VORTIGERN AND ROWENA; A
COMI-TRAGEDY.
S. GOSNELL, Printer, Little Queen Street, Holborn.
PASSAGES SELECTED BY DISTINGUISHED PERSONAGES, ON THE GREAT LITERARY TRIAL OF VORTIGERN AND ROWENA;
A Comi-Tragedy.
"WHETHER IT BE—OR BE NOT FROM THE IMMORTAL PEN OF SHAKSPEARE?"
VOLUME II.
SEVENTH EDITION.
—"Open me a huge Wardrobe aboundinge in motlie habittes, and marke howe fantasticallie poore mortals will arraie themselves!"
VORT. and ROW.
LONDON: PRINTED FOR J. RIDGWAY, NO. 170, OPPOSITE OLD BOND STREET, PICCADILLY. 1807.
IRELAND versus SHAKESPEAR!!!
By the COURT.
IT having been effectually argued, and demurred on the part of the DEFENDANT, that no questionable points of
Literature,
any more than questionable points of law, can in
equity
be pressed to an hasty decision;
It is Ordered,
that the VERDICT be not received, on this important cause, until the whole SUFFRAGES, already tendered, or intended to be tendered, in said cause, be duly received, and solemnly recorded!
POLONIUS
Die Veneris
12o , 1796.
CONTENTS.
A
Amelia, Princess 37
A—d—n, Sir P—p—r 13
A—kl—d, Lady 74
Atk—n, Mr. C. 102
B
B—lf—st, Earl of 3
B—kl—y, Hon. Capt. G. 83
B—ng—m, Lady E. 6
B—ll—r, Sir F. 7
B—st—w, Mrs. 28
B—rw—l, Mrs. 36
B—th, Marquis of 77
B—v—rie, Hon. Mrs. 78
B—k—h—m, M-q-s of 45
B—g—ss, Lady Sm—h 48
Br—d—l, Mr. 63
B—r, Bishop of 69
C
C—ss of ****** 4
C—m—lf—d, Lord 94
C—wth—ne, Colonel 5
C-mpb-ll, Lady Caroline 8
C—p—g—y, Mrs. 14
Cl—v—g, Lady Augusta 44
C—nw—s, V. Admiral 47
Ch—m—d—y, C—ss 52
C—v—y, Earl of 61
C—mbe, Alderman 91
D
D—l—v—l, Lord 67
D-d-y and W-d, Lady 39
D-n-g-l, Marchioness of 42
E
Egr—m—t, Earl of 9
Es—x, Countess of 10
Ex—r, Countess of 24
Er—l, Earl of 73
G
Gr—nv—le, Lady 12
Gl—r, Duke of 25
Gl—r, Princess S-ph-a of 80
G—rd—r, Adm. Sir A. 59
G—f—d, Countess of 66
G—ry, Sir William 81
H
H—st—gs, Mrs. 34
H—rl—y, Right Hon T. 41
H—pst—y, Sir John 53
H—g—st—n, Lady 54
H—th—c—te, Lady 104
H—y, Hon. Miss 99
K
K—p—l, Miss 68
L
L—mb—n, Lady Ann 64
L—ds, Duke of 11
L—t—n, Marquis of 19
L—sh—n, Alderman 21
Lasc—ls, Prince 23
L—w—s, Sir W-tk-n 51
L—t—l, Lady Eliz. 97
L—sd—le, Earl of 85
M
M—n—rs, Lady 60
M—lb—gh, D—ss of 50
M—ld—n, Lord 49
M—lms—y, Lord 87
M—nch—r, Duke of 79
M—y—r, the Lord 29
M—c—d, Major Gen. 38
M—lb—ne, Lady 31
M—ra, Earl of 1
M—nt—gu, Mrs. 2
M—d, Earl of 15
Mil—g—n, Lady 18
M—ll—s, Mrs. 27
M—l—g, Miss 95
N
N—w—stle, Dutchess of 16
N—r—h, Mrs. 20
N-th-b-d, Duchess of 84
N—th, Hon. Mrs. 82
O
O—sl—w, Hon. T. 29
Orf—d, Earl of 30
P
P—lt—y, Sir James 33
P— of — 57
P—lt—y, Sir William 89
P—ck—t, Ald—n 103
Q
Q—sb—y, Duke of 55
R
R—r, Bishop of 17
R—ck—ts, Lady E—th 46
R—, Hon Miss 72
R—lle, Lord 96
R—nd—ph, Rev. Dr. 75
S
S—mp—n, Lady 101
S—w—l—gh, Madame 90
S—ym—r, Lady H. 92
St—f—d, M—n—ss of 76
St—rt, Miss 88
St—t, Mrs. 58
Sn—w, Miss 62
T
T—d, Lady John 22
T-ll-m-che, Lady Bridget 32
T—yl—r, Mr. M. A. 43
T—yl—r, Mrs. M A. 56
T—yl—r, Mrs. M. A.
(Her second suffrage)
86
T—r, Sir G. P. 65
T—rn—y, Mr. 98
W
W—ts—n, Bishop 93
W—ts—n, Ald. Brook 35
W—lb—f—ce, Mr. 100
W—r, Sir G—df—y 71
Wh—tb—d, sen. Mr. 40
W—l—gh—y os E—by, Lady 70
PASSAGES SELECTED AS SUFFRAGES ON THE TWENTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.
CI.—Earl of M—RA.
"—Commende me to a busie COUNT for a bustlinge worlde! One minute will he wooe you gallantlie at a faire Dame's toilette on his humble knee—and flie the next to bende a prouder creste than his owne, in the face of the Lordes Senate-house!—You may always meete SERASKIN at one turn or other of human extremes. He will with zeale overflowinge stop to pleade the cause of the poore captive, while conveying the gauge of honourable defiance to a proude PRINCE in aide of one, whom chaunce has
barred
from
regal blood!
—Fight will he himselfe most mansullie; but, as you prize the credit of his valoure, let it be done under his own guidance special.—Punctilious is he as noble; so that he will sence with the Sages of his Sov'raine's Council untill the moone's at the full, upon the sense constructive of their own decrees!—Such outwarde workinges sway this compound man, whose minde within moves but for others goode, which dothe his owne felicitie embrace!"
PAGE 321.—GENUINE.
CII.—Mrs. M—NT—GU.
"Marry, goode Dame! but you maie well deride the partial boones of Nature, when a left-handed imitation of taste dothe so currentlie counterfeite her handiworkes!—With the redundance of mortal frailties establish me thy faire fame on matchless singularitie!—Criticise where thou can'st not comprehend; and satirize where the weak worlde doth foolishlie admire.—Like the matron of
Mantua,
garter thy partie-coloured leg below the knee; and mount on the listes of meeke-cyed Charitie, by feedinge with dates and dainties one day in the Kalendar, all the sootie race of Chimnie-sweepinge boyes, that they may enjoie the luxurie of their harde fate through the remainder of the yeare!"
PAGE 123.—
Not
GENUINE.
CIII.—Earl of B—LF—ST.
"Methinks, good STEPHAND, those of my father's house did take me for a
Bulle
of
Irishe
extraction; for they set curs to bait
me
into madness, while more tenderlie did they select an ambling
Scotte,
of
Gallowaye
breed, for the merriment of my junior brother!—But since they drove me to the altar of sacrifice, I did adventure to take with me a help-meet, and there, with the aide of pious Priest, I made my maiden
Dr. PARR, whom the fortunate Mr. IRELAND has named EDITOR elect, for this unique Comi-Tragedy, threw down his pipe, when he came to this miserably begotten PEN, and owned himself for the moment, a DISSENTER from the new SHAKSPEREAN faith!
BELLE
faste,
by a knot tied with my tongue, which dothe now challenge all their wise wittes to untie againe with their teethe!"
PAGE 63.—
Not
GENUINE.
CIV.—C—ss of ******.
"Why was KARKMENA prodigalie stored
"With all the wiles which wanton rounde her sexe,
"But to displaie in peering woman hoode
"Supremacie's fell power? Oh, marke ye well
"Howe she dothe turne meeke Nature in her course;
"Make diadems the royal temples chafe;
"Tie with a busie hande the gordian knotte
"Of others love, that she (of human woe,
"Insatiate destinie) may cut in twaine
"The silken ligatures of mortal blisse!
"Her features with her voice are well attuned,
"True to the varyinge mischiefes of her minde!
"Like the first polish'd
Serpente,
that seduced
"The easie faithe of ADAM's wedded love,
"A more than Angel's form she can assume,
"And wooe in scraph straines the creature doom'd
"To drinke the dulcet poison of her tongue,
"And fall her 'g
iled sacrifice!"
PAGE 187.—GENUINE.
TWENTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.
CV.—Colonel C—WTH—NE.
"—Varnishe me doublie over by a special Courte of Law Martial, or no more weare I a coate of maile i' the King's tented fielde!—I have gone about to indite me a speeche that shall be-puzzle the bie-standers, and confounde the clumsie imagination of mine enemie!—Let him doe now as he liste, I may defie his malice to make me more or lesse, than the thinge in veritie I am!—To mine owne bright valoure am I indebted as a man of armes!—I have seene much powder wasted on a sun-shinie day!—thankes to my genius in the arte of war, I am also right conversant i' the quick step to the retreate, and, by an eare refined, I now can nice distinction make, betwixte the "
Dinner Tattoo,
" and "
Go to bed, Tom!
"
PAGE 51.—GENUINE.
CVI.—Lady E— B—NG—M.
"Oh fie, my quondam
Coz. of Norfolk!
—Did you not practise on my girlishe vanitie, when I was depicted the fair SHEBA to your Grace's wiser SOLOMON?—You told me I was then
"in all my glorie;"
but, alack, no sooner did they taunte me with the honours they conferred, than my weake woman's frailtie rebelled against the
bloode
of HOWARD's loftie race!—Why did I sweare to love the man by others eyes thus chosen?—With soules as much at variance as our saithe, what could I better, than the latter lose, to save the former, and breake the odious webbe, wherein, like sillie flie, I was unwittinglie ensnared?"
PAGE 77.—
Not
GENUINE.
CVII.—Sir F— B—LL—R.
"This trottinge from Courte to Courte, terme after terme, befittes not my humour well!—But since I am sworne an Administrator of the Lawes, I will see them most wholesomelie dispensed to all offendinge creatures, male and female!—The knaves incorrigible will I stringe like ropes of onions; and to teache conjugal obeisance to womankind, their measure of chastisement will I decree to be dealt at their husbandes handes by the
Rule of
THUMBE!"
PAGE 94.—GENUINE.
CVIII.—Lady CAROLINE C—MPB—LL.
"I did a plaine untitled man espouse,
"(With wealthe, like his own mountaines high amassed
"That I might lead the pliante husbande bounde
"To vassalage eterne!—To me he lookes
"With lowlie eye, as to the sacred founte
"From whence his borrowed lustre is derived.—
"Whene'er I deign to commune—'tis not oft—
"His greedie eare mine accents dothe devoure,
"As falling from anointed dignitie!
"He, with the prating worlde, presumes to saie,
"That I am shaped and featured in the moulde
"Of Grecian loveliness:—but, Tineallie trained
"Above the incense of the lower spheres,
"See how I soare beyond poor mortals' praise,
"In proude supremacie of state!"
PAGE II.—GENUINE.
TWENTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.
CIX.—Earl of EGR—M—T.
—"When they made such
Lordes
as this same Compte
Hugolto,
they knewe their trade well, and wrought with the best materials!—Marry, Sir, you trace not him through the foiles, and doubles of your Court purlieus, but finde him on his owne domaine, like one who shrinks not at the Shrieve's officer, nor feares the reproaches of a tenantrie tortured upon rackrentes!—Although the learned languages be as familiar to him as plaine-dealing, he offends no unlettered man with his
ecce homos!
or
tu quoques!
—The felicitie of all Heaven's creatures is his delighte, and the voice of gratitude attends it—even his houndes challenge him at viewe, on the score of his benevolence!—Whatever be the portion of his failings, the frailtie of man's nature will reasonably account for it!"
PAGE 165.—GENUINE.
CX.—Countess of ES—X.
—"On her visit to
Algieres,
they did elect her Empress of the gaudie
Maccaws!
—since which, plumes, and cheekes of various hues, have mightlie adorned her!—After this, the doctrines of
"
Painted paste-boards
"—"
Courtlie paper.
"—Mr. CAPEL LOFT, confessedly one of our most
old-fashioned
Critics on the immortal Bard, says decidedly,
"that these two passages allude to the new art of gambling with CARDS, which crept into BRITAIN at that period."
—We are apprehensive, however, that the learned Commentator has here been guilty of a little anachronism, as CARDS were certainly invented in the year 1390, to divert the melancholy of CHARLES VI. then King of France.
painted paste-b
ards
did she estudie under the learned
Jewes
in Palestine! strange trickes by slight of hande were then displaied to those her sisterhoode, who crossed her luckie palme i' the sillie hope of bettering their fortunes!—So that with her Lorde's
Courte dealinges,
and her own dexterous dealinges in
"
Painted paste-boards
"—"
Courtlie paper.
"—Mr. CAPEL LOFT, confessedly one of our most
old-fashioned
Critics on the immortal Bard, says decidedly,
"that these two passages allude to the new art of gambling with CARDS, which crept into BRITAIN at that period."
—We are apprehensive, however, that the learned Commentator has here been guilty of a little anachronism, as CARDS were certainly invented in the year 1390, to divert the melancholy of CHARLES VI. then King of France.
Courtlie paper,
they turne the worlde right merrilie around them!"
PAGE 13.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXI.—The Duke of L—DS.
—"In good truth he hathe been piouslie nurtured; for no sooner did his sainted mother bring him forthe, than falling sound asleepe, she dreamed of sucklinge his infant Grace upon the
milkie way!
hence of Christian mildness doe all his manners gentlie smack.—And yet he 'll quarrel not either with a
Grace,
or a
Muse
of fire; nay, he can whisper a light thing gallantlie to a female in the darke, and tag a
mendicant Epilogue,
to chaunte an half-damned
Plaie-wrighte
out of the tortures of purgation!"
PAGE 12.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXII.—Lady GR—NV—LE.
"Though fortune on her lovelie browe hath placed
"In proudest jewelrie the wreathe of state,
"Marke with what grace upon her gentle breaste
"The pearle of Christian charitie appeares,
"More chastelie brighte, and radiantlie pure,
"Than all that Courtlie diadems displaie!"
PAGE 88.—GENUINE.
TWENTY-SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.
CXIII.—Sir P—P—R A—D—N.
—"Marrie, Sir, I picked not up my common lawe as a pigeon dothe his pease, i' th' common fielde,—So will I throwe away an opinion hastilie for no man!—As everie case in pointe hathe of necessitie two sides, so hathe your
libelle constitutional
its
texte,
and
contexte;
out of which we sometimes make a third—to witte—your
mar-texte!
—But I do demean myselfe to parlie thus; because it appertaineth unto me, as Master of the
Rolles
to our trustie Sov'raine Lorde the Kinge, to see that on the proper side his royal
breade
be gliblie
butter'd!
"
PAGE 12.—GENUINE.
CXIV.—Mrs. C—P—G—Y.
"She is as daintie a
wild-ducke
as ever haunted the lake of a
decoy
—and, once on winge, arrest her giddie flighte who can! She hath the witte most wiselie to enacte whatever follie vanitie dothe sette before her; and a charitie so Christian-like, that she dothe barter fine foode and raiment for the emptie scraps of peddling poetasters!—Musique and farabands doe so invite her, that, with her lattice open, she'll sit through moon-light nights, unmasqued, to hear the straines of amorous serenaders, and come sorthe next morn the
Arch'ress
DIAN, displaieing a leg most continentlie buskined! Oh, Sir, so rarelie dothe she plaie these prettie prankes, that halfe the gapeinge worlde are cheated in beliefe that they have seen one angel upon earthe
Stark
mad!"
PAGE 29.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXV.—Earl of M—D.
—"To moulde a sturdie race of mortal men, you must fashion them from materials coarse and impenetrable!—Let there be none, which the teare of dulleyed Charitie dothe melt to womanlie compassion;—but imitate the Stoique fortitude of him, whose breaste is harder than a ten weekes froste, and which no human breathe e'er thawed into benevolence!"
PAGE 103.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXVI.—Duchess of N—W—STLE.
"Oh, throughout Nature's workes, what havocke wilde
"Dothe one dire shafte of destinie ordaine!
"—If 'twere from state alone that I had fallen,
"This breaste had never swolne with griefe or care;
"But I am humbled from the crowned height
"Of wedded love, and, with my Lorde, have loste
"All that a woman's harte could holde, or prize!"
PAGE 107.—GENUINE.
TWENTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.
CXVII.—Bishop of R—R.
—"I meete the prattling ABBOTTE of
Glastonburie,
just as he had gotten the thorne i' the fleshe by meddling more busilie with the
Lawe
than the
Gos
and though a preacher of
obedience passive
in other men, he bore the smart of his own sufferings a
er the manner of the priesthoode—intolerantlie!—He was clothed in
lambe-
skin throughout, signifying, I wotte, that he should become
belle-wether
to the reverend flocke.—Journieing a little onward, I espied me the counterfeit resemblance of his worshippe,
fagotted
at the public Market Crosse, in full
pontificalibus!
—Marrie, quothe I, my neighbours, but this looketh like a
burninge shame,
to make ye of such
combustible
HOLINESS, a lighte to lighten the Gentiles!"
PAGE 321.—GENUINE.
CXVIII.—Lady MIL—G—N.
"I praie you, dearest mother, thinke again!
"You, as the childe of fortune, being 'trothed
"When the wilde hey-daie of the bloode was paste,
"Knewe not, from crossinge of a virgin love,
"A frenzie that no medicine can reache,
"Save Time's oblivious anodyne; and which
"Dothe spreade dire chillinges through the veines,
"To palsie life's enjoyment!"
PAGE 66.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXIX.—Marquis of L—T—N.
—"Time's chroniclers do tell us, that, practising on the weaknesse seminine of the Lorde UDROSCO, the slie knaves o' th'
Courte
eajoled him to holde the darkened lanthorne, while they did trie to filche the diadem from the browe of their sicke Master. Afterwards he was so bedazzled by this peeringe of a meteor lighte, as to follow it o'er unsounde soile, where in bogge and penance dothe he still remaine, far from the ray of rising, or of settinge sunne!"
PAGE 22.—GENUINE.
CXX.—Mrs. N—TH.
—"Saie, who hath seene
"GERSTINA, late from
Mantua
return'd!
"I marvel if her travaile hathe caste off
"The midnight 'witcheries of lustful
plaie,
"Which held her minde by sascination bounde?—
"Or if th'incautious care of vanitie
"By prudence hathe been wiselie sealed against
"The dulcet poison of a flatterer's tale?
"Thus error's wayward pathe may be trod backe,
"And grace attend the foote-steps yet to come!"
PAGE 54.—
Not
GENUINE.
TWENTY-NINTH DAY's TRIAL.
CXXI.—Alderman L—SH—N.
—"More headstrong are these fellowe
Cittes
of mine, than so manie Spannishe mules unbitted!—They delighte themselves as muche in a roasted
Aldermanne
on their hustinges, as a barbicued pigge in the eramminge ides of November!—And here am I, the representative sworne of such gluttonizing varlettes; compelled to bow to these stockes obeisantlie, or be dismissed their Senate-service!—make strange speeches to amuse their wilde-goose fancies!—eate with them through sirlines colde, and pasties hotte!—nay
eate mine own wordes
till they nearlie choake me, and all will not content them!—A plague on such servitude, saie I, where our men of
Liverie
doe lorde it o'er their betters, and keepe their
Civicke
Masters thus at painful watch, and warde!"
PAGE 76.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXXII.—Lady JOHN T—D.
—"For durance shorte
"
Astrina
's radiancie was in eclipse,
"Like the faire plannette of a clouded sphere;
"But when her diske unveiled againe its orbe,
"Forthe shotte its stream of lighte, and purer shone,
"To everie eye that gazed upon her beautie!"
PAGE 83.—GENUINE.
CXXIII.—PRINCE LASC—S.
—"Pooh! pooh!—Nature could never mean, in wanton mockerie, to stampe me so like the thinge in veritie I am not!—Sir, I was smuggled from my
cradle royal
in the unfortunate hour of darknesse.—But, be that as it maie, each line of this faire face something
majestique
dothe denote; for women far and neare doate fondlie on my PRINCELIE
seeming!
—These finde it on my bloominge cheeke!—some in the nose of
regal
arche!—and others in each looke, and lineament, that marke superior birthe!—nay, there are those, who doe discern similitude of our
House
i' the leathern vest that dothe my rear environ!—True it is, that all these dignities are but ill provided for by subject-like revenues: yet must they be uphelde; for who, yelep'd the shadowe of a
Prince,
could baselie crouch beneathe the slender substance of a
Gentleman!
"
PAGE 2.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXXIV.—Countess of EX—R.
—"Alacke! is lordlie grandeur nought but this,—to live thus under vaulted roofes, too vaste for human wantes, and see poore folke pent up in heapes 'neath strawless houseings?—When they did tell me I was to be a Ladie noblie happy, I did expecte to holde more frequent commune with this worlde's peace; but, well a daie! time past I saw more innocencie 'mid the lowlie walkinges of my father's sheepe, than now I finde through all the hurley-
Burleigh
scenes of proude man's race!"
PAGE 12.—GENUINE
THIRTIETH DAY's TRIAL.
CXXV.—Duke of GL—R.
"Lo! there walkes forthe the mildest DUKE in
Milan!
"But that I knowe the stuffe of which he 's made,
"One might have sworne it on the crosse
"The Destinies had tied him to a distaffe!
"Though he ne'er vaulted on th' embattled plaine,
"He hathe a soule bestirringe him to armes,
"Leagued with the social softnesse of a minde
"That joies in human peace.—No Courte caballes,
"Nor feudes of mal-contents doe him delighte:
"So to a PRINCE, thus lifting up the MAN,
"My harte right willinglie dothe pay obeisance!"
PAGE 77.—GENUINE.
CXXVI.—Hon. T. O—SL—W.
—"I charge you, fellowes, lay not uncourtlie handes on me!—Should you finde me not the softe sleepie sonne of a
Bedchamber
LORDE, tosse me in a Tailor's blankette!—Though I maie lacke vaste possessions of landes and beeves, I am a huge inheritor of pride, and that 's enough for me:—so looke too 't—for he must have more follie than doth appertain to my share who contends with the first begotten of a race, so riche in oftentation human!"
PAGE 65.—GENUINE.
CXXVII.—Mrs. M—LLS.
—"And this be a LORDE's mansion, I'd have you to knowe, that I and mine have beene housed in a better!—We knewe what was what before we did departe from
Merrie Wakefielde
to joine the Londonne Gentrie!—My goode man, and it like your Ladieship, was a
clothier,
and so it bechanced that I became so marvelouslie dressed!—For my parte, I like everie thinge that is goode for the outside, as well as within; and the best will be the best, after all!—Small as I appeare, and little as your Ladieship maie think it, I am worthe no lesse than ten thousand ducattes, simplie as I stand apparelled before you!"
PAGE 24.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXXVIII.—Mrs. BR—ST—W.
"By whim, or destinie, estrang'd from him
"Right heritor of all she hathe to give
"Of well-stored constancie, or wedded love,
"O! guarde her from the wiles which lurke arounde
"The zone of unprotected womanhoode,
"And shewe how gracefullie, in modest miene,
"Maternal habbittes do befitte her sexe.
"Still soaringe in her sphere, so maie this
Starre
"Which from the EAST hathe made its dazzlinge course,
"Serenelie sette within our westerne clime!"
PAGE 84.—GENUINE.
THIRTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.
CXXIX.—THE LORD M—Y—R.
—"This
Sir
KNIGHTE that would be, was a thrivinge baker of unleavened biscuite, and his countenance being combustiblie inclined, did take much fire at the mouthe of his own oven!—He banquetted sumptucuslie whole troopes of
Courtiers,
in vessels of sretted silver, in honour of his own nativitie, while poore men were crying aloud for bread-corne, which they were forbidden to taste, and therefore lamented the houre they were born!—His fellowe Cittes did proclaim in waggerie that he was himself but slacklie ba
ed; but that heeded he not, while he could contrive to gette a goodlie cutte at the Loafe of State, and thence lay up in store, the crumbes of his owne comforte!"
PAGE 49.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXXX.—Earl of ORF—D.
—"Why shoulde they make any one of God's fraile creatures a mightie man against his wille, when so many packes of hungrie knaves are huntinge nighte and daie for lordlie honoures!—A title is to me no more than a potte of founding mettal is when tied perforce to a poor curre's taile, and which, with all his mighte, he cannot shuffle off!—I had rather be an indentured binder of bookes, and stiche mine owne workes in humble coveringe of vellum, than the paramount
Duke
in
Palestine,
enrobed in golde, and ermine!"
PAGE 78.—
Not
GENUINE
CXXXI.—Lady M—LB—NE.
—"I marvelle how the
Lady
ELIBERT, who hathe seen
Time
's hour-glasse so oft turned o'er, dothe stille maintaine those lookes of lovelinesse without abatement!—One might as soone stand the forked flashes of a fierie skie sans blinkinge, as the autumnal radiance of her eye without thinking of the fruite forbidden!—If these meteors be permitted to holde so longe a course, what honest man's harte throughout
Messina
can be helde in reasonable subjection?"
PAGE 123.—GENUINE.
CXXXII.—Lady BRIDGET T—LL—M—CHE.
"Armed with the pointed wiles of woman's witte,
"Earlie the phantome
Pleasure
I have chaced
"Through all her anticke roundes; and if, perchance,
"The 'witchinge fugitive I did approache,
"I lack'd the skille her fleetinge course to staie!
"—The chequered variance of wedded life
"Nexte ruled this giddie harte of mine, and gave
"Abundantlie of joie and griefe!—Though laste,
"Too soone came
Sorrowe,
with a clouded skie,
"To marke the mother's melancholie sate,
"Who on one darlinge blisse had sealed her hope,
"And, ere it bloomed, behelde it t
ne away!"
PAGE 56.—GENUI
THIRTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.
CXXXIII.—Sir JAMES M— P—LT—Y.
"Tell me,
Bellostern,
did I not delineate their militarie exploites on the Continente, with marvellous circumstantiation? When we were cussed like frogges acrosse the dykes o' the Low Countries, sente I not over couriers to them of victories atchieved, and i' the face of the Senate, vouched I not the veritie of mine own Commentaries?—And howe for all those deedes have they repaide me? I asked but to be ennobled after the manner of others of like deserts, when they did renounce my suite who profitted of my service; so that I was compelled to become the founder of mine owne honours, by creating myselfe a Knighte of the BATHE!"
PAGE 66.—GENUINE.
CXXXIV.—Mrs. H—ST—GS.
—"Marke me that fictionne fretted on the clothe in golde, and priestlie purple! A tale it is in veriue, though here by holie fabuliste proclaimed!—She on the righte, with precious jewelrie bedecked, is the 'witching
Sheba,
who rose and journied with the Sunne, to visitte
Solomon
in all his glorie!—To winne him o'er to Eastern dalliance, see howe her pliante bodie she dothe bende ev'n to the grounde she sprang from!—and lo! her eyes by basselisques bequeathed, do rivette on his frame the silke-worme chaine she wroughte for his enthraldomme!"
PAGE 100.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXXXV.—Alderman B—K W—TS—N.
"My Warde of
If we may credit Mr. IRELAND, his
Coufin
SHAKSPEARE took an aversion to
Shoemakers,
and therefore he lets fly this sarcastic arrow at the CIVIC MOTE of CORDWAINERS!
Coblers,
revengeful of the
fin
I loste, are sworne devourers of the jowles of
Coddo,
with shoulders huge 'pertaininge!—These simple knaves of gluttonie, but little wotte that I did tempte the prowlinge
Sharke
to plaie with me i' the waters, that I mighte learne of him voracious artes aright;—and howe, like this purveyor of the deepe, to boulte whatever floated tempting to the eye!—I heede not then the shapeful limbe I loste—for, down the jawe capacious of a
Greenlande Whale
alike the gorged PROPHET would I hoppe, so I might gaine more worldlie wisdome by the dreade descente!"
PAGE 22.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXXXVI.—Mrs. B—RW—L.
—"Full well I knowe
"That men in piece-meales have their hartes composed
"To feede th'impassioned appetites they meet;
"But saie, shall I discharge my wedded vowe,
"When with his fraile infirmities I tooke
"This teeble Lorde of mine, and fondlie swore
"Even at the altarre's foote, I would endure them?
"Then let not malice multiplie misdeedes
"To 'tract my aching eye, which faine would turne
"To gaze on what his virtues do illumine!"
PAGE 134.—GENUINE.
THIRTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.
CXXXVII.—Princess AMELIA.
—"The regalle VINE
"Gives thus her laste faire blossomme to the sunne,
"E'en while its honoured branches doe displaie
"Ripe clusters temptinge to the luscious eye!
"Passe chillinge elements serenelie o'er,
"And leave no pallid blighte with power to tainte
"Such lovelie promise of autumnal fruite!"
PAGE 77.—GENUINE.
CXXXVIII.—Major-General M—C—D.
"I knowe the savage HUNTER well; like his owne HOUNDES he dothe himselfe delighte in
human bloode!
When he let slip his thirstful dogges of warre, he did insultinglie denounce my
northerne
nose as not well-sensed for the fielde! therefore, as village curie, must I pursue, and yelpinge marre the chace I cannot share!"
PAGE 54—
Not
GENUINE.
CXXXIX.—Lady D—D—Y and W—D.
"Touchinge at the samed Island of
Madeira,
the natives did courte her Excellencie to sojourne there, fancieing that their vintage might purple more richlie under her roseate influence! On this we gave our canvasse to the windes, lest our own
Britain
might itself be spoiled of a countenance, which argufied the better deedes of the
goode creature!
"
PAGE 100.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXL.—Mr. WH—TB—D, Sen.
—"This is he, who dothe an oylie beverage compounde, to cheere the honest vaslalles of our isle! Of liquor stoute he hoops ye countlesse caskes; though he makes no
if,
nor
butte,
in which to bung up his benevolence. He hathe a harte so faire abroache to silent charitie, that never can it reache the lees;—nay, looke at his verie beastes of burden!—do they not shine out the kindlie semblance of their master's face upon the polished surface of their well-sed skinnes?"
PAGE 23.—GENUINE.
THIRTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.
CXLI.—Right Hon. T. H—RL—Y.
"Well have they stamped VIRGISTERN father of the capitalle, whose heade
Dan
TIME has silvered o'er so honourablie in theire servitude! Unlike the cloudie-witted Cittes his fellowes, he taketh not his sleepe and foode as dull provocatives to eache other's joie; for, his commercial duties done, he hies him to the noble culture of his soile, and thus standes he admired in eache, the civicke championne, and the ruralle Lorde!"
PAGE 38.—GENUINE.
CXLII.—Marchioness of D—N—G—L.
"I'd sooner trundle turnippes through the streetes,
"Than beare menne's weaknesses at second hande
"Withoute the
Nurse
's cordial spice of gaine.
"She is alone
steppe-mother,
who o'er-steppes
"The punie offspringe of a former race,
"And bends them to that classe submissivelie,
"Where
Follie
lookes to finde her elder-borne!"
PAGE 3.—
Not
GENUIN
CXLIII.—Mr. M. A. T—L—R.
—"Trulie I was in lucke's way in havinge a father begotten before me!—yet what in mine infancie he did kindlie treasure up, cunninge menne would nowe beguile me of in manhoode!—No sooner had I ta'en the wrinkles out of these poore varlettes skinnes by wholesome provender, than they began to whet their wittes upon the coarsenesse of my kitchen diette! Marrie, one of theire
Stage Punnesters
did aske me, an I were not
Bodie
TAYLOR to ST. MICHAEL and all his ANGELS?—Moreover they did deride the golden architecqture of my Sire, and woulde faine have pulled downe with wantonne handes, what he, with
hodde
and
trowelle,
did so marvelouslie pile up!—So thought I fitte to breake with them, lest, by the friendlie prodigalitie of such hungrie knaves, I should myselfe be broken!"
PAGE 99.—GENUINE.
CXLIV.—Lady AUGUSTA CL—V—G.
"Courtes marr'd ROWENA not: though shininge there
"Preeminentlie graced, she onlie sighed
"To winne one inmate to her constante harte,
"And owne him Lorde of all her life to come!
"Her maiden hope fulfilled, how well she wore
"The pure, unsullied habitte of a wyfe!
"Which Nature form'd to sitte so lovelie on her!—
"Nexte came a motherre's newe, and deare delightes,
"When to her younge inherittores she gave
"All the delicious stores of love twice tolde
"Which, in caresses from their manlie Sire,
"She doatinglie had treasured up!"—
PAGE 55.—GENUINE.
THIRTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.
CXLV.—M—q—s of B—K—H—M.
"Upon the oiley surface of this lande
"Have I so rolled, and hugelie fattened,
"That my owne ponderous
temples
'gin to ache
"With the exceedinges of so vaste a surfeite!
"Nowe with a minde amphibioussie formed,
"I pine for other elements, and faine
"Would swaye a lordlie sceptre o'er the deepe,
"That in this liquid voide quite uncontrouled,
"A dreade
Leviathanne
I there might move!"
PAGE 66.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXLVI.—Lady E—TH R—CK—TS.
"I doe remember me, a faire, and noble maiden of
Padua,
so envied for her beautie, that some of her owne sexe did chronicle against her lovelinesse, tideings, false, as they were foule! but, in good soothe, Justice did amende her damaged fame with so rounde a summe in duckattes, that she was constrained to call a
husbande
in to counte them!—marry, from hence it waggishlie was said, that her Ladieship did drawe her
wedding sheetes
from out the
libertie of our presse!
"
PAGE 117.—GENUINE.
CXLVII—Vice-Admiral C—NW—S.
—"That same blustering
Ocean,
let me tell you, Neighbour, breedes us a fewe odde monsters, as troublesome as itselfe!—It is an element on which the circumnavigators of our Sovereign Lorde doe saile too ofte in chace of their owne phantasies! Some, like the moodie animals in
Noah
's daies, you cannot drive on boarde their barque with pitch-forkes; while others, muleishlie inclined, will hardlie quitte the
mountain
ARKE when it be stranded!"
PAGE 117.—GENUINE.
CXLVIII.—Lady SM—H B—G—SS.
"Soone as my husbande's trafficke i' th' EASTE
"Displaied with gilding raies a rising sunne,
"And bent the worlde's base worshippers before it,
"On his new wheele of fortune did I rolle
"Within the giddie circles of the greate
"To all mankind's amazement!—Restless there.
"I deale my aires fantasticallie rounde,
"Pledged by insatiate vanitie to prove
"What golde, with female frontlette unappalled
"In imitative grandeure may atchieve!"
PAGE 10.—
Not
GENUINE.
THIRTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.
CXLIX.—Lord M—LD—N.
"In these aristocratique daies, 't is well there be some
littel
LORDES, who can devise the meanes to make themselves
lesse:
such are your sillie knaves, who, setting not their bartes on aught substantial, will barter you the charmes of a delectable mistresse for the more fleetinge semblance of a
Prince
's favour!—These fellowes, without the spirit to protect a woman, will provoke you one of our most puissante Lordes to single combatte, and after all he toucheth not his doublette, though it be swollen out as huge as an
Islingtowne
haystacke!"
PAGE 3.—GENUINE.
CL.—D—ss of M—LB—GH.
"Go prate of meeke humilitie to those
"Whose neckes are form'd to bende beneathe her yoke
"I have a creste that gracefullie denotes
"A high, and loftie minde, which scorns to view
"Poore vulgar mortals crawling underneathe,
"Those insectes of a lower worlde, ordain'd
"To be by higher orders trodden down!"
PAGE 100.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLI.—Sir W—TK—N L—W—S.
"I have kepte my Sabbathes in potte houses to a scurvie tune, if these varlette Citizens, whom I have so nightlie drenched, do turne their ungrateful tailes upon me, now that my
Welch ale
is upon the lees!—But I will hie me to the lordlie ruler of our isle, and aske of him, whom I have followed through thicke and thinne, whether my deserts do entitle me to no better fate than to be turned up like a worn-out gander, to starve upon a common!"
PAGE 73.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLII.—C—ss of CH—M—D—Y.
"Come, cheerilie, sweete Madam, still I saie!
"These truante
Lordes
of ours will have their bente
"Though we our swelling hartes do sigh to attomes!
"'Tis not weake woman's praiers, nor teares will turn
"The loose, and
ot course of him she loves,
"Nor breake, alas! the
Circe
spelles of those
"Who doe by blandishments libidinous
"Entice the better parte of us away!"
PAGE 22.—GENUINE.
THIRTY-SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.
CLIII.—Sir JOHN H—PSL—Y.
—"The nurse who first proclaimed my goodlie
nose
must have predicted unwiselie, for it has led me on a wrong scent from it's nativitie to the present daie! If men's wives did marvelle in admiration of it in my youthe, their witlesse Lordes were sett upon their guard by this precursor of my approach! and now 't is dwindled to a gibeing stocke for the honourable
Virginnes of the Courte
to giggle at!—Since I have commenced Courtlie
Sir,
our witcrackers have cudgelled me with mine own weapons; nay the
holie Pontiffe
's blessing has availed me nought in the honours it procured, for my constituents have laughed this
bloodie hand
to scorne, because, forsoothe, they found it not
bleede freelie!
"
PAGE 63.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLIV.—Lady H—G—ST—N.
"Praie thee, offende mine acheing eare no more
"With sillie praises of a rural
Springe;
"Painte not to me her milke-maides ruddie cheekes,
"Her bleating flockes—or birdes that tunelesse sing:
"From these my better fate, quick let me flie
"Into the flattering hauntes of pollished men,
"Where gailie bloome our sexe's deare delightes,
"Which, oft as pluckt, doe instant budde anewe!"
PAGE 77.—GENUINE.
CLV.—Duke of Q—SB—Y.
"That can be no other than the
Compte Falsteinberg,
who still wears the gaie doublette of youthe, for having wrestled so long with Gaffer
Time
without a falle! He hath so beshattered the optical nerve of his nether eye, by gazing beautie from it's countenance, that it latelie went out like a small lighte in a strong winde!—Nowe puts he more confidence in
Women,
and but little in
Princes,
thinking hereby to leade a life that is uprighte, and Christian-like! Although insirmities manifolde do besette him, the milke of human kindnesse flows so rounde his weather-beaten harte, that when the ballance of his frail account is strucke, his follies shall weigh but as a feather, light against him!"
PAGE 34.—GENUINE.
CLVI.—Mrs. M. A. T—YL—R.
"In holie bandes no sooner was she trothed,
"Than the gaie flattering worlde did buzze around
"Her matchless shape in adoration wilde!
"Men swore her pictured semblance ill displaied
"The peering beauties of her lovelie forme;
"—That Nature robed in such divinitie
"No mimicke artifice could ever trace!
"These tales with calme indifference she heard,
"Nor deign'd to give one softe approving glance
"For all this prodigalitie of praise!
"Thus
mightie
prov'd ROWENA's wedded love,
"To guarde the honour of her
littel
Lorde!"
PAGE 243.—GENUINE.
THIRTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.
CLVII.—The P— of —.
"If I'm apparent heire to sov'raigne power,
"Why not my lordlie wille ride paramounte
"O'er all the narrowe limmittes of men's mindes?
"Oweing to nought obedience, who, like me,
"Can
woman
's shiftinge weaknesses controule—
"To fonde allegiance bende her yielding harte,
"In adoration, or in feare?—From her
"Let tribute first in
love
be dulie paide,
"A fruitful homage nexte, in sighes, and teares!"
PAGE 1.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLVIII.—Mrs. ST—T.
"Goe,
Gertrude,
and informe my Lorde the Kynge's Chiefe Justice, that though a weake, and sillie woman, I doe defie the power of his denunciations legal!—Tell him to boote, that, malgre his
bar-
points, I must have nightlie a
cocke
on my
carde,
though I do pennance for it by forfeiture of goodes, and chattalles! If his Lordship dothe saie trulie that I have lost the sense of shame, I can looke for it through any wooden
Mr. STEEVENS says, this was an instrument called by the Saxons a
Pillorie;
intended both for corporeal punishment, and mental shame.
tellescope in the face of the worlde, without further expenditure of blushinge!"
PAGE 31.—GENUINE.
CLIX.—Admiral Sir A— G—RD—R.
—"Avast, all handes!—I had rather repasse the fire of the enemie's
line,
than be thus run
athwart hauser
by those
land-lubbers
in the
choppes
of the
channelle!
—A longe watche in so short a sea, belikes me not! After bluffinge it to
windwarde
fifteen daies, on the 13th P. M. we came to
rough anchorage
in the straites of
Convente-Gardenne,
where we might have rode out the remainder of the gale; but seeing the COMMODORE rowe his
jollie boate
so right a heade, we doused our
top-gallant sail
to him, and finding ourselves drifting hard upon the
black buoy
on the
flattes,
piped all handes, to
cutte and run!
"
PAGE 100.—GENUINE.
CLX.—Lady M—N—RS.
"Why seeke ye, Sirs, the milde
Rowena
here?
"With the firste smile of opening morne she 'peared,
"And hied her forthe to visitte
Dian
's temple!
"There forms she wreathes of flowrettes chastelie culled
"From flowinge numbers of her plaintive muse,
"Sweetlie to decke faire
Fancie
's hallowed shrine!"
PAGE 234.—GENUINE.
THIRTY-NINTH DAY's TRIAL.
CLXI.—Earl of C—V—Y.
—"I doe still prefer the rogueish twinkeling of an hazel eye, to any other constellation; and yet the spiteful jades reporte I am grown olde, and ebbing faste to dotage! Marry but it likes me not to fall into the
vale of yeares,
because possession there is at the will of another
Lorde,
and deathe the fine certain for the fee-simple of a sinful life!—Were I not to encounter in the other worlde,
wives,
and
doxies
who have paid the debt of nature's frailties half a centurie before me, I might not heede this journieing hence; but to be clapper-clawed bothe here, and hereafter, is a pennance too harde for any mortal sinning!"
PAGE 49.—GENUINE.
CLXII.—Miss SN—W.
"That faire embodied masse is one of the mountain
Appenines,
for ever capt with
Snowe!
Whene'er the Sunne dothe woo her with his smiles right lustilie, charmed with his warme embrace, she melting yieldes unto his wille, and then poures forthe a genial current to the worlde belowe!"
PAGE 86.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLXIII.—Mr. BR—D—L.
"I knewe that whimsical Sir
Hugo
well, who waged knighte-errantrie against his own sweete peace! In a sunne-shinie day, one might see him, like an arrant schoole-boy, making duckes and drakes with the fleetinge comfortes of human life! At other times would he stand slip-shod at his lattice, to kicke the purest blessinges from his thresholde! With so unreasonable an eare for
musique
was he born, that he would forsake all the harmonies of his owne housholde, only to carry the cracked lute of a lewd minstrel, from
Padua
to
Verona!
"
PAGE 39.—GENUINE.
CLXIV.—Lady ANN L—MB—N.
—"Lowe on my bended knees I praie you pause, And viewe the dreadful precipice you neare With steppes unhallowed! Quick'ie tread them back, And
Time
oblivious soone shall raze them out. No longer let the proude, and parent soure Attainte the lesser vessels of your bloode, To pour dishonour foule on all our race!"
PAGE 104.—GENUINE.
FORTIETH DAY's TRIAL.
CLXV.—Sir G. P. T—R.
"Which meddling
Sir
among you, can fathome the minde of a greate man by the shallownesse of his everie daie understanding?—As to mine own selfe, let my deedes challenge their paramount desertes: am I not political, comical, scientifical, pragmatical, naie perchance poetical, according to the quarterly variations of
St. Dunstan
's chimes?—In the Senate, I doe speake marvelloussie without booke; and, returning home, can, upon a pinche, threade a needle for a faire sempstresse, though I doe pricke my littel finger in the atchievemente!—In a worde, I emploie the passing houres more in wisdom and sound discretion, than any other of our motlie Squires to be met with in
Salamanca!
"
PAGE 24.—GENUINE.
CLXVI.—Countess of G—F—D.
"Come, come,
Blanche,
on the worlde let us sette its proper value!—'tis this same wealthe dothe yielde to us women, all that our little hartes so sobbe, and sighe for. Marry, I tell thee, Girl, that
monie
is a
matche
as well as
mischiefe-
maker; for though it sett half mankind at loggerheades, it sweetlie bindes the better parte in
golden-bondage!
—Had my Lorde been even blinde to my attractions personal, (which Heaven forbade), he had witte enough at will to spie endowments in me, which outlive the short heighos of a bridal honie-moone!"
PAGE 186.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLXVII.—Lord D—L—V—L.
"A plague on these female musquitoes!—why do they keep buzzing about the fraile parte of man, after he is paste flie-blowing?—The jades know my weaknesse, and practise lasciviouslie upon it: and yet the lees of life are sweetened only by their cajoleries!—Men, it seems, have different tastes and palates; for mine own parte, I am for plaine sauce to my pickled gurnette! give me but a fine wenche and a fiddle, and consign all the witchinge
whoredoms
of BABYLON to my Lordes the Bench of B—S!"
PAGE 77.—GENUINE.
CLXVIII.—Miss K—P—L.
"How it has chanced, that loftie
Arestine
"Her colde and virgin course so long hath helde,
"None truly can devise. With airie pride
"Her wilde and light-hued tresses still do flowe
"In plaieful luxurie adown her necke,
"Enticing everie eye to wanton thither!
"Surelie a creature formed and featured thus,
"Should be enforced to leave the common-weale
"Some little semblance of her lovelie selfe!
"Yet is her harte so icicled around,
"That not the woomg breathe of all her slaves
"Can thawe one frozen sighe, or grace her cheeke
"With one soft smile which
Love
might call his owne!"
PAGE 20.—GENUINE.
FORTY-FIRST DAY's TRIAL.
CLXIX.—Bishop of B—R.
—"Pshawe! my good Lorde of
Canterburie!
nowe are you grown more meeke, than trulie sapient. If, for a little manual
batterie
in defence of our Holie
Churche,
they be suffered to
assault
me legallie—'tis well!—By St. Paule, I stretched out mine arme of fleshe but to subdue the wratheful spirit of the sinful man. In veritie he did refuse salvation in mine own way, that I might humble him to the grounde, and thus from eternal bondage save him! Should they still squib their pop-gun quidlibets at
nisi prius
—appealing to our
Alma Mater,
I must bring her
Cannon Lawe
in my defence:—nay, and they more enchafe my mitred browes,
malgre
my wife's salt teares, by the masse, as
Abbotte
of BANGOR, but I will lay right lustilie about me!"
PAGE 100.—GENUINE.
CLXX.—Lady W—L—GH—Y of E—BY.
"Sir, as in infant honours you are dressed,
"And that by mine owne hande, I pray you keepe
"Your name, and new-coined title, far aloofe
"From my long-blazoned fame!—Goe, proudlie ga
"Upon your unsoiled
pattente,
cheaplie earned,
"And leave to me, your dignifieing wife,
"The thornie traverses to higher grandeurl
"Mine be the politie to move between
"The love and hatred of a
royal pair,
"And manage well their courtlie discontents.—
"With these, I charge you, intermeddle not,
"Lest I, who out of nothinge made a
Lorde,
"His Lordshippe may annihilate againe!"
PAGE 34.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLXXI.—Sir G—DF—Y W—R.
—"And you should see Sir
Godbolde
's pette
Ewe
passe the mountaine, doe his Worshippe a goode turne, honest shepherde, and make reporte of her right speedilie!—The poore
Knight
hathe lamentablie lost in her, four quarters of as prettie muttone as ever sheepishlie looked
tuppe
i' th' face!—We doe marvel what the murrain could aile her, unless she was stricken with the
gad-flie,
and argyle on our
Southerne Downes,
could not decentlie contain herself!—Marry, I doe fear at best she will return to us too full of unlawful lambe, to be fit foode for any but FOXES to devoure!"
PAGE 20.—GENUINE.
CLXXII.—Hon. Miss R—.
"Where hides the fell despoiler now his heade,
"On which the laurelles of licentious love
"Too longe have bloomed?—Base counterfeite of man,
"Saie, could thy luring harte no warfare wage
"But 'gainst the virginne weaknesse of our sexe?
"False to thy vowes in earlie wedlocke made,
"What from thy ripen'd perjuries could growe
"But blighted fruite our penitence to feede!
"Goe, monster, baselie destined to transforme
"A maiden's sighs to imprecations wilde;
"Thy hauntes her ceaseless curses shall pervade,
"To tell thee what to villainy she owes!"
PAGE 11.—
Not
GENUINE.
FORTY-SECOND DAY's TRIAL.
CLXXIII.—Earl of ER—L.
"As you are more sharpe-witted than myselfe, I do subscribe most voluntarilie to your opinion:—so thus it simplie standes:—
'by foregoing my title, I am the more entitled to be a Gentleman than when I was a Lorde;'
—for say you trulie, that
Gentlemen
were made ere
Lordes
were created, or begotten; ergo, Lordships were fabricated but to make new-fangled Gentrie, which we, of
original
stocke, stand not in neede of. In veritie then it is a problem most cleare, that I do think it long till I am beridden of my Lordlie title, and become the
prettie kinde of Gentleman
that you do devoutlie wish to see me!"
PAGE 113.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLXXIV.—Lady A—KL—D.
"Goe,—from
Asterna
's perfect model forme
"Your patterned mothers to adorne the lande!
"By travaile oft endured, and hopes renewed,
"Her duties are so graven on her harte,
"That no alluring blandishments of Courtes
"From her parental course can now seduce her!"
PAGE 22.—GENUINE.
CLXXV.—Rev. Dr. R—ND—PH.
—"Looke ye, Sirs! as a man of holie life and conversation, I doe expecte to be entreated with all priestlie reverence!—I'll take the sinnes of no
fraile fleshe
in christendom more than what I bear alreadie.—I delivered the
pacquet royalle
with my own handes, and sawe it
booked,
'by
the whole dutie of manne!
'
—Touchinge the
Golden Coinage
of our Sov'rain Liege, I know nought—for by the masse if it did journie with me it chinked not! That I placed this
pacquet
in the right roade to salvation, is true as lighte! let those who did pervert it to purposes of darkness therefore be responsible.—If the worlde, putting
'
faithe in my goode workes,
'
do believe me,
'well!'
—if not, I pleade my
benefitte of Clergy!
"
PAGE 12.—GENUINE.
CLXXVI.—M—n—ss of ST—F—D.
"Oh, she that bare her did I knowe right well!—
"When destined to depart our happie isle,
"In teares she left it for a foreigne shore,
"Though on its beache a
princelie lover
stoode!
"Harde now, that fate should blightinglie pursue
"Her fairest offspringe, hither driven o'er
"To cull upon her mother's native soile
"Some of those blessinges which she lefte behind!
"Boldlie I'll stand beside her innocence,
"Though all the browes of power doe frown upon me!"
PAGE 34.—GENUINE
FORTY-THIRD DAY's TRIAL.
CLXXVII.—Marquis of B—TH.
"Slave! bring me another stoope of
Canarie,
and then leave me to my lucubrations!—In taking offe all my bon companions, Dame
Fate
hathe rather run me harde; for nowe am I doom'd, bottle after bottle, to recount my loss of those who popped off before me, like decayed corkes from wine upon the frette!—So here incessantlie sit I, to drink a requiem to their jollie soules!"
PAGE 13.—GENUINE.
CLXXVIII.—Hon. Mrs. B—V—RIE.
—"Oh! she hathe an unconquerable spirit in matters of public concerne; and so zealous for the well doinge of the
common weale,
that she kicked her tailor down staires, onlie, forsoothe, because he had made a costlie robe of state for the Queene's Majestie, when she looked to be sole
Regent
of the
People!
"
PAGE 103.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLXXIX.—Duke of M—NCH—R.
"I viewed him on the margin of the
Thames,
plyeing a pair of
oares,
as if he had to earn a scantie livelihoode by buffeting the foamie tide!—Whether his Grace will thus bequalifie himself the better for affaires of state, I wotte not; but,
certes,
he must be well prepared for the worste of times; because, by the dexterous use of his
scull,
he maie contrive at least to keepe his owne
heade
above the water!"
PAGE 72.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLXXX.—Princess S—PH—A of GL—R.
—"Well might one envie those
"Within the confine of some lowlie vale,
"Who passe their fleeting lives as nature willes,
"In all the purities of faithful love!
"My sickening harte for these would gladlie yielde
"The titled trappinges which so much disguise
"Whate'er simplicitie maie challenge in me!"
PAGE 206.—GENUINE.
FORTY-FOURTH DAY's TRIAL.
CLXXXI.—Sir WILLIAM G—RY.
—"To the SULTAN's prime
Mufti
am I indebitted for mine election, who deigned to choose me publicke spendthrifte of mine own privie purse for the benefitte of the State! The nexte honour I do looke for, is a permission, under his Highness's hande and seale, to builde an hospitalle for
courtlie lunatiques,
and to be named sole Governor thereof myselfe, at special times, whene'er the moone be at her fulle!"
PAGE 54—GENUINE
CLXXXII.—Hon. Mrs. N—TH.
—"Oh! there is a giddie worme within this unsubdued fleshe of mine, that will not die, and which neither travel e, nor the arte spiritualle of my
mitred
LORDE can ever sette at reste!"
PAGE 16.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLXXXIII.—Hon. Capt. GEORGE B—KL—Y.
"The faulte must lie at his own doore, if a warfareing man be not accounted valorous in the world's weake judgement at the least!—Why hathe he the gifte of tongue, but to promulgate deedes, which did not reach the eyes of ordinarie observers?—Marry, to make
Fame
's records surer on your side, call forthe the
Limner
's arte, which dothe bepaint right lustilie beyond the life, and he will so beblazon fiction's feates to aftertimes, that they shall long survive the short-lived valoure of your fighting Sirs!"—
PAGE 10.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLXXXIV.—Duchess of N—TH—B—D.
"Well maie
Northumbria
's race in soothe be proud
"Of this puissante partner of their Chiefe!
"Whate'er in mortal dignitie there be,
"
Sans
question it adornes her lovelie browe,
"Besuiting well the diadem she weares.
"But high o'er this so gracefullie doe peere
"The simpler virtues of domestique life,
"That soone the titled eminence is loste
"In admiration of the
fairer
WOMAN!"—
PAGE 49.—GENUINE.
FORTY-FIFTH DAY's TRIAL.
CLXXXV.—Earl of L—SD—LE.
—"That is the manne to my thinking on the score of valour personal, who can
fighte
with all heaven's creatures more heartilie than
feede
them!—Such an one is constrained to delve into the hungrie bowels of the laude, in searche of wealthe he lacketh not; thus procreating convulsions under grounde, and making her people with their mother
earthe
to
quake!
—Of such almightie men,
Marvino,
they now-a-daies doe moulde their
Lordes,
so that their constitution politique be not sapped by more desperate
underminers!
"
PAGE 27.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLXXXVI.—Mrs. M. A. T—YL—R.
[Her Second SUFFRAGE.]
—"A truce, I praie thee,
Blanche,
"To all the dulcet flatterie of thy tongue!
"If in the vision of my dapper Lorde
"So prominent my beautie dothe appeare,
"Bid him no more unaptlie note it downe
"Upon the chilling canvas of an arte,
"But conjugallie give from Nature's touche,
"More glowinge copies of my lovelie selfe,
"Though they be framed in
little!
"—
PAGE 34.—GENUINE.
CLXXXVII.—Lord M—LMS—Y.
—"Oh, Sir, their choice did well devolve on him, so artfullie ordained to nibble things asunder!—Marked you not, in
Regencies
of yore, how well he did essay to gnawe the ligatures in twaine, which had so long upheld the canopie o' the State?—Who then so fitte to trie his skilfulle toothe upon the newer cordage that dothe more slightlie binde the destinies of
France!
—Trust to 't, the deede he 'll doe, if that his
ratteish
nose be not ensnared within the fresh-filed trappe of thier new republique!"
PAGE 108.—
Not
GENUINE.
CLXXXVIII.—Miss ST—RT.
"Though elder borne of her that gave me life,
"Her vaine propensities I ne'er did share!
"Soone as the midnight orgies of our house,
"With all the revelries of lustfulle plaie
"Doe'gin their baneful course, with traverse slowe
"Within my chambered privacie I hie,
"And there corporeallie obtaine repose,
"Awhile my painful and affrighted minde
"Dothe dreame of all the wicked worlde belowe."
PAGE 12.—
Not
GENUINE.
FORTY-SIXTH DAY's TRIAL.
CLXXXIX.—Sir WM. P—LT—Y.
—"Naie, and what of that?—If manne be borne of earthlie minde, let him be forthwith nominated Purveyor-General in
peccadilloe
of that duste, to which worm-like he must returne;—I knewe me such an one, the strange inhabitant of a venerable dwellinge, who did escape taxation of all windowe lattices, by contenting himselfe with the simple luminations of his owne braine!—there satre he, time out of patience, exorbitantlie measuring forth to needie trowel-menne, his owne soile by the inch square!—thus he grewe abundant in his wealthe, until the maine beames of his mansion did becracke with the sterling weighte of golde, incontinentlie piled up!"
PAGE 63.—
Not
GENUINE.
CXC.—Madame S—W—L—GH.
"Mine
Got!
but dey doe belie his royalle youthe most marvelouslie!—By mine trute, but he be growne both a sveete, and a goote
P
ince!
Vhy—in his grace he now be so font of me, that he dothe wisitre de bedde in mine affliction, and plaie with efferie littel haire upon mine cheeke!—then he dothe talke of mine
ducattes
so kindlie, az eef dey ve
his owne!—naie, I doe beliefe dat he vould kindl
e take dem into his own royalle keepinge, for de comforte of mine old age!—Oh! he be de sveeiest, and de visest
Prince
that ever did spring from the Royalle stocke of
Yarmanny!
"
PAGE 37.—GENUINE.
CXCI.—Alderman C—MBE.
—"Sir, I tell you, though I am a brewer of
browne stoute,
these civique honours sitte not lightlie on my shoulders. True it is, that I have raised myselfe, from a man o' the Common Liverie, to be a chiefe o'er Common Counsellors i' the
Easte,
while my companions i' the
West
did declare unto me, that 'robes and fuired gownes hide all!' Marry, Sir, if that were so, the
Cittes
had not espied the
shaking of my elbowe
beneath an Aldermanique gabardine!—I tell you once againe, these civique honours sitte not light upon me!"
PAGE 28.—GENUINE.
CXCII.—Lady H— S—YM—R.
"Who sawe ROWENA in her maiden state,
"When all the beauties of a modest minde
"Began to peere, and innocentlie blende
"Their tintes with those, which decked her lillie cheeke?
"So still she keepes her captivating stores,
"Though on a lovelie race she hathe bestowed
"Unnumbered graces from her parent stocke!"
PAGE 14.—GENUINE.
FORTY-SEVENTH DAY's TRIAL.
CXCIII.—Bishop W—TS—N.
—"Suppose that he be an ABBOTTE cloathed in
priestehoode,
he will prove no worme-eaten buttrasse to our Mother
Churche
on this side the grave, or I have mista'en his Reverence hugelie! Whilst his bretheren in the houre of jeopardie did turn their mitres into night-cappes, from their meeke propensitie to dozeing, he bestirred lustilie in his vocation, and stoode him forthe the true defender of our Christianne faithe!—Hence is yclep'd the holie
Al-hymiste,
because he dothe extracte for men's mindes, the puritie of earthlie comforte from the
cruscible
of his owne benevolence!"
PAGE 55.—GENUINE.
CXCIV.—Lord C—M—LF—D.
—"Avaste, my brinie messemates!—if you thwa
e, and turn him blufflie nose to tide, the spraye of his wrathe will souse some of you sore and afte, I tell ye!—Only ease him, d'ye see, a point or two from the winde, and you 'll ride safelie with him through the roughest weather!—Neither your Courtes nor crownettes, bilboes nor bastinadoes, can warpe him from sait water, which he delights in like a wild-ducke!—He met the
Algerine
but t'other day, who gave him so short an allowance of comfort on board his corsair!—my limbs! but he rubbed out the old score with his rattan upon his
Barbary
shoulders, till the
Sea-calfe
roared out for mereie he had never
ew
!—The younker is a pickled fish, that's certain—but a goode office goes with him through life, while a dirtie one never slippe, his reckoninge!"
PAGE 27.—GENUINE.
CXCV.—Miss M—L—S.
"If I could truste his
Grace
's melting eyes
"Which doe so busilie befellowe mine,
"I might th
onde interrogating harte
"Now sette a
, and sweete assurance give
"That it hathe sealed its sov'raigne hope!—Whate'er
"The fraile accomplishments I boaste,
"These let me
the best of boones,
"In fondest w
at they may treasure up
"The nuptial blestinge thus so proud
ie won!"
PAGE 22.—GENUINE.
CXCVI.—Lord R—LLE.
—"
Certes,
SIRE, a man may plaie the foole in lowe life in order to his exaltation; but having attained a Lordshippe paramount, he cannot continue to execute the humble things that appertain themselves to simple common-hoode!—True it is, my LIEGE, that our
vassalage
of DEVONNE have swerved from their betrothed allegiance to the Ruler of your State. Deign you to aske, why I, with all my mighte and zeale, did not prevent it?—my answer, SIRE, is shortlie this: I could have dispersed the sturdie knaves with the bare breathe of my lordlie nostrils, though they had swarmed like
pilchardes
on our coaste; but since it did beplease your Highnesse to shape from me a PEER of Brittaine's realme—marry I've other
fishe to frie!
"
PAGE 12.—GENUINE.
FORTY-EIGHTH DAY's TRIAL.
CXCVII.—Lady ELIZ. L—T—L.
"What an
Irishe howle
is here sette up, about the departure of a paltrie
rouleau
of light guineas, for which I gave a draughte upon my monie-holder's banke, for value not received!—A
Bill of Plai
,
not being stamped for honourable purpose, ought not, by legalle custom of exchange, to be dulie honoured; therefore did I
counter-cheque
my order, which, in the weaknesse of womanhoode, I had issued; and for this onlie hathe my saire fame been scandalouslie beslurred throughout the capital!—But if I have not ample veng
ance on that
dealer
in
odde trickes,
may I never sette cocke upon a carde againe!"
PAGE 321.—GENUINE.
CXCVIII.—Mr. T—RN—Y.
—"Canvasse me the voters wives of
Southwarke,
for I must batter the hustinges once more with the cuckoldie heades of their Lordes and Masters!—Since no lawe, dead or living, can denominate this a
treate,
kisse me also their spinster daughters throughout the
Mint,
being heedful that the hussies do not warmlie paie you back in your own
coine!
—Having stayed the
trencher
worke of my opponent, perchance I may the electors starve into a just opinion of mine own
desert.
—I have told them roundlie, that a
freed-man
must come to the
polle
with an
emptie stomach,
to preserve a
sounde constitution,
and that he can swallowe nought but my wordes without a deep transgression of the statute lawe:—if this avail me not, there will be no trappinge the warie knaves, either
full,
or
fastinge!
"
PAGE 123.—GENUINE.
CXCIX.—Hon. Miss H—Y.
—"By my knighthoode but she is a comlie lasse! and so expert a mistresse in the arte of
signalles,
that she can make you a
mirrour
of her own
'kerchiefe,
and, by the quicknesse of her eye, reade its reflected answers from one streete's end to the other. In good soothe, this faire dame is in a faire way to be marvelouslie
signalized!
"
PAGE 73.—
Not
GENUINE.
CC.—Mr. W—LB—F—CE.
"Mark me nowe, Honourable Sirs! although manne's conscience be
enslaved,
may not his bodie still be free, and active to the warie purports of his minde!—For mine own parte, I had, in
Christianne
veritie, an earlie
calle
unto the humbler pathes of
grace;
—whate'er the proffitte of it be in this vaine worlde, I take it as a foretaste of my future recompence in that which is to come!—Nay, and it be our sacred privilege, goode Senators, to trafficke in
pietie,
we must be allowed to barter the superfluxe of
spiritual concerns,
to insure our own
political salvation!
"
PAGE 37.—
Not
GENUINE.
FORTY-NINTH DAY's TRIAL.
CCI.—Lady S—MP—N.
—"If she be an old
Puss
too proude and statelie to catch a mouse i' the barne, she were as well, for the quiet of the house, to be without her clawes!—A murrain seize your
tabbie
CATTES, say I!—what a spittinge and meweinge doe they sette up, to make the brawlinges of a high winde more hideous! Woe betide the restless tenants of that roose, o'er the pann-tiles of which these whiskered wizzardes doe rantipole it so shrewishlie!"
PAGE 10.—GENUINE.
CCII.—Mr. C. ATK—N.
—"Blesse the poore manne's odde wittes, that will never let his heade reste but in stations too exalted! Here have they thruste it once more into our
Senate House,
where the wagges doe throwe their jokes and jibes more cuttinglie about them, that your poulterers wives their filthie egges at Martin-masse!"
PAGE 57.—GENUINE
CCIII—Ald—n P—CK—T.
—"When they did expunge those emptie heades from off the frontler of our Citie's gate, mine own was sette thereon, and did most wittinglie devise how to dismantle our
Temple's barre
to pub
ique inter cursion. It doth seeme, to builde a civique fame, one must be constrained to pull you down the stouter workes of antient men!—But the minde, my masters, must be kept in concussion, or the braine of an ordinarie citizen would soon curdle over, like greene duck-weede on a gardenne ponde!"
PAGE 1.—GENUINE.
CCIV.—Lady H—THC—TE.
—"Oh she dothe sweetlie bende
"The mirthfulle gaieties of polished life
"Unto the meede of Christian
charitie!
"Marke where she leades the rural masque, or balle,
"And viewe her faire companions i' the scene;
"Though riche incharmes, in simple vestes they're cladde,
"Wrought all by spinsters' handes in hamlettes rounde!
"'Tis thus that mirthe and innocence doe twine
"Their staple virtues to adorne the minde!"
PAGE 37.—GENUINE.
END OF VOL II.
S. Gosnell, Printer, Little Queen Street.