THE DISCOVERY: OR, The SQUIRE turn'd FERRET.
An Excellent New BALLAD.
To the TUNE of
High Boys! up go we; Chevy Chase;
Or what you please.
Heu me! per Urbem (nam pudet tanti mali)
Fabula quanta fui!
HOR.
WESTMINSTER:
Printed by A. CAMPBELL, near
New Palace-Yard;
for T. WARNER, at the
Black-Boy
in
Pater-noster-Row,
and Sold by the Booksellers. 1727. [Price 6
d.
]
Cunicularii or The Wise men of Godliman in Consultation
They held their Talents most adrait
For any Mystical Exploit
A
The Danceing Master or Praeternatural Anatomist.
B
An Occult Philosopher searching into the Depth of things.
C
The Sooterkin Doctor astonish'd.
D
The Guilford Rabbet Man Midwife.
E
The Rabbet getter.
F
The Lady in the ftran.
G
The Nurse or Rabbet Dresser.
THE DISCOVERY: OR, The SQUIRE turn'd FERRET.
An Excellent New BALLAD.
To the TUNE of
High Boys! up go we; Chevy Chase;
Or what you please.
I.
M OST true it is, I dare to say,
E'er since the Days of
Eve,
The weakest Woman sometimes may
The wisest Man deceive.
II.
For
D
nt
circumspect, sedate,
A
Machiavel
by Trade,
Arriv'd Express, with News of Weight,
And thus, at Court, he said.
III.
At
Godliman,
hard by the
Bull,
A Woman, long thought barren,
Bears
Rabbits,
—Gad! so plentiful,
You'd take her for a Warren.
IV.
These Eyes, quoth He, beheld them clear:
What, do ye doubt my View?
Behold this Narrative that's here;
Why, Zounds! and Blood! 'tis true.
V.
Some said that
D
gl
s
sent should be,
Some talk'd of
W
lk
r
's Merit,
But most held, in this Midwifery,
No Doctor like a FERRET.
VI.
But
M
l
n
x,
who heard this told,
(Right wary He and wise)
Cry'd sagely, 'Tis not safe, I hold,
To trust to
D
nt
's Eyes.
VII.
A Vow to God He then did make
He would himself go down,
St. A
d
re
too, the Scale to take
Of that
Phoenomenon.
VIII.
He order'd then his Coach and Four;
(The Coach was quickly got 'em)
Resolv'd this
Secret
to explore,
And search it to the
Bottom.
IX.
At
Godliman
they now arrive,
For Haste they made exceeding;
As Courtiers should, whene'er they strive
To be inform'd of Breeding.
X.
The good Wife to the Surgeon sent,
And said to him, Good Neighbour,
'Tis pity that two Suqires so Gent—
should come and lose their Labour.
XI.
The Surgeon with a
Rabbit
came,
But first in Pieces cut it;
Then slyly thrust it up
that same,
As far as Man could put it.
XII.
(Ye
Guildford
Inn-keepers take heed
You dress not such a
Rabbit,
Ye Poult'rers eke, destroy the Breed,
'Tis so unsav'ry a-Bit.)
XIII.
But hold! says
Molly,
first let's try,
Now that her Legs are ope,
If ought within we may descry
By Help of Telescope.
XIV.
The Instrument himself did make,
He rais'd and level'd right,
But all about was so opake,
It could not aid his Sight.
XV.
On Tiptoe then the Squire he stood,
(But first He gave Her Money)
Then reach'd as high as e'er He cou'd,
And cry'd, I feel a CONY.
XVI.
Is it alive?
St. A
d
re
cry'd;
It is; I feel it stir.
Is it full grown? the Squire reply'd;
It is; see here's the FUR.
XVII.
And now two Legs
St. A
d
re
got,
And then came two Legs more;
Now fell the Head to
Molly
's Lot,
And so the Work was o'er.
XVIII.
The Woman, thus being brought to Bed,
Said, to reward your Pains,
St. A
nd
re
shall dissect the Head,
And thou shalt have the Brains.
XIX.
He lap'd it in a Linnen Rag,
Then thank'd Her for Her Kindness;
And cram'd it in the Velvet Bag
That serves his R
l H
XX.
That Bag—which
Jenny,
wanton Slut,
First brought to foul Disgrace;
Stealing the Papers thence she put
Veal-Cutlets
in their Place.
XXI.
O! happy would it be, I ween,
Could they these
Rabbits
smother;
Molly
had ne'er a Midwife been,
Nor she a shameful Mother.
XXII.
Why has the Proverb falsly said
Better two Heads than one;
Could
Molly
hide this
Rabbit
's Head,
He still might shew his own.
FINIS.