , very near
this . I’ll speak to him again . — What do you read , my
lord ?
HAMLET
Words , words , words .
POLONIUS
What is the matter , my lord ?
HAMLET
Between who ?
POLONIUS
I mean the matter that you read , my lord .
HAMLET
Slanders , sir ; for the satirical rogue says here
that old men have gray beards , that their faces are
wrinkled , their eyes purging thick amber and
plum-tree gum , and that they have a plentiful lack of
wit , together with most weak hams ; all which , sir ,
though I most powerfully and potently believe , yet I
hold it not honesty to have it thus set down ; for
yourself , sir , shall grow old as I am , if , like a crab ,
you could go backward .
POLONIUS
, aside
Though this be madness , yet there is
method in ’t . — Will you walk out of the air , my lord ?
[97]ACT 2. SC. 2
HAMLET
Into my grave ?
POLONIUS
Indeed , that’s out of the air .
Aside .
How
pregnant sometimes his replies are ! A happiness
that often madness hits on , which reason and
sanity could not so prosperously be delivered of . I
will leave him and suddenly contrive the means of
meeting between him and my daughter . — My lord ,
I will take my leave of you .
HAMLET
You cannot , sir , take from me anything that I
will more willingly part withal — except my life ,
except my life , except my life .
POLONIUS
Fare you well , my lord .
HAMLET
, aside
These tedious old fools .
Enter Guildenstern and Rosencrantz .
POLONIUS
You go to seek the Lord Hamlet . There he is .
ROSENCRANTZ
, to Polonius
God save you , sir .
Polonius exits .
GUILDENSTERN
My honored lord .
ROSENCRANTZ
My most dear lord .
HAMLET
My excellent good friends ! How dost thou ,
Guildenstern ? Ah , Rosencrantz ! Good lads , how do
you both ?
ROSENCRANTZ
As the indifferent children of the earth .
GUILDENSTERN
Happy in that we are not overhappy .
On Fortune’s cap , we are not the very button .
HAMLET
Nor the soles of her shoe ?
ROSENCRANTZ
Neither , my lord .
HAMLET
Then you live about her waist , or in the
middle of her favors ?
GUILDENSTERN
Faith , her privates we .
HAMLET
In the secret parts of Fortune ? O , most true !
She is a strumpet . What news ?
ROSENCRANTZ
None , my lord , but that the world’s
grown honest .
[99]ACT 2. SC. 2
HAMLET
Then is doomsday near . But your news is not
true . Let me question more in particular . What
have you , my good friends , deserved at the hands of
Fortune that she sends you to prison hither ?
GUILDENSTERN
Prison , my lord ?
HAMLET
Denmark’s a prison .
ROSENCRANTZ
Then is the world one .
HAMLET
A goodly one , in which there are many confines ,
wards , and dungeons , Denmark being one o’
th’ worst .
ROSENCRANTZ
We think not so , my lord .
HAMLET
Why , then , ’tis none to you , for there is
nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it
so . To me , it is a prison .
ROSENCRANTZ
Why , then , your ambition makes it one .
’Tis too narrow for your mind .
HAMLET
O God , I could be bounded in a nutshell and
count myself a king of infinite space , were it not
that I have bad dreams .
GUILDENSTERN
Which dreams , indeed , are ambition ,
for the very substance of the ambitious is merely
the shadow of a dream .
HAMLET
A dream itself is but a shadow .
ROSENCRANTZ
Truly , and I hold ambition of so airy
and light a quality that it is but a shadow’s shadow .
HAMLET
Then are our beggars bodies , and our monarchs
and outstretched heroes the beggars’ shadows .
Shall we to th’ court ? For , by my fay , I cannot
reason .
ROSENCRANTZ / GUILDENSTERN
We’ll wait upon you .
HAMLET
No such matter . I will not sort you with the
rest of my servants , for , to speak to you like an
honest man , I am most dreadfully attended . But ,
in the beaten way of friendship , what make you at
Elsinore ?
ROSENCRANTZ
To visit you , my lord , no other occasion .
[101]ACT 2. SC. 2
HAMLET
Beggar that I am , I am even poor in thanks ;
but I thank you , and sure , dear friends , my thanks
are too dear a halfpenny . Were you not sent for ?
Is it your own inclining ? Is it a free visitation ?
Come , come , deal justly with me . Come , come ; nay ,
speak .
GUILDENSTERN
What should we say , my lord ?
HAMLET
Anything but to th’ purpose . You were sent
for , and there is a kind of confession in your looks
which your modesties have not craft enough to
color . I know the good king and queen have sent for
you .
ROSENCRANTZ
To what end , my lord ?
HAMLET
That you must teach me . But let me conjure
you by the rights of our fellowship , by the consonancy
of our youth , by the obligation of our ever-preserved
love , and by what more dear a better
proposer can charge you withal : be even and direct
with me whether you were sent for or no .
ROSENCRANTZ
, to Guildenstern
What say you ?
HAMLET
, aside
Nay , then , I have an eye of you . — If
you love me , hold not off .
GUILDENSTERN
My lord , we were sent for .
HAMLET
I will tell you why ; so shall my anticipation
prevent your discovery , and your secrecy to the
King and Queen molt no feather . I have of late , but
wherefore I know not , lost all my mirth , forgone all
custom of exercises , and , indeed , it goes so heavily
with my disposition that this goodly frame , the
Earth , seems to me a sterile promontory ; this most
excellent canopy , the air , look you , this brave o’erhanging
firmament , this majestical roof , fretted
with golden fire — why , it appeareth nothing to me
but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors .
What a piece of work is a man , how noble in
reason , how infinite in faculties , in form and moving
[103] ACT 2. SC. 2 how express and admirable ; in action how like
an angel , in apprehension how like a god : the
beauty of the world , the paragon of animals — and
yet , to me , what is this quintessence of dust ? Man
delights not me , no , nor women neither , though by
your smiling you seem to say so .
ROSENCRANTZ
My lord , there was no such stuff in my
thoughts .
HAMLET
Why did you laugh , then , when I said ‘man
delights not me’ ?
ROSENCRANTZ
To think , my lord , if you delight not in
man , what Lenten entertainment the players shall
receive from you . We coted them on the way , and
hither are they coming to offer you service .
HAMLET
He that plays the king shall be welcome — his
Majesty shall have tribute on me . The adventurous
knight shall use his foil and target , the lover shall
not sigh gratis , the humorous man shall end his
part in peace , the clown shall make those laugh
whose lungs are tickle o’ th’ sear , and the lady
shall say her mind freely , or the blank verse shall
halt for ’t . What players are they ?
ROSENCRANTZ
Even those you were wont to take such
delight in , the tragedians of the city .
HAMLET
How chances it they travel ? Their residence ,
both in reputation and profit , was better both ways .
ROSENCRANTZ
I think their inhibition comes by the
means of the late innovation .
HAMLET
Do they hold the same estimation they did
when I was in the city ? Are they so followed ?
ROSENCRANTZ
No , indeed are they not .
HAMLET
How comes it ? Do they grow rusty ?
ROSENCRANTZ
Nay , their endeavor keeps in the wonted
pace . But there is , sir , an aerie of children , little
eyases , that cry out on the top of question and are
most tyrannically clapped for ’t . These are now the
[105] ACT 2. SC. 2 fashion and so berattle the common stages ( so
they call them ) that many wearing rapiers are afraid
of goose quills and dare scarce come thither .
HAMLET
What , are they children ? Who maintains ’em ?
How are they escoted ? Will they pursue the quality
no longer than they can sing ? Will they not say
afterwards , if they should grow themselves to common
players ( as it is most like , if their means are
no better ) , their writers do them wrong to make
them exclaim against their own succession ?
ROSENCRANTZ
Faith , there has been much to-do on
both sides , and the nation holds it no sin to tar
them to controversy . There was for a while no
money bid for argument unless the poet and the
player went to cuffs in the question .
HAMLET
Is ’t possible ?
GUILDENSTERN
O , there has been much throwing
about of brains .
HAMLET
Do the boys carry it away ?
ROSENCRANTZ
Ay , that they do , my lord — Hercules
and his load too .
HAMLET
It is not very strange ; for my uncle is King of
Denmark , and those that would make mouths at
him while my father lived give twenty , forty , fifty ,
a
hundred ducats apiece for his picture in little .
’Sblood , there is something in this more than natural ,
if philosophy could find it out .
A flourish for the Players .
GUILDENSTERN
There are the players .
HAMLET
Gentlemen , you are welcome to Elsinore .
Your hands , come then . Th’ appurtenance of welcome
is fashion and ceremony . Let me comply
with you in this garb , lest my extent to the players ,
which , I tell you , must show fairly outwards , should
more appear like entertainment than yours . You are
welcome . But my uncle-father and aunt-mother are
deceived .
[107]ACT 2. SC. 2
GUILDENSTERN
In what , my dear lord ?
HAMLET
I am but mad north-north-west . When the
wind is southerly , I know a hawk from a handsaw .
Enter Polonius .
POLONIUS
Well be with you , gentlemen .
HAMLET
Hark you , Guildenstern , and you too — at
each ear a hearer ! That great baby you see there is
not yet out of his swaddling clouts .
ROSENCRANTZ
Haply he is the second time come to
them , for they say an old man is twice a child .
HAMLET
I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the
players ; mark it . — You say right , sir , a Monday
morning , ’twas then indeed .
POLONIUS
My lord , I have news to tell you .
HAMLET
My lord , I have news to tell you : when Roscius
was an actor in Rome —
POLONIUS
The actors are come hither , my lord .
HAMLET
Buzz , buzz .
POLONIUS
Upon my honor —
HAMLET
Then came each actor on his ass .
POLONIUS
The best actors in the world , either for
tragedy , comedy , history , pastoral , pastoral-comical ,
historical-pastoral , tragical-historical ,
tragical-comical-historical-pastoral , scene individable , or
poem unlimited . Seneca cannot be too heavy , nor
Plautus too light . For the law of writ and the liberty ,
these are the only men .
HAMLET
O Jephthah , judge of Israel , what a treasure
hadst thou !
POLONIUS
What a treasure had he , my lord ?
HAMLET
Why ,
One fair daughter , and no more ,
The which he lovèd passing well .
POLONIUS
, aside
Still on my daughter .
HAMLET
Am I not i’ th’ right , old Jephthah ?
[109]ACT 2. SC. 2
POLONIUS
If you call me ‘Jephthah ,’ my lord : I have a
daughter that I love passing well .
HAMLET
Nay , that follows not .
POLONIUS
What follows then , my lord ?
HAMLET
Why ,
As by lot , God wot and then , you know ,
It came to pass , as most like it was — the first row of the pious chanson will show you
more , for look where my abridgment comes .
Enter the Players .
You are welcome , masters ; welcome all . — I am glad
to see thee well . — Welcome , good friends . — O my
old friend ! Why , thy face is valanced since I saw thee
last . Com’st thou to beard me in Denmark ? — What ,
my young lady and mistress ! By ’r Lady , your Ladyship
is nearer to heaven than when I saw you last , by
the altitude of a chopine . Pray God your voice , like a
piece of uncurrent gold , be not cracked within the
ring . Masters , you are all welcome . We’ll e’en to ’t
like French falconers , fly at anything we see . We’ll
have a speech straight . Come , give us a taste of your
quality . Come , a passionate speech .
FIRST PLAYER
What speech , my good lord ?
HAMLET
I heard thee speak me a speech once , but it
was never acted , or , if it was , not above once ; for
the play , I remember , pleased not the million :
’twas caviary to the general . But it was ( as I
received it , and others whose judgments in such
matters cried in the top of mine ) an excellent play ,
well digested in the scenes , set down with as much
modesty as cunning . I remember one said there
were no sallets in the lines to make the matter
savory , nor no matter in the phrase that might indict
the author of affection , but called it an honest
[111] ACT 2. SC. 2 method , as wholesome as sweet and , by very much ,
more handsome than fine . One speech in ’t I
chiefly loved . ’Twas Aeneas’ tale to Dido , and
thereabout of it especially when he speaks of
Priam’s slaughter . If it live in your memory , begin at
this line — let me see , let me see :
The rugged Pyrrhus , like th’ Hyrcanian beast —
’tis not so ; it begins with Pyrrhus :
The rugged Pyrrhus , he whose sable arms ,
Black as his purpose , did the night resemble
When he lay couchèd in th’ ominous horse ,
Hath now this dread and black complexion smeared
With heraldry more dismal . Head to foot ,
Now is he total gules , horridly tricked
With blood of fathers , mothers , daughters , sons ,
Baked and impasted with the parching streets ,
That lend a tyrannous and a damnèd light
To their lord’s murder . Roasted in wrath and fire ,
And thus o’ersizèd with coagulate gore ,
With eyes like carbuncles , the hellish Pyrrhus
Old grandsire Priam seeks .
So , proceed you .
POLONIUS
’Fore God , my lord , well spoken , with good
accent and good discretion .
FIRST PLAYER
Anon he finds him
Striking too short at Greeks . His antique sword ,
Rebellious to his arm , lies where it falls ,
Repugnant to command . Unequal matched ,
Pyrrhus at Priam drives , in rage strikes wide ;
But with the whiff and wind of his fell sword
Th’ unnervèd father falls . Then senseless Ilium ,
Seeming to feel this blow , with flaming top
Stoops to his base , and with a hideous crash
Takes prisoner Pyrrhus’ ear . For lo , his sword ,
Which was declining on the milky head
Of reverend Priam , seemed i’ th’ air to stick .
[113] ACT 2. SC. 2 So as a painted tyrant Pyrrhus stood
And , like a neutral to his will and matter ,
Did nothing .
But as we often see against some storm
A silence in the heavens , the rack stand still ,
The bold winds speechless , and the orb below
As hush as death , anon the dreadful thunder
Doth rend the region ; so , after Pyrrhus’ pause ,
Arousèd vengeance sets him new a-work ,
And never did the Cyclops’ hammers fall
On Mars’s armor , forged for proof eterne ,
With less remorse than Pyrrhus’ bleeding sword
Now falls on Priam .
Out , out , thou strumpet Fortune ! All you gods
In general synod take away her power ,
Break all the spokes and fellies from her wheel ,
And bowl the round nave down the hill of heaven
As low as to the fiends !
POLONIUS
This is too long .
HAMLET
It shall to the barber’s with your beard . —
Prithee say on . He’s for a jig or a tale of bawdry , or
he sleeps . Say on ; come to Hecuba .
FIRST PLAYER
But who , ah woe , had seen the moblèd queen —
HAMLET
‘The moblèd queen’ ?
POLONIUS
That’s good . ‘Moblèd queen’ is good .
FIRST PLAYER
Run barefoot up and down , threat’ning the flames
With bisson rheum , a clout upon that head
Where late the diadem stood , and for a robe ,
About her lank and all o’erteemèd loins
A blanket , in the alarm of fear caught up —
Who this had seen , with tongue in venom steeped ,
’Gainst Fortune’s state would treason have
pronounced .
But if the gods themselves did see her then
[115] ACT 2. SC. 2 When she saw Pyrrhus make malicious sport
In mincing with his sword her husband’s limbs ,
The instant burst of clamor that she made
( Unless things mortal move them not at all )
Would have made milch the burning eyes of heaven
And passion in the gods .
POLONIUS
Look whe’er he has not turned his color and
has tears in ’s eyes . Prithee , no more .
HAMLET
’Tis well . I’ll have thee speak out the rest of
this soon . — Good my lord , will you see the players
well bestowed ? Do you hear , let them be well used ,
for they are the abstract and brief chronicles of the
time . After your death you were better have a bad
epitaph than their ill report while you live .
POLONIUS
My lord , I will use them according to their
desert .
HAMLET
God’s bodykins , man , much better ! Use every
man after his desert and who shall ’scape
whipping ? Use them after your own honor and
dignity . The less they deserve , the more merit is in
your bounty . Take them in .
POLONIUS
Come , sirs .
HAMLET
Follow him , friends . We’ll hear a play
tomorrow . As Polonius and Players exit , Hamlet speaks to
the First Player . Dost thou hear me , old friend ? Can
you play The Murder of Gonzago ?
FIRST PLAYER
Ay , my lord .
HAMLET
We’ll ha ’t tomorrow night . You could , for a
need , study a speech of some dozen or sixteen
lines , which I would set down and insert in ’t ,
could you not ?
FIRST PLAYER
Ay , my lord .
HAMLET
Very well . Follow that lord — and look you
mock him not . First Player exits . My good friends ,
I’ll leave you till night . You are welcome to Elsinore .
ROSENCRANTZ
Good my lord .
[117]ACT 2. SC. 2
HAMLET
Ay , so , good-bye to you .
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern exit .
Now I am alone .
O , what a rogue and peasant slave am I !
Is it not monstrous that this player here ,
But in a fiction , in a dream of passion ,
Could force his soul so to his own conceit
That from her working all his visage wanned ,
Tears in his eyes , distraction in his aspect ,
A broken voice , and his whole function suiting
With forms to his conceit — and all for nothing !
For Hecuba !
What’s Hecuba to him , or he to Hecuba ,
That he should weep for her ? What would he do
Had he the motive and the cue for passion
That I have ? He would drown the stage with tears
And cleave the general ear with horrid speech ,
Make mad the guilty and appall the free ,
Confound the ignorant and amaze indeed
The very faculties of eyes and ears . Yet I ,
A dull and muddy-mettled rascal , peak
Like John-a-dreams , unpregnant of my cause ,
And can say nothing — no , not for a king
Upon whose property and most dear life
A damned defeat was made . Am I a coward ?
Who calls me
‘villain’ ? breaks my pate across ?
Plucks off my beard and blows it in my face ?
Tweaks me by the nose ? gives me the lie i’ th’ throat
As deep as to the lungs ? Who does me this ?
Ha ! ’Swounds , I should take it ! For it cannot be
But I am pigeon-livered and lack gall
To make oppression bitter , or ere this
I should have fatted all the region kites
With this slave’s offal . Bloody , bawdy villain !
Remorseless , treacherous , lecherous , kindless
villain !
[119] ACT 2. SC. 2 O vengeance !
Why , what an ass am I ! This is most brave ,
That I , the son of a dear father murdered ,
Prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell ,
Must , like a whore , unpack my heart with words
And fall a-cursing like a very drab ,
A stallion ! Fie upon ’t ! Foh !
About , my brains ! — Hum , I have heard
That guilty creatures sitting at a play
Have , by the very cunning of the scene ,
Been struck so to the soul that presently
They have proclaimed their malefactions ;
For murder , though it have no tongue , will speak
With most miraculous organ . I’ll have these players
Play something like the murder of my father
Before mine uncle . I’ll observe his looks ;
I’ll tent him to the quick . If he do blench ,
I know my course . The spirit that I have seen
May be a devil , and the devil hath power
T’ assume a pleasing shape ; yea , and perhaps ,
Out of my weakness and my melancholy ,
As he is very potent with such spirits ,
Abuses me to damn me . I’ll have grounds
More relative than this . The play’s the thing
Wherein I’ll catch the conscience of the King .
He exits .