A Farther Continuation OF THE HISTORY OF THE Crown-Inn.
PART .III.
Containing the present State of the INN, and other Particulars.
LONDON:
Printed for J. MOOR, and Sold by the Booksellers of
London
and
Westminster.
Price 3
d.
A Farther Continuation OF THE HISTORY OF THE Crown-Inn,
&c.
I N my last I told you what furious Pretentions were made to Mr. WRIGHT's Favour, by a Set of Fellows, who, you will conclude little deserve it; and if you consider that the greatest part of that Letter was writ before His coming to Town; you will likewise agree, that I spoke somewhat like a Prophet.
But indeed, what is easier than to foresee Things which have such natural and unavoidable Consequences; for nothing but the grossest Impudence, as well as the most absurd and vain Conceptions, could have given them the least Pretence to it; or have urg'd them to hope what they were neither intituled to, or qualified for.
They were very officious in their Attendance on Mr. WRIGHT when he arrived near the Town, and as suppliant as Spaniels in their Sycophantick
Devoires.
They feigned and wrung out an hundred Compliments which he took littlenotice of; But of all, you would have laught heartily at
BOB,
with his
INVIOLABLE ATTACH,
and
boasted Interest; BOB
after all was fain to implore the Favour to be introduced; and when he had duck'd himself into a low and obsequious Cringe, as he drew near, Mr. WRIGHT by a sudden Presence of Mind, turned his back upon him, and poor
BOB
's Countenance fell like a
Weather-Glass
at the Alteration of the Weather.
This admirable Farce wou'd have lasted much longer, to the great Diversion of the Town; but that Mr. WRIGHT who is the most free and unaffected Man living, and cannot endure any thing that looks like constraint, or servile Flattery, resolved not to be pester'd with 'em; and therefore by dismissing
Jacob Rush, Sim,
and some other of the
King leaders,
designed to convince the rest, what he thought of their Company; and that he was capable to distinguish those who had merited from him, from those who had not.
You will hardly believe me, when I tell you, that the
CURATE
had the Impudence to appear publickly at the
INN.
Surely the Front of that Fellow must be of the most solid and obdurate Brass. Can it be forgot how often he has drank young
Shute
's Health; and preach'd up his Interest by Inumendo's, in direct opposition to Mr. WRIGHT's Succession? Is any thing more notorious, unless his own corrupt Life, than his encouraging his Enemies, both in Life and Doctrine? How often has he been drunk at the
Popes-Head,
the
Cross-Keys,
and
Mitre,
with the Friends of young
Shute?
For he promotes no House, that is not even in its very Description well affected to him. Was this a Wretch now to appear bare-faced to Mr. WRIGHT? or can any thing better discribe the unaccountable Vanity of an unthinking termagant Party?
The Conclusion of this was, that the Wretch was hustled out of the House, and had been buffeted, but out of deference to his
Coat.
Can you divine now, what should be in the Man's Head? His Friends indeed, according to their usual Vanity, said we shou'd see him a B—p, but could even the most stupid
Clodpate
alive, really hope or believe this, after he saw his Confederates under the deplorable Circumstances of
Disgrace,
and the
Interest
entirely sunk that could support his unjust Pretensions? Well of all the Senceless furious Creatures that breath in the open Regions of the Air, commend me to the
CURATE
and his Party, for something very ridiculous, and out of the common Road and Propriety of Thinking.
A Friend of mine gives a very good turn to this and says, it was a Design of the Party to send him thither on purpose to be affronted, thereby to give a second handle to enflame the Mob, as at an Injury or Disrespect offered to the
Church;
and this to be sounded by the
Trumpets of Zion
among the People. I will grant for once they may be capable to Think, for there are some shallow
Tricksters
among them; and therefore my Friends Notion may be just; but if ever they are hanged for
Conjurers
I'll be Shot, or throw my self out of the Window, as an Auspicious
Patron
of his did, when he remembered the irreparable Injury he had done his Country, by
Charioting
and Countenancing such a pernicious
Incendiary.
Upon the whole, the Party have now changed their Sentiments; it is at length beaten into their fortified Skulls; that their mighty Pretences to Mr. WRIGHT's Favour were frivilous, and without Ground. They do not so warmly, and proudly affirm now,
That they were the Men who brought him in;
and all the Love, and previous Grimaces, and the faint Acclamations before his Arrival, are turned into dull and insignificant
Shruggs.
The glorious
Changes
at the
INN
have almost work'd them into their Ancient Spirit: The Consternation is great, but they have always a Body of Reserve ready to sustain them under the most shocking and terrible Defeats. It is pleasant to hear these Fellows, who but a few Days ago, were heard to utter the most melodious Things imaginable of Mr. WRIGHT, now assume a dogmatical Air of reasoning upon his Conduct; and straining themselves into ambiguous and ridiculous Hints; as if his known and celebrated Virtue were any way in the Case of discountenancing such a pack of deep Mouth'd
Curs,
that are always full Cry in running down
Truth
and
Innocence;
and where they have neither Courage nor Honesty to speak: their Minds, are Villains enough to make distant and raskally Reflections. But let them take care, for we have a substantial pair of
Stocks
here, and a
Whipping-Post
of the fittest Magnitude, equal to the brawniest Back of the most Sizeable Villain among them; besides two sturdy young
Elms
at the Towns-end, that grew in a true Protestant Country where HEREDITARY RIGHT, SLAVERY, and ARBITRARY POWER were never heard off.
I am vexed that I must trouble you with such Trifles as these, but I shall never get through my Purpose without letting you into these little Details; nor wou'd you be so capable to relish Things more momentous, if you were not truely possessed of the present State and litigious Spirit of the Party You remember what they were in Power, and 'tis proper you shou'd know what they are in
Adversity,
They forget the old Proverb,
That Sawce for the Goose is Sawce for the Gander.
What havock they made in turning out the
Old Servants,
upon the most frivolous Pretences, and what a Scrabling they made to get their Fingers into the
Widow's Dish.
Never was such a Set of
Cormorants
known, they devoured by wholesale, yet went on with eager Complaints against the
Old Servants,
the better to conceal their own voracious Stomachs: One was accused of taking
Half Penny Rolls
out of the
Bakers
Basket, another for Embezling the
Hay and Oats,
and a third for receiving
Reckonings
and not bringing the Money to the
Bar:
But for Truth, they left that to be made out by
Jonathan Wormwood
their
Amanuensis
a very
bitter
Fellow against all the
old Servants,
a witty facetious Varlet, and a and hanger on to
Bob,
who kept him for such Purposes, for which he was excellently qualified, for he was as wicked as his Heart could wish; and had the best Talent at
Railery
and
Lies
a Man could possibly be endued-withal.
How he handled the
Widow's Friends
and
Servants
you have heard already; it was however equal to the Justice and Candour of all their other Proceedings, and helpt to furnish half the Blockheads in Town of that Party with Matter to hold an Argument. Some drew the whole
Rigmaro
into a kind of useful Common Place, for the greater Ease to their Memory's; and every
Jackdaw
or
Owl
in Town could hoot out some senceless Lesson taken from his Scurrilous Memoirs.
Bob
had half a Dozen of these Fellows at his Beck, who hated him heartily, but for the Bread they receiv'd out of the
Widow's Basket.
Every Raskal had his separate Instructions. To one it was given to blacken the
Widow's
Friends, and shew the Necessity of coming to an Agreement without them; to another, to render our own Condition desperate, the better to frighten People into a Sence of it; a third was to run down the Credit of the Old Servants, and cry up the great Honesty of the new; a fourth, to discant on the
Church;
a fifth on
Trade;
and a sixth incessantly to cry out
Faction, Plots, wicked Designs,
&c. and keep the Town in continual Alarm, to prevent their cooling, or recovering their proper Sences.
These
Tools,
as infamous as they were, answer'd the Ends they were employed on: the Mob especially, and the most unthinking and injudicious People, were taken by the Ears, and listened to them with great Attention, and by such Mountebank Methods, the Credit of their Proceedings at the
Inn
was wholly supported.
The
Widow,
poor Woman, they kept up in her Chamber, and persuaded her, that her appearing below Stairs might be prejudicial to her Health, and that every thing went on well, and her
Customers
appeared all very much pleased with their Entertainment: So that she seldome came into the
Bar,
unless now and then on a
Market-day
or so, or at a CLUB-SUPPER, when it was necessary for her to pass some
Accounts.
The Rogues had indeed some Reason to say, she was misled and abused by the Old Servants, if they judged from the result of their own Conduct, for they found she was a perfect easie Woman; and if her
Tenants
and
Customers
were but pleased with their Usage, she seldome enquired further, and they took special Care that none of the Old Servants might come near her, and stifled all Letters by the Post when they suspected the Hand Writing, for fear she shou'd get any Intelligence of the true State of the
House.
They were taking all other Methods they could think on to make the Game sure, when they differed among themselves about the Means, and to the great Satisfaction of the Town, fell together by the Ears,
Nab,
like an ungrateful Slut as she was, had not that regard to the Advancement
Bob
had been a Means to promote her to; and perhaps there was something in it more than ordinary:
Bob
was on the decline, aged Fifty-five, and upwards; of a temperate and phlegmatick Constitution.
Harry
was in the meridian of his Days; a robust young Dog, full of Life and Fire, with a vigorous Shape, strong Back, and hale Complexion, fed high, and had an amorous Soul of his own. The Rogue has good Blood in his Veins too, but no more the Son of old
HARRY
than I am of
Jupiter.
The old Man disowns his Proceedings, and says, he always feared he would come to some violent End, from his turbulent disobedient Spirit. That his Mother, rest her Soul, dreamt of a
Comet
the Night she was delivered of him, and could never govern him as he shou'd be. Nay, you must know the young Knave took up a Belt against his own Father once at a WRESTLING, and threw him out of the
Ring.
But to proceed.
Harry,
by these strong Persuasions, drew
Nab
into his Party: Not that she has many
Babies
to be seen in her Eyes, for they have for some Years past, displayed but a very dull Water, yet the Jade had a feeling Conception of the foregoing Qualifications, and there was an excellent Character stirring of his singular Talent that Way.
Nab Evesdropt
dropp'd all that pass'd between the
VVidow
and
Bob,
and gave
Harry
an Account still; and took all Opportunities to improve Things to his Advantage, for I should have told you, that
Nab,
according to
Bob
's Prediction, was by this Time become a Lady; and I can assure you, valued herself not a little upon it: She looked as much above her former
Occupation,
as an
Upstart 'Squire
does above a
Hack,
when he has dipt the ANTIENT SEAT, for a Gilt Chariot, and a Pair of
Swiss Tails. Nab
was
Hand and Glove
with the
VVidow,
and not a Pin could be stuck right, if it was not of
Nab
's doing; for
Nab
had been well brought up, and could handle her Needle, tiff up a Fall below, or do any other Work, as well as Drudgery; tho' the BEESOM was indeed the most exquisitely adapted to her Hands of any other Perquisite of her Office.
Nab
kept the
VVidow's Purse,
and bought
Perfumes, Powder,
and
Patches,
&c. and made many a round Penny of her Markettings: She had a Liquorish Tooth of her own, and loved a Cordial at her Heart, which she always posted in her Bill of Incidents: They say 'twas pretty large at the
VVidow's
Death.
There were other of the Female Servants at the INN violently attached to
Harry
's Person, through the Impression of his smug Countenance, and brawny Shoulders: No
Page
cou'd swallow
Quince-Marmalet
more greedily, than these
Simpering Baggages
did the Complimental Addresses of the young
Brazier;
every one believing, like
Don John
's six Wives,
That she was the VVoman!
and each putting herself forward, with the greatest Address to serve him, and render him gracious in the Eyes of the
VVidow:
This it is to have the Reputation of being what we call
a VVoman's Man: Bob,
with all his Politick Airs, and Set Faces, could not conjure himself into the Womens Graces, and
Harry
had a favourable Gift beyond all the Magick of his
VVand. Harry
wou'd Dance with them on the Green, play at
Drop-Glove, Stool-Ball,
and the like; which
Bob
was too feeble and stiff in the Hams for; and could only figh that he had introduced such a Smock-faced young
VVhoresbird
to Supplant him.
Thus you see by what Measures
Harry
carried his Point, and engag'd the
Private Services
of these
Female Advocates,
whose short Triumph, and sudden Fall, is now the Subject of their Tears and Concern. Realy, the Fellow might be very happy, could he but lay aside Ambition, and confine himself to a rural kind of Life. The great Resort of Females his Reputation wou'd soon draw about him, could not but afford a very happy Prospect of Pleasure to one, who is by Nature fitlier qualified for the lacivious Drudgery of a
Seraglio,
than the Gravity of Publick Business. In short,
Harry
's a very pretty Fellow, and a boon Companion; but the Rogue was so near sacrificing his Country; he's never to be trusted at the INN more, if he comes off no worse.
I must not forget, that I promised you an Account of the present State thereof. I concluded with telling you of the several
Changes
made at the INN, and what was likely to ensue.
Charles,
the
Head-Ostler,
and
Ned Topsail,
as I hinted, are both restored to their Places: Honest
VVill Truby
has jostled that queer Fellow
Jack Squeamish,
out of his STEWARDSHIP; and
Frank Stirrup,
Son of old
Ralph
the
Cashkeeper,
has received the Keys of the COFFER again, from the reluctant Hands of
Nab
's enabled
Consort.
Every thing looks with a good Aspect, and the House begins to appear in its ancient Grandeur: You may remember in what a Plight you left us; Solitary and Disconsolate; our Credit sunk; our Trade cramp'd and ruin'd; the
Country
Beggard; and the INN in the Hands of a Set of Arbritrary Fellows that drove on
Jehu-
like to our Destruction; our Friends affronted and discouraged; Honest Men put out of all, and none but a parcel of indefeasible Raskals preferr'd, who deserved hanging for their known Zeal to young
Shute:
But you will now find us with smiling Countenances, chearful Spirits, and composed Minds. We could hardly speak before for fear of our
Taskmasters;
but we dare now Nose those Villains that used to gibe us. Men of Integrity are only looked on at the INN, and to have been well attached to the New LANDLORD, is the best Argument for present Merit.
Robin Bold,
the Plummer,
Dick File-dust,
the Smith,
Nick Silver-Tongue,
the Lapidary, and the rest of the honest Lads that stood titely for him at the last WRESTLING, are brought into Play again, and are ready to take up a
Cudgel
on the
same side
whenever Occasion offers. They threaten us hard in some Parts of the
Country,
but we have as good as carried the
Belt
in this
Town
already almost two to one; and we doubt not but to shew 'em fair Play for it every where else: We have a Parcel of mettled Lads that have been used to Sport, and are not afraid of a broken Head or two, if it comes to the Push.
You may remember, I always told you
Things
could not last long as they went on; and 'tis confirmed what I told you in my First, that the
VVidow
designed to have made great Alterations at the
INN,
had she recovered. 'Tis likewise as certain, that they broke her Heart among them, by discovering one anothers Rogueries, when they fell out. Poor Woman! they had harrass'd her so for 3 Years together, and made her break her Words often with her honest
Friends
and
Tenants,
that when she came once to reflect, it cast her into such a deep Melancholy, as carried her precipitately to the Grave. In her last Intervals, she entered into the following
Soliloquy,
to this Effect,
"Unhappy Woman! have I for this so long eat the Bread of Carefulness? Took Pains early and late to promote a Trade, and gain Reputation to the INN, on purpose to make all thy
Tenants
and
Customers
easie and happy? And is all my Trouble and Care come to this at last? It was not so, says she, in the Days of my old Servants: My Affairs went well then; and nothing I undertook but was Successful. I had a Reputation far and near, and was esteemed and courted even by my very Adversaries: My Tenants and Customers were perpetually Rejoicing; but I fear I have now given them too great an Occasion for Sorrow. Could I recal a little Time,
But I shall ne'er outlive it;
I wou'd endeavour to remove the Cause, and make them all easie again. But this is reserved for Heaven and my Successor: Tell my poor
People
I dye theirs; and yet I am sorry I cannot do more to redress them before I depart.
This said, she turned about, and with a Sigh breathed out her Soul to him that gave it.
Were these Fellows capable of Correction, sure this would have some effect on them: But I despair of ever seeing them shew the least Signs of Grace and Repentance.
You have heard how they wou'd have insinuated themselves into Mr. WRIGHT'S Favour, and what a fawning and cringing they used at first, but when they saw he was not to be cajoled, and made a very just Distinction of their Proceedings toward him, by clearing the
House
of them; they presently changed their Notes, and are forming a Cabal against his Conduct.
The rewarding the long and eminent Services of honest
John Trusty,
is one of the greatest
Cuts
to 'em of all; for tho' they bear the rest with Spleen and Impatience enough, yet there is in this a double Portion of Acrimony.
John
was the Honour and Support of the old
Servants,
and the Terror and Disgrace of the
New: John
caried the CAUSE against Old
Savage
for many Years together, to the great Disadvantage of their Idol Young
Shute. John
refused to Countenance their Schemes in making the Composition, and rather chose to retire out of the Country, than breath the same Air with such Villains as seemed to have abandoned all Faith and Honour, and were driving at the Ruin of their Country. And if that Raskal
Slyboots
had nothing else to answer but the Persecution and ill Treatment of this worthy Man, that were enough never to have him forgiven.
How easie it is to guess the Rage and Ferment these Fellows are in at Mr. WRIGHT's glorious Proceedings. They say,
he begins too soon, moves too fast, and that this cannot last long,
with other such rediculous Stuff: But these are rather their Wishes than their Sentiments; both which are as much below his Resentment, as the senceless Reflection of the Party. He came here to govern, and chose rather to shew them, that he saw no Reason to conceal his Resentment, nor to continue Men about him whom he cou'd not chuse but be uneasie at; and if they have any Modesty, they ought to believe themselves obnoxious, and make a silent Retreat. That there was more Sincerity and Justice in opening himself freely at first, and letting them see he had no Reason to disguise himself, than to act in Deference to their Judgment, or have any regard to the censure of People he had so little reason to value. They Mistake, he has both too much Courage and too much Honesty to endeavour to veil his Conduct; or proceed with the least regard to their empty Commendations:
Hipocrisie
was Property a rather becoming the last Three Years, than the Prudence, Justice, Honour, and excellent Management of the New LANDLORD, whose
Rule
is TO REWARD HIS FRIENDS, DO JUSTICE TO HIS ENEMIES; AND FEAR NONE.
They are endeavouring to possess the People that he designs to curtail the Dignity of the INN; by reducing the Gates two Foot narrower in Circumference; to prohibit the
Eating of Beef;
abridge the Servants Wages; and allow them only Small Beer at their Victuals; and finally, that he intends to take down the
Steeple,
and employ the
Stones
and
Rubbish
to make a
Fence
for the
Conventicle,
with other preposterous
Cant.
Then to give terrible Ideas of his Person. They represent him with a furious stern Look, and a Head like a
Dragon;
with Scales and Fins like a Fish, and with such like incredible Stuff endeavour to make an Impression on the People; but let them go on, when they have
Lyed
till they are weary of it the
Banter
will end in their own Shame and Confusion.
I could enlarge egregiously on his admirable Qualities; the great Temperance, Justice, Candour and Moderation of his Temper; but I shall omit it till a more favourable Opportunity, having already almost fill'd up my Scrole.
I had almost forgot to tell you, that some unlucky Knaves, in a Picture spread privately about, have drawn poor
Harry
in
Deep Mourning,
with the LEAGUE in one Hand, and a
Halter
in the other. The
Hangman
carrying an
Axe
before him, with the
Edge
toward him. In the upper Copartment is the Gallows
hung
in
Black-Bayes
for
Arthur Skipkennel, Matt. the Tavern-Boy, Con,
and some of the rest of them,
&c.
I am yours,
&c.
FINIS.